I have a gf in okayama, and I need to see her. I found a good price on a plane ticket, but it is during christmas, and my canadian parents say that we should stay together on christmas. But I need to go home and see her. I would rather see her than my canadian family.
Please help me convinse to them this.
PS: I havent told them I have a gf because I am too shy
2006-09-25 06:08:49 · 6 answers · asked by Japan_is_home 5 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Japan
I am 17 and I am paying
2006-09-25 06:19:58 · update #1
why are you shy to tell your canadian parents that you have a gf in Japan? if she really is worth flying over to japan for christmas, i think she should be someone you're proud of telling your parents about. close your door for an hour to list some reasons why you're shy to tell your parents, then think over about it again whether they really are worth being shy about. then list some reasons why you shouldn't be shy about telling them (reasons why you love her, why you want to be there for her) and affirm yourself. then practice your lines and set a time to sit down with your canadian parents to negotiate.
now parents can be a bit sensitive about you spending christmas with them, so do plan to first make them happy. christmas doesn't have to be celebrated on the day (let's be real here, jesus wasn't born in the bleak mid winter december eve but sometime in a scorching mideastern may or june). plan a memorable christmas celebration before your trip to japan and make your canadian parents feel like a king and queen. invite them to dream about it and look at it as something to look forward to.
key: listen! you must listen to them as they must listen to you. ask that you have uninterrupted time to explain. gently answer interruptions with "look, it only takes me a couple of minutes to get to my point, please let me finish, and then you will have your turn to talk." then deliver what you promise: listen with undivided attention. resist the temptation to answer back if you hear something you don't agree with--wait for them to finish and get to their point, then when it's your turn to talk you can address it. repeat the process until you get to a common ground.
good luck!
2006-09-25 06:23:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mizz G 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I can answer this from a parent's perspective. Money and costs aside, for most things my sons want to do I base my decision on their current and past track records. If they have been showing and displayng behavior that warrants and desrves what they are asking for, then the decision to say yes is easier.
If my sons were to want to go to another country to visit a girl I would look into the past and see if they have displayed good judgment and decision making. Or are they often making bad decisions and not learning from them. Given that they are capable of good decisions, it is easier to say yes. Next is the money factor. What is the value to the trip or activity? Is there some sort of tangible or intangible yet positive return or benefit to my son(s)? Or is the cost just too much for something that has little value or return? After all we are talking about a trip to Japan and not a Linkin Park concert.
Also, at 17, I would find allowing my kids to travel un accompanied a diffcult case to approve. Behavior aside, what provisions are there to lend assistance in case of the unforseen events or mishaps? We don't plan on it, but stuff happens. At 17 you may not have the resources to dig your way out of a problem, thus you will need the support of someone who does.
When it comes down to it, as a parent I should already know the question and answer because I have been keeping up a good relationship with my sons and we would have already discussed the idea before it was a possibility. If that relationship is not already there, then the answer for the trip becomes easy, the answer will probably be a negative answer.
2006-09-26 06:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by wuzaracer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look, dude. I traveled 9,000 miles to be with a lady. Just this year, in fact.
She broke up with me a week after I came back.
I was lucky because I had just gotten a bonus and I could afford the trip. You're 17, broke, and you have a family.
If you stay fixated on seeing this girl for the holidays, you're going to have to make gigantic sacrifices. And frankly, I don't think a high school-aged girlfriend is worth that. In fact, I don't think any person below the age of 30 is worth that.
You're both still young and your lives are going to change a lot in the coming years. And trust me, young people change like the wind. Young women even moreso.
I had the exact same feelings as you when I was 17. I was living in the US and totally into a girl in Osaka. I finally came back to Japan at 21, and the girl had turned into a complete super-freak.
Anyway, if you skip out on your family for the holidays to see a girl in Japan, nothing good is going to come of it. I'm warning you in advance. Yes, it sucks, but it's one of those things you just have to deal with.
(Postscript: I was single for a few months after that trip, and then met an even cooler girlfriend who's smart, independently wealthy and awesome in the sack. Okayama is not the end of the world for you, dude.)
2006-09-26 04:50:47 · answer #3 · answered by Taro Shinsei 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you left something out one of which is your age and who is paying for the trip
2006-09-25 13:18:20 · answer #4 · answered by norsmen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking her parents will be even more suprised!
2006-09-26 01:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by michinoku2001 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
BE AN ADULT AND SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF
2006-09-25 13:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋