I have been married for 5 years and have no kids.
I am now separated from my husband.
During our marriage, my husband never initiated or wanted to have sex with me. He was financially irresponsible, not pulling his weight as a partner in first two years of our marriage. We never had wedding (but we are married on paper) , no engagement ring. We had good times and many problems. I hate his family who are mean to me. My family hates him because they think he is not treating me as a wife. ( no sex etc.) Now we are going through marriage counsellor and counsellor is suggesting to give our marriage a chance. But it sort of makes me mad. He enjoyed sex before our marriage and as soon as we married it stopped. He said he doesn't know why. I don't know if counsellor can find out why. How does my counsellor think this can work out? right now there is no chemistry or loving feeling towards my husband due to feeling of rejection, lonliness, abandonment etc. Should I give another chance?
2006-09-25 06:24:57 · 16 answers · asked by whattodo898 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give the counseling a try, at least a few months. That way at least you will feel you did everything you could. If he is going to counseling, that's a good sign. He needs a physical checkup, after that it's the counselor who can hopefully help. Sometimes men stop the sex after constant arguments over not enough sex, that happened to me. I felt unloved and very angry. A loving attitude and totally dropping all conversations about sex and focusing on the good vastly improved things. By the way, if it stopped immediately after marriage and never happenned again I would wonder if he was gay. Good luck.....
2006-09-25 06:39:14 · answer #1 · answered by happyendingsonly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi! i can imagine n feel what ur going through. n i wanna tell u that counsellors are the people who just guide u to the right way. n i think that u just donot need a counsellor fr this matter. u got to be strong . be urself n just sit quietly close ur eyes n make sure that there is no disturbance arround u. ask ur inner self what do u really what . look marriage is a compromise . no ones perfect . even me , u ok. but they are certain things which must be b/w partners. ie love n sex . understanding. respect to each others feelings . n remember u just get life fr not being in rejection ,abandonment or lonliness. its ur life now . if ur husband is not gettin u what u want ok, man! what kind of husband is he. u r marriend to him fr 5 yrs . just ask urself after so much adjusting are u gettin what u want. at the same time hv u ever asked him why does't he feel like havin sex. does he hv any medical prbs which he does'nt what to tell u or any other reason. ask urself , the true lady sittn inside u . ask god n i bet u'll get answer. ur the one who has to decide.caz u r d one whose suffering. ask urself what good thinks uve'got by marrying this guy n what u'll not get if u leave him . i hope u get throug this . may GOD be always be with u. astalisvista babay!
2006-09-25 13:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by nicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Why on Earth would you have married him in the first place? There is no intimacy, no respect, no extended family...
Why did you volunteer for this in the first place? If you tell me that "you didn't know" I am going to respond that either you are lying and you did know but were pretending it was different or that you could change it.
Or you didn't take the time to get to know him before you committed ther REST OF YOUR LIFE to him.
Because there are no kids involved I am going to ask you this...
Obviously you made a mistake here. You know it was a mistake or you wouldn't be here. Why, why are you still pretending that it is something else? How much more of your life are you going to commit to this mistake?
2006-09-25 13:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you 2 live together before marriage? Curious, because I know of many sexually bored marriages but only after the marriage. I think it is the new found ability to notice other things, pet peeves and such. I do think that you should leave thought. A counselor may be able to tell you 2 what to do to fix the relasionship, but you both need to be willing to fix it: and you don't sound willing...
2006-09-25 13:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, if he hasnt tried in 5 years,why would you wanna risk wasting 5 more.You dont have any kids,so try living the single life for a while.I promise you that youll enjoy it and maybe find some great sex with someone else.
2006-09-25 13:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take this anyway you want. I was almost dead due to a botched surgrey. Life is TOO SHORT to be UNHAPPY.
If there are no children in this marriage - move on - find someone who will love you to pieces and you can love back.
I have my true love now - we will be married for 10 years in June. Let me tell ya, I have never been so happy in my life.
You did try - but girl.......why go through life - MISERABLE? Don't you want to be happy and loved?
Good Luck~
2006-09-25 13:30:38 · answer #6 · answered by WhatNext 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I would say yes, take another chance. But you have had 5 years of his getting his act together. Move on.
2006-09-25 13:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by Trollhair 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO just move on, there is too much resentment that could take years to work through. Your husband sounds like he is profoundly depressed. He needs the counseling, not you.
2006-09-25 13:28:08 · answer #8 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a dumb question. if youre not happy, end it! find someone who will treat you right and love you in every way and GO TO WORK
2006-09-25 13:28:04 · answer #9 · answered by missangelica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. You made a promise.
2006-09-25 13:26:59 · answer #10 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋