is there a quicker and faster way to evict someone, aside from court?

Answer 1

"Call child welfare if they have kids"

Yeah, that's really smart. Use taxpayers resources for petty revenge. Send overworked caseworkers on a wild goose chase while some other kid who really needs help is being beaten to death. Way to go!

An eviction that is not done properly through the court is called a self-help eviction and is against the law in all states. You will get sued ... and in some places, you will also be arrested. The more retaliatory actions on your part, the higher the damages that will be awarded to the tenant.

Harassing a tenant is against the law. So is filing false reports.

You can pay a tenant to leave. You can also ask a tenant to leave, but without a court order they are under no obligation to do so.

If you really need to evict someone, do it the proper way.

Answer 2

Eviction requirements and procedures differ from state to state. In Iowa, a person can be given a written 72-hour notice when the rental agreement is violated, and must leave the premises within that period or the sheriff can be called and the occupant can be forcefully evicted. In Arkansas, the eviction doesn't have to be in writing, but usually a 30-day eviction notice is required, with 15 days being the minimum except where the rent is overdue. Then eviction can be accomplished in 24 hours, according to my understanding. In Illinois, a pregnant woman can't be evicted, and their are other restraints which can and do get very tricky, all in favor of the tenant. The point of all this?

Contact an attorney or a landlord's association to find out what the procedure is in your state. Don't go to the police of the sheriff because, in my experience, neither will know what the law says.

Answer 3

Put a can of fish in a vent. Fresh works better, but then there's a mess.
If you are not opposed to vandalism, put the fish inside furniture. Like in the frames of metal desks. Then put the decorative cover back on. If you have a pass key that is.
Get a few cats. Males that are NOT neutered spray urine on everything. You will have to clean though.
Get a dog. A dog that barks non-stop. Chances are they will leave before authorities get their act together and move against you. I lived next to a nuisance barker, and it was months before animal control did anything. Someone poisoned the dang dog before animal control pulled their heads out of their butts long enough to do anything, so you should be fine.
Start picking off their pets. Only if you can get away with it though.
Send Jehovah's Witnesses to their door. Call a temple (where Jehovah's Witnesses worship) and tell them you are one of the kids, that their parents are worshiping the devil and that you are scared and want to know Jesus. You could keep that up a long time in a large city.
Call child welfare if they have kids, that could back fire on you, so only if it's an emergency.
If you have a fax number for them, tape 6 sheets of paper together and write "leave" on each one. Then send the fax, when the first page goes through, tape the top of that sheet to the bottom of the last sheet to make a loop. Let it run for hours. BEWARE: some fax machines write the sender's information on the fax, so make sure yours doesn't or disable that feature.
This is my own personal favorite. Set it up and let it run all night.

Try just telling them you want them to go. Maybe they will. Offer incentives.
Money, sex, anything.

Answer 4

written notice with a date of vacating, delivered by registered post, then change the locks.

Answer 5

give them notice in writing, give them a date to be out by. thats how we do it here in western canada

Answer 6

sorry - You have to go to court --

Answer 7

NO! Do it in court or they will sue.

Answer 8

shoot them and dump the bodies