Did my daughter not bond with her daddy?

Question

My daughter is 2 months old. My hubby was out of work 2 weeks after baby was born. Now he works 12 hour shifts & sleeps in between & is off on the weekends. When he holds her she gets fussy. Is it because he didn't get to bond with her or she has to get to know him again? Or are most babies just close to their mommies like that? I would like to know cause it worries me.

Answer 1

Your husband is taking care of his family and that is wonderful. She will understand that. My first born is now 4 years old. When she was a baby her daddy worked a lot too. She has always liked the way mommy did things better. My husband even traveled for a month to work and she missed him terribly; although when he was around she would never show it. Sometimes she would even ignore him. But, she always told him that she loves him and that is what is important. Now, they are very close. They love to sit and snuggle on the chair or go out and play whenever they get a chance (though she knows that he has to work).
Don't force the issue on either one. Your baby is just use to the way you do things. She will learn that daddy can't always be there and that when he is he does things different. If you don't make an issue over it with them- she will come close to him on her own terms. They will find something that bonds the two of them together. (My daughter and her dad love to eat cookies and milk together- that is there bonding time). Everything will be fine.l

Answer 2

Babies are always going to be closer to the parent or person that they see and are held by most of the time. The fact that your husband works a lot of the time and don't spend enough time with the baby is what makes her fussy. It's not that she don't bond with him it's just she is just not use to him and she at a stage where she is going to cry if she feel like she doesn't know the person she is being held by. My baby was closer to her father for the simple fact that I didn't breast feed and I worked a lot. Babies feel more comfortable with the person who show them the most love and if it is equal than the baby will fine with the both of you. Your husband just have to spend more time with your daughter and im sure she will be fine. In general babies do some time tend to choose their favorite parent. It's nothing to worry about epecially since she is so young. Now if she was like 2 years old and older and cry when she gets by her father than that would be something to worry about, but untill then your fine

Answer 3

My husband was deployed the first four months of my son's life. While that seems like there would be an adverse effect, there is none at all. My son is seven months now and they get along great--they are buddies. I don't think a two month old really "bonds" with anyone other then their mother. In our family I'm the one who does all the serious stuff--baths, feeding, discipline, homework, and just regular stuff. Where as my husband is there to have fun with the boys and play games. I think at two months babies just care about the primary care giver. I'm not saying she doesn't love your husband or doesn't have a bond with your husband...it's just a different kind that maybe developmentally she isn't ready for yet. I hope you understand what I am trying to say! Anyway best of luck to your family and congratulations!

Answer 4

A lot of babies are only comfortable w/ what's familiar. She will get used to him. Bonding only really seems to happen b/w mommies and babies. For a long time Daddy is just another person in the room. Nothing personal to daddy. She will start to recognized him better in a month or so.

Answer 5

Bonding doesn't happen at only one point. It isn't a hit-or-miss thing. Bonding takes place throughout your child's life. All the time that you and your husband spend with your baby is bonding time.

When my 2 kids were really young, they were very attached to me. I stayed home with them and was nursing, so they were just used to spending most of their time with me. Also, babies at this age don't understand that they're separate from their mothers. Around 6 months of age they start to realize that they're a separate person and that mommy isn't part of them. :) Until then, some babies get stressed about leaving their mothers. Spend time sitting with your husband and baby together so she gets more time with both of you. Also, your daughter might not be used to the way your husband holds her, plays with her, etc. It's good for her to get used to differences and be able to adapt to different situations, but it's going to take her some time. Don't try to make your husband do the exact things you do. You'll soon find that he does some things that quiet her quickly that just don't work for you.

For now, don't worry. Your daughter is being completely normal!

And over the next years, take time to bond while she's going down the slides, riding your bikes together, helping with homework, and conversations at the dinner table. :)

Answer 6

Think of children who are adopted by new parents when older than your daughter is. Do they not still bond with their new mommy and daddy? My son's father was out of the picture until he was almost 5 months old, and they bonded perfectly well. Additionally, he is 13 months old now, and still bonds with new people all the time...day care workers...new friends...people we see often....neighbors, etc.

Also, it is important to know that most children choose one parent over the other. Please don't take this the wrong way, ALL children do it. Normally they choose a parent to be their 'favorite' around 2-5 months and continue with this until they are around 15-18 months old, then most children switch to the other parent. They may continue to trade off their 'favorite' every couple of years, or finally stick with one or the other around age 3 or 4. Hence, "daddy's little girl"...you know the one....the little devil that will scream when anyone on earth tries to control her, but melts into a perfect angel when daddy walks in. Get used to it.

Answer 7

Not necicarily. Some babies are more clingy than others to their primary care givers. I'm a nanny for a 6 month old, and she will go to almost anyone, but I've worked with other babies that were the exact opposite. It would be really good for him to spend as much time with her as he can. Have him carry her around in a frontpack carrier, or lay her on the floor and play with her. If he isn't holding her, she may be more likely to interact with him. Plus, if he gets stressed holding her, she'll pick up on that. Make sure that you stay around when he's with her, if that's what works. Eventually she'll come around, even if you are still her "favorite" for a while.

Answer 8

She may feel more comfortable with her mommy. You are more nuturing than daddy is at this point and she may feel closer to you. She is still far too young to have had a chance to get used the routine of her parents. She will soon learn to enjoy being in daddys arms as much as she enjoys being in mommy's. I would just give her time to adjust and just make sure he spends all the time possible with her on the weekends.

Answer 9

Truth is your baby really doesn't care to much about dad right now! The only concern she has is having a full tummy! My husband is extremely close with all of our daughters.He works out of town and still maintains that bond.As your daughter grows she will develope a beautiful bond with dad.As she grows she will notice his existance and go to him or look to his voice.My husband is home on weekends only.Sat. mornings they all lay in bed and watch soccer together,it has become a routine they all look forward to.Don't trouble yourself about this everything will be just fine.

Answer 10

Babies, especially daughters, naturally hate men. Just kidding. She may need more time to bond with him. After he holds her a little more, things should get better.