I've been with my current boyfriend for just over 4 years except for a short time last year when we broke up for a while. We got back together because I missed him, but now I'm so fed up with him. I don't love him any more and I feel like we have nothing in common. How can I break his heart again after promising that I wouldn't hurt him like that again? He is only my 2nd boyfriend so I have next to no experience in things like this.
2006-09-25 06:48:37 · 53 answers · asked by Sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sleep with his brother
2006-09-25 06:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by tfd 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him that even though you love him, you are no longer in love with him. The two terms have completely different meanings.
Tell him you always wish to remain friends, and that you know its' going to hurt him for awhile, but that eventually when it subsides somewhat, you would hope that he seek you out and that you two can at least preserve the friendship.
Then, kiss him and tell him he has left you with precious memories that nobody else, but you and he remember, and that you will never forget the contribution to growth he has given you, and how good he has been to you, and that he has not done anything wrong, because he is going to blame himself.
Then, let him know that sometimes 2 people just grow apart instead of together and that you feel that is happening, and before you lose him as a friend forever, you think it's best to dissolve the relationship right now.
Don't argue. Don't be rude. Don't blame him for anything...just tell him goodbye and get up and walk out.
There is nothing you can really do to make this easier on the guy, or you. But once it is done, you will feel a great relief.
I really hope this helps you out.
Good luck.
2006-09-25 06:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you must have some feelings for him if you missed him. There is no such thing is expeience girl. The only thing you can listen to is your heart. THink long and hard about this. Do you have any feelings for him. You guys have to have some thing in common. Sit him down find out some thing you have in common with you. It might take a while but ask him ?'s then have him ask you ?'s. I really think you have some sort of feelings for him or else you wouldnt have missed him when you broke up. And obviously he has feelings for you senice you said you didnt want to hurt him like that a gain. Stick witch what your heart says. And if it says he's not the one then find him some one better so you don't hurt him again. Trust me it dosnt feel good to be hurt
2006-09-25 06:54:06 · answer #3 · answered by unkown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him, and no matter how much he begs and pleads you have to stay strong. It's for his good as well as your own. You cannot stay in a relationship based on pitty. He deserves better and so do you. It may break his heart now, but hearts mend and at least this way he will eventually come to terms with it and move on. I say eventually as it could take a long time. You need to make sure he knows there is no chance of a reconcilliation or he will hold on to the hope that you will change your mind. It sounds to me like he is very dependant on you, and this is not fair on you. You have to live your life and follow your heart or you will never be happy, and neither will he
2006-09-25 10:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say why you broke up with him in the first place. Only your 2nd boyfriend tells me you are very young. Neither of you really know what you want yet....and this is a time when you should be learning this from experience. Be honest with each other....if it's not working , say so and tell him the reasons. Move on....unless you are willing to make changes and compromises to continue the relationship. If you recognize that it won't work......move on....there are plenty of guys out there. There's nothing wrong with dating different guys... you can sample what many of them are like ...before you commit to a long term relationship.
2006-09-25 07:01:23 · answer #5 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say if you live together or not - if you do amke sure you have somewhere to go first.
Either way cook a meal (don't serve wine) and over the meal ask him how he thinks the relationship is going. Tell him that you have something very difficult to tell him. He will have guessed by now where you are going but you will have to say it. Expect him to be upset, allow him to cry and ask questions for an hour or so and then either call him a cab or leave yourself.
There is no easy way to do it but you have to allow him the dignity of telling him in private, being honest with him, and telling him in person.
2006-09-25 06:54:11 · answer #6 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is tell him outright, and leave him be for a time, it may be a long time. You are at fault here, and it will be hard for him to start over. My advice, give him a reason to hate you. The anger will help him through the depression. DONT date for a while. Its important to his sense of self, he needs to feel good enough about himself to think himself worthy of another. Do not test your friends and you need to seriously think about how honest you are capable of being with yourself. Theres no experience like the painful, and you are choosing a hard way for both of you. Good luck, don't make promises that you can't or don't want to keep. Do not do what you hate.
2006-09-25 06:56:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew.................This is why I always date 2-3 guys at a time. I'm clear that I won't make commitments to only one person.......even if he is the only one......I never let them know that. Since I've done this I have always been treated well by guys.
You could also say, next time he asks you out, "oh, I.m sorry I can't go out with you on Friday, I already have a date........how about on Saturday, I don't have any plans for Saturday yet.
Either he'll give you the space or he'll break-up himself......I truly believe that if a guy is repeating behaviors that annoy you, that he is trying to get you to break up with him anyway....good luck
2006-09-25 06:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by Dino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER make promises because nothing is promise besides death.
Just break up with him. Tell him that you're fed up with him, that you don't love him anymore, etc. The truth hurts but he deserves to know. Don't drag this on any longer.
2006-09-25 06:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't listen to some of these immature answers. Secondly I think that you should just tell him how you feel. Tell him that you are not trying to hurt him but you are not happy and are not feeling him the way use to and that you believe its best that you end the relationship so that you both can seek happiness elsewhere since you cant get it from each other.
2006-09-25 06:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by Brown Sugar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is no way out of this relationship without him getting hurt. If you want him to be happy then you have to stay with him. If you want out of the relationship then you have to just break up with him in a sincere way. Let him know how you feel and then tell him that you can't be with him.
2006-09-25 06:52:09 · answer #11 · answered by Starlesha23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋