If I want to get revenge on someone,is it best to take my time and end up wreaking the maximum havoc possible?Does revenge give us "closure",therefore allowing us to "be free" and move on?
2006-09-25 06:00:58 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Not best eaten cold, but best served up cold.
2006-09-25 06:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Revenge is a dish best served cold" in that if you let your anger or temper cool, you will think more calmly and clearly. Yes, your revenge will be better planned and will be more pointed in its attack and wreak more havoc, however closure, being free and moving on are different issues. Many people have been at the execution of the murderer of their loved one and didn't feel any closure because their loved one wasn't returned to them. Sometimes revenge and the planning of it becomes a burden that gives no freedom even after it's carried out. Moving on can only be done when you have dealt with the offense in your on mind. Sometimes the best revenge is just forgiving, forgetting and walking away. "Smile at your enemies. It will drive them crazy."
2006-09-25 06:13:12 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some would say that the best revenge is living well ...
Nonetheless there are a few people on my Vengeance List and they are there for very good reasons - i.e. that they misused/abused their power over me and over other people and will continue to do so until stopped.
An effective revenge doesn't hurt anybody other than the person who hurt you, and it doesn't hurt you either. It also 'feels fair' - that is, the balance is set right and the playing field levelled. Wreaking vengeance in the heat of the moment usually means that one isn't thinking straight and it leads to hurting innocent people and/or making yourself more vulnerable.
So - wait, think, consider what you really want ... and if you're lucky the person on whom you wish to revenge yourself will do something spectacularly stupid and you can sit back and laugh. I had one person on my 'hit list' and the silly so-and-so complained that he hadn't been given the honour that he thought he'd been promised ... and drew far more flak than ever I could have mustered by myself.
2006-09-25 06:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by mrsgavanrossem 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is one of the worst things a human can plan. Revenge does not give you closure, it only adds more problems in your life. You will not be free, if you plan Revenge. You can not move on happily, if you have just carried out Revenge. Give the plan of Revenge to God. Ask God to take the Revenge and do away with it. OR pretend that your gonna bury the Revenge. I will gaurantee you, that if you carry out the sinful act of Revenge, you will live the rest of your life, in misery.
Keep your mind occupied on happiness and Love and not Revenge. Good Luck. Take care and may God bless you and yours, Always.
2006-09-25 06:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, revenge is a dish best served cold!
It gives you instant gratification and then doesn't matter after that!
I wouldn't say it gives you closure because if it makes you bother to serve a revenge dessert then it must have hurt deep.
You are only necessarily free from something like humiliation / hurt when you can forgive yourself for being in that situation or allowing that to happen to yourself.
It's a matter of pride, swallow that and your'e home free!
2006-09-25 06:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lorraine R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is sweet but like all sugary things they give only momentary pleasure and may wreak havoc on the body in the long term - the by word here is forgiveness!!!! Its tough - but its definitely the way to go if you want closure ! Go one better and be kind to your "someone" shock their socks off !! it takes great courage and strength but you'll definitely feel better for it !
2006-09-28 08:39:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when and however revenge is taken is very much a subjective premise. Personally, I have waited and taken pains over the form and timing of the act of revenge. That way it becomes a sutble act and one that the intended victim might not expect. Sometimes just thinking and planning bring so called closure.
2006-09-25 08:47:56 · answer #7 · answered by CHRISTINE G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is just my take on revenge but here is a little story of revenge that all I had to do was sit back and watch the story play out.
Usually we as people create all the havoc needed in our lives to make ourselves miserable. And as far as closure - that takes forgiveness within yourself. You don't have to be friends with the person once you have forgiven them because you are not doing this for them you are doing it for you.
Me and my ex decided we no longer like each other - got a divorce and I got custody of my son (this is after many years of beatings). A few years later he went after custody and won and then I took him back and got my son back with me. Of course, this is just the short story.
I have been made aware of the fact that his new wife beats him up and is always threatening to take their daughter away from him. Recently he had a heart attack and because of the way he has treated our son, he will not even speak to his bio-father and is currently waiting to turn 18 so that his step-father can adopt him and he can take the Jr off his name leaving his father without a son.
In my head this is nothing short of Carma. I have forgiven him for what he has done to me and I have put my son in counseling to help him do the same, however he has his fathers temper and wants nothing to do with this man.
2006-09-25 06:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's best thrown out with the scraps. The best form of 'revenge' is to just move on, honestly. And if I was a vengeful person I certainly wouldn't want to store up all that negativity for too long before taking 'action' it doesn't serve any purpose, it just makes you feel more and more angry. Closure comes when you just accept what happened, process it, learn from it and move on. It doesn't mean you allow the person who hurt you to do it again, it just means you release yourself from the feelings that came with it.
2006-09-25 06:06:27 · answer #9 · answered by Eden* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is best to wait--then you appear to have less motive when the police get involved. How about "Living well is the best revenge?" Honestly, revenge is just giving the offending party more attention than they really deserve. They get more out of it than you do because they know that they really got under your skin. They also get to tell their friends how petty and childish you were being and make you look downright pathetic. Screw closure! be free right now!
2006-09-26 16:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best revenge is when you better yourself than when you are with the person who caused you pain and suffering. This is not served cold, but filled with warmth...
Warmth for loving yourself by not allowing others to destroy who you are and by not being consumed with hatred and mischief...
If you improve yourself instead of getting your hand on the perfect revenge, then the offender wont have that satisfaction knowing he or she has not hurt you at all! And you, surely will have the last laugh!
2006-09-25 09:45:13 · answer #11 · answered by Joy RP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋