We've been together 12 or so years, married 11, don't have sex more than once every couple of months. He is hard working, does housework, is supporitve. I am sexually attracted to a friend of our family and desiring him!
2006-09-25 04:58:10 · 14 answers · asked by Roxy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u basically live with ur best friend and thats that.
but u know what i have a strong feeling he loves u.
go for some counselling and see if u can work it out b4 u cheat on him.
thats a mistake once u made it u cant go back no matter how much u cry and plead.
trust me.
2006-09-25 05:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have kids, understand that kids are very important. If you don't, then take to your husband. Try and figure out what happened to the spark you did have and if he is supportive enough, he will do what is right.
If you are attracted to this friend of yours and have already been unfaithful to your husband, that might complicate matters but that may also get you out faster. If you have not done any such thing, then how do you know your friend wants you. Don't just throw out 12 years just because you don't have enough sex with your husband - there has to be more than just sex in the relationship that you need to keep.
2006-09-25 05:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by kettlechipsdude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You realize that your initial "love" was lust, and that what you feel now for your friend si the same lust that will eave you just as disappointed and empty later if you pursue it.
You also realize that your definition of your life and how it should be was based on outwardly acceptable ideals, and your relationship/intimacy was nt built on the preciousness you saw in the other person as an individual (in your own eyes) but as a measure of how he fit up to the social ideals you felt pressured to uphold and measured your self-worth by how closely your life could reflect them......
Your understanding of love is showing itself to you as shortcoming. Perhaps you've never experienced it after all?
You did a cardboard marriage- looks good outside, but you didnt yet understand what marriage or love was to mean to you, or more specifically, what HEEEE meant to you and thus why you should or should not have married him......
I dont know what else to say, besides "ponder that"....
no harm intended, of course.....;)
2006-09-25 06:45:25 · answer #3 · answered by Yentl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually rhonda, you love your husband but your physical drive have blocked it just because you don't have sex with him more often so you lose that excitement inside you. Maybe both of you have little time with each other to share those sweet and giggling moments you had from the past... Well, all I can say is that you start all over again, arrange a special date for both of you or surprise him sometimes.. Just like those old times when you were still lovers.. hmmmm... isn't it nice to remember those moments?
2006-09-25 05:08:39 · answer #4 · answered by charing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Wow" I would say you're just felling lust for this friend of the family. It's perfectly normal and you shouldn't be ashamed every one has fantasies and wonders what it would be like. If you been married this long I would say their has to be something to it!! Try making love to you're husband more often. You know try to play around a little. If you make love more often this felling you're having just might go away you know in the back of you're mind you could pretend it's the family friend Just don't say his name out loud!!! I Really think you should at least make love as much as possible it's a necessity believe me!!!
2006-09-25 05:12:39 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the friend. Put your desire for him away. Believe me, please please believe me. If you act on this, you will FOREVER regret it. You will destroy SO much in your life. Just forget about this guy, work on your marriage in the areas you feel needed and get back what you have lost in your marriage. You have a husband that works hard, helps around the house and is supportive. All the things that all women want in a man. Your going to give that up for what? A desire?? Flush it! Don't do it.
2006-09-25 05:40:28 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. Don't cheat on your husband. It's not going to be worth it.
If you want more sex and your husband is willing, tell him you'd like it more often or try new stuff to entice him.
If he's not willing (where mine is at this point) then you have another problem on your hands. However, don't cheat. Leave your marriage if you must, but don't have an affair.
2006-09-25 05:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling is the best route to take. You seem to respect your husband too much to disrespect him by cheating. As for the family friend you secretly desire; try to picture him in a negative light, mentally.
2006-09-25 05:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I know that I want to be the one to give my wife what she wants. I don't want to be nagged, or reminded of how I messed up and didn't give her what she needed. I don't think you want to give up your marriage for sex instead of love. I think going to counseling is very help full, you just need something that will bring you closer and make you both happy that you are together!!
2006-09-25 05:48:08 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are using that as an excuse to go out of your marriage. rekindle the love you had when you first met. do things and say the things that you said when you first fell in love.. leave the other guy alone.
2006-09-25 05:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋