My BF and I have been together for a few years now. We have a 6 yr old daughter together. I love him. I have grown not to like him. He isolates himself, doesn't talk to me ignores me, is lazy, univolved as a parent. It's pretty much all about him. I am to the point that I give up. I can't take the hurt any more. Why is it so hard to leave someone that makes me unhappy? Why does love have such control over our lives?
2006-09-25 05:05:11 · 11 answers · asked by casearas 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It would be easy if you didn't love him, but that is why love is hard. You have to think about what he brings to your life. The good and the bad. Forget you love him a minute and think about the other issues. Postivies vs negative
2006-09-25 05:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a big fan of soul searching.... in this case, I would guess it is not love that is keeping you, but something else.... fear (perhaps of being alone or fear that you are giving up too soon,) ego, financial considerations, or a thought that it is better to stay with your child's father.... or a combination.
No one should be unhappy. However, have you given him an opportunity to change? Perhaps he is unaware of your needs or your hurt. Perhaps he is depressed. Do you judge him and drive him to silence? Is he overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a father?
Please, before you give up, do your best to create an open and trusting relationship. He may be hurting too! You will gain much by working hard at keeping your family together.
On the other hand, if he really is just selfish and immature, you must take your life into your OWN hands. Don't blame staying on love. You can love someone and know you don't belong together.
Good luck.
2006-09-25 05:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by Fresa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a comfort zone for you.......even if it is not what you pictured your life to be and defiantly not what you pictured love to feel or be like. Sometimes the unknown is more frightening. Change is scary. You can predict what is going to happen in your life and we are creatures of habit, when we have a routine in life it can be hard to change it. You have to know that even though things may be hard if you leave, it will get better. For some this realization takes longer.....I should know it took me 10 years to feel strong enough to leave my relationship with 2 children. It is hard and not an easy thing to do, but in life the things we need to do are not always the easiest. Be strong and be there for your child. Good luck
2006-09-25 05:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's because you identify yourself as part of a couple and a family now, not as yourself. you have to start thinking of you and your child, gradually it will become easier to face the world as a two-some instead of a 3-some. he sounds like such a jerk that I'd just focus on that and getting your plans in place for your move. get some money saved and start your paperwork for his financial support, he will be paying child support for a while so don't mess around, get things lined up as best you can before he starts making things harder for you. then one weekend when he's least expecting it, maybe when he's gone, move out.
You should start fresh and leave him in the dust, sure you may have to see him for child visitations, but just keep it simple and straight forward, no big arguments during that exchange, just make it about the child seeing their other parent, for her sake!
don't speak negatively, just answer her questions honestly and with caring and soften the facts a bit. try to make him realize that he needs to show her some caring or she will not want to know him, and if he doesn't then it's going to be sad.
you'll probably find someone who had the reverse happen to them and you two can start a better family together. it will take some time to heal, but hold onto your self value and don't let him drag you down any longer!
Stay strong and Best Wishes:)
2006-09-25 05:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by rooster2381 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that alot of times people have a hard time giving up someone who makes them miserable is because they are scared.People are afraid to see what is on the other side of the fence or what is behind the closed door.It will be ok.Once you take the first step you will see that things are not so scary on the other side of the fence or behind the closed door.Goodluck
2006-09-25 05:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Gin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it sucks, i'm leaving my girl friend of 4 years. But you just have to be strong and realize tht your life is not over and there are people out there that are better for you. You know there is or otherwise you wouldn't want this break up.
2006-09-25 05:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you share a life changing experience, a child.
you want him in your childs life and are hoping he will come around. His beavior tell me he feels trapped in a relationship he didn't want but he feels an obligation to the child so he sticks around. he thinks that being there is all he needs to do to be a father.
sounds like you need some marrage counseling.
2006-09-25 05:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have a fear of being alone. Do what is right for you. It will be lonely but soon you will be strong and independant. You have to really want it to leave him if not you will be back with him in no time and that is unhealthy.
2006-09-25 05:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Killing Somebody
2016-03-27 08:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't help who we love. I guess at some point in the relationship you thought you could change him.
2006-09-25 05:07:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋