My best friend, (who lives 1300 miles away from me, thinks she's gay, and is a little obsessed with me, and has Adult ADD) will not leave me and my fiance alone! I moved to a different city, with my fiance almost a year ago, and just recently found out we were pregnant. I know that my friend is just trying to be friendly, and keep in touch, and check in, but over the weekend, she called 22 times! Half of the time she calls it's for no reason, just to "talk", but we both (me and my fiance) like to relax on the weekends, and it's difficult when the phone rings off the hook. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but this has got to stop! She's very sensitive, and gets defensive when she asks why I don't answer the phone when she calls, and I just tell her we are very busy, getting ready for the baby, and trying to use the weekend to relax. I have no idea what to do to remedy this. Any ideas?
2006-09-25 05:31:31 · 14 answers · asked by Tami G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It isn't easy but you need to be honest and straight forward with your friend. Don't make any excuses as you don't need to and don't tell any lies. Just tell her that t makes you uncomfortable when she calls so often. Maybe ask her if there is something you can do to help her with her life right now, and I would be honest that you are concerned about her, but she needs to make some new friends and you will be happy to encourage her but she has to respect you enough to give you the space that you and your husband need right now. Anyway I had a similar situation and I was just straight up honest, didn't give him a chance to turn it around on me as I was prepared for that. I just said think about what I said and get back to me only when I you can accept my boundaries and respect that my wife and I need space without him calling every other day. It worked out fine and we are still friends but we only talk a few times a year right now. He moved to Aruba got marries, and has a little child of his own now. Good luck.
2006-09-25 05:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by Yahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like this do not respond well to obvious hints. She is manipulating you through guilt. Don't give in to it! You are just going to have to be straight with her and risk hurting her feelings. Tell her that you are in a new phase of your life and you and your husband are starting a family now and so its time for you to focus on that and you may not have as much time as you used to, to spend talking to her. (Or you could just get an unlisted phone number.) But you'll have to be firm with her. And don't be upset if she gets mad and says she will never speak to you again. That's common behavior for people like her.
2006-09-25 05:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, your friend can't lt go of the friendship youused to have with her. How about a compromise? juss tell her that you'll call her twice a week and she'll call you twice a week. that gives you five days out of the week where you can relax with ur man. tell her that you have your own life now, and there are some times where you want to live it with your man and upcoming baby. but that doesnt mean you'll forget about her, and that one of these days, she'll come visit you and vise versa. also, she's prolly haning on to you cuz she's confused about her sexuality, and you're a security blanket of some sort.
2006-09-25 05:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by luscious_ladie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call her estaiblish that you are going thru a "rough time" rest wise stress ,new body changes etc. that you need two times a week to touch base with her and see whats new with her when you can talk uninterurped aka for 10 or 15 min.tops if you confront her now it will be all about you . swicth this pattern on her or reget it latter._this girl is living thru you she has toooooooooooo much info about you and your deal. make her talk about what SHE is doing , whats going on in her little world, she wants to be you based on all that information you have givin her, make her be her own person.she is a personailty -hore.
2006-09-25 05:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by boatman l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds more like an obsessive stalker than a friend!
It's time for your fiance to step in and make her leave you alone. You, his pg fiance who does not need this stress & worry.
2006-09-25 05:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Email her...write her. Tell her how you feel. Friends are always honest with eachother. She might respect you more. If shes a good friend, she will understand, if not, well..time to find a new bestfriend. Being pregnant...gets very irritable...and I KNOW whats its like to have that friend buggn all the time. Talk to her...just tell ehr how you feel..
2006-09-25 06:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by She 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the dr told u that u need more rest and that u need more sleep so not to call all the time u will call her
2006-09-25 05:35:23 · answer #7 · answered by blwatson41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONGRATS ON THE BABY, IS IN ORDER. ASK HER TO HAVE SOME UNDERSTANDING ON YOUR PART, AND THAT
YOU WOULD DO THE SAME. TELL HER THAT IT IS PUTTING A STRAIN ON YOU THE BABY AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, YOU NEED YOUR REST. JUST FOR A WHILE.
ALL OF THIS SHOULD BE DONE IN A MILD MANNER WAY.
SO SHE KNOWS YOU ARE MAKING A CHANGE OF PEACE.
2006-09-25 05:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by M R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a real problem and you need to be firm with this woman. You are doing her a favour even if her feelings are temporarily hurt.
2006-09-25 05:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the biotch to STEP OFF!
2006-09-25 05:35:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋