I have a friend who's been in a relationship with a woman for nine years. They don't live together and they aren't married, but he says he needs more time to "see which direction the relationship will take".
Sounds to me like he should already know. What are your opinions?
2006-09-25 06:47:26 · 15 answers · asked by wayouthere 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's not waiting for time. He has what he wants, that 's just the answer he's giving you. For whatever reason, the arrangement works for both of them. If it wasn't right, one of them would get out. You need to take care of your own relationships and leave them alone.
2006-09-25 06:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nine years?? Come on, nobody needs this amount of time to decide where the relationship is going. I think that one year is more than a reasonable amount of time. If you can't tell this person is right for you by then, they must not be spending enough time together for a reason. Huh, think about it. Sounds to me like it is just a relationship of convenience for both of them.
2006-09-25 13:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mindy G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A long delay like that one means usually that they have bonded more like friends rather than 2 people "in love" he needs no more time at all because he will go from adolescense to geriatiric in this relationship alone if he does not move on. It may seem bad now but 2 months from now they both will be in a better spot.
2006-09-25 13:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by johnlothrop@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend in the exact same situation, how funny! I honestly can't understand how someone can be with someone for 9 years and not know "where the relationship is going", but hey, if they're both stupid enough to stay in that kind of relationship for so long, then so be it.
2006-09-25 13:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he likes things to be exactly as they are; no harm in that, as long as both of them are on the same page. Different people have different ideas about a perfect relationship, maybe these two have found theirs.
I personally would not wait for more than 2 years for a wedding ring.
2006-09-25 13:57:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
god knows... sometimes you know the day u meet, sometimes you need a lot of thinking.
But no matter how in love, or compatible, taking that giant leap is always scary... i mean come on... forever... thats a long time.
btw... they should really live together and see if they can last that before they marry... trust me, been in a 4 year relationship with a girl, all good, till she moved in... broke up in 6 months after the move.
2006-09-25 13:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by almostdeadman1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nine years and he STILL doesn't know if she's "The One"?!?! Give me a break! He should definitely know by now!
I think he's had plenty of time. If he's unsure about his future with her at this point, then perhaps she's not the one. Perhaps he doesn't love her enough to be with her permanantly. Only he knows his true feelings and intentions, but I'd say that by now...he'd definitely know for sure if she was the love of his life.
2006-09-25 14:19:38 · answer #7 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree if he doesnt know by then chances are he is the type that will never settle down, he seems like he likes to keep his options open - it could go both ways, he tries to keep his options open but noone compares to his girlfriend now, but for some reason he wont just admit it or he likes being free still and not tied down, i know it would be hard, but i would either have him make a decision (comon now, after 9 years you have to force an answer out) and go from there..if its not what i wanna hear, i might jist have to get out of that if i am looking for something else then what he is
2006-09-25 13:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, 9 years is a bit too long to be unsure about the relationship, maybe neither of them is interested
it took me 3 or 4 months to realise that the girl I liked was and is the one
2006-09-25 13:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya they well never get married. If he hasent decided buy now then he never will. Sounds to me like he wants to have hes cake and eat to. She need to get away from him, trust me on this one the time has come to find a real man that will amke a comtment.
2006-09-25 14:01:35 · answer #10 · answered by mermaid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋