My co-worker needs help b4 its too late.....?

Question

My co-worker really needs help,but i don't know how to.He works with me,on opposite shifts,at a small engineering company.We operate on shifts and there are two men on each shift.The problem is that i have noticed that his work is not up to standard and i am left to pick up the slack ,when i finally confronted him he confessed to me that he has gay desires on the fellow who is on his shift,the fellow on his shift is openly gay.
He has confessed to me that hes had these desires for quite some time .But hes married,although his wife is not a looker,and has 9 children(ages 6 mths to 15) and a strong Catholic.I have pleaded with him not to do anything about these desires, but its having no effect,cause it could ruin his marriage and break his childrens hearts.He says that it would only be a one off but i am frightened he takes a liken too it...How do i get him to stop this cause as i have already said that i have spoken too him until i am blue in the face .Hes also a good mate

Answer 1

i agree with jeff. if he prefers it up the jobby box that's his lookout. tell him to get on with his work the **** bandit.

Answer 2

Too late? For whom? For you to re-think what "a good mate" means?

You are aiding the reinforcement of his insecurities him by covering up for him. You say that he is "a good mate", so why does he allow you to pick up the slack? This is an inherent contradiction. A good mate would listen to your pain of having to pick up his slack, then pick up his own slack, NOT give you excuses.

He has problems, HIS problems. He didn't ask you to shoulder them, so DON'T shoulder them. Stop covering up for him because the longer you cover up for him, the longer he procrastinates about facing his problems.

You cannot control his behaviour, but you can definitely control yours. The first thing you need to do is to tell him that you are no longer covering up his slack work. It is not fair for you, but it is you who is choosing this. He is paid to do his job, and you are paid to do your job. It is NOT fair for him to be paid in full, for doing only a part of his job, and you to be doing the remainder of his job and not be paid for it at all.

The only person who can control his future, is him. You have ZERO control over someone else. You only have influence. You have said what you have wanted to say until you are "blue in the face" so move out of the way, and let him make his own choices. Stop agonising over his future, and make your future the correct future for you by doing your work better instead of wasting your valuable time covering up for "a good mate".

Answer 3

I'm sorry but you can not stop someone once their mind is made up. Just be there for him when everything falls apart, and if you know his wife she will be in deep pain more than you could imagine, please help his family get through it.

Answer 4

get him to think of his children, his parents and anyone else who is holding him up to a high standard.

that and he couldn't possibly afford the child support and a new life on his own.

Answer 5

You old devil. You're a wee bit of a story teller aren't you?

Answer 6

yes he needs counselling

Answer 7

too late...