My Fiancee hit me and I don't know what to do?

Question

To give you context: I was mad at him and I hit him in the back of the head. Not that hard but I still hit him, he turned around and knocked the wind out of me. We have 2 kids together under the age of 5 and they were both around. We had been bickering back and forth throughout the evening. I don't know what to do. He has apologzed and said it will never happen again. I know I hit him first and I have quite a temper but I think this was crossing the line. I'm so confused I don't know if we should try to work this out or just call it quits. He has never hit me in the past, but he has pushed me and grabbed my arms so hard to the point where he has left a bruise. This happened maybe 1 or 2 times in the 5 years we have been together. Our 6th anniversary is to be in November.
Any insights are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Answer 1

what good would it do to leave him, you would just get someone else, and hit him , in the back of the head, because you have a temper. so the solution seems to be to control that temper. yes he shouldn't have hit you, but you hit him first. you need to learn to control your self , especially in the view of the children.life doesn't have to be so bad. make up your mind that you will calmly discuss problems, when you both are alone, and remember you love each other. do you treat someone you love like this? mutual respect will get you a long way.he has apologised, so accept it and go on.

Answer 2

Violence should not be the factor in any relationship and it is something that I would not wish on anybody because it not only affects you but when kids are involved, it affects them. I think that you should separate from him and maybe y'all should get some help and see if it is really worth staying together. If he hits you once no matter if its just a little bruise, it is possible that he would do it again and cause worse damage. Five years is a long time but not being able to be around your kids and see them grow if he does something worst to you, would be a lifetime. Get some help and I hope that the both of you could work this out. Good luck and GOD bless.

Answer 3

First kids do learn from there parents. It sounds like he started out small and has gone up a step. That is what most abusers do. It is to see how much you will take. Ask him to go and see someone for his anger and maybe the two of you should see someone together. As for you hitting him first yes it was something that you shouldn't of done but knocking the wind out of you wasn't right either. It wasn't good that the children saw what was going on. When anger is not kept in check then it can really do damage to a lot of people.

Answer 4

There's something bigger going on here. You've been together five years and you're still not married? If you have two kids, live together and have shared financial responsibilities, there's shouldn't be a reason for you not to be married. BUT, I think you're not because you know you both have tempers. If you truly love each other, and your children, you will both go and get anger management counseling. Children pick up on your behavior, and will eventually do the same things in their future relationships. Is this what you want? Respect yourselves, and your children, enough do something about this now. He may not have hit you before, but he has been physical and has hurt you. Before you go any further, you both should get counseling...figure out why you have to be physical with one another and what to do about it.

This is a very unhealthy situation for everyone, especially your kids.

Answer 5

if my wife did what you did I won't be mad or anything It would be my fault for mad her mad. But I don't knock my wife out of the wind wow.

He is done. Leave him and He said won't happen again it will believe me. I don't care how long the anniversary or anything. For what he did he knows that he shoudln't hit a woman period. that why I learn not to hit woman.. Yeah, I know you were pissed and hit not that hard but still I will not hit.

I see what men did to my mom and dad did to me and other people and I learn that knock a woman like that whoa. hell no way. You not cross the line what happen is that you try to find or mad for not listen to you or something and you fianlly had it up t o heere so you hit him not that hard but damn. leave him and make sure he begg you so much for changes and tell him to take angry mangment and that you will go too if not then end it. It not about anniversary it about "NO MAN SHOULD HIT WOMAN OR CHILD OR CHILDREN!" PEROID." He is no man ever.... period.

Answer 6

Hunny...this guy is bad news. It's unfortunate for you and your kids that he is even around. I think things will only get worse and escalate...any REAL man knows you don't grab, push, throw, or hit women...it takes a really weak person to hit a woman. To give you an example of a good guy...my boyfriends ex girlfriend hit him with a baseball bat in the head...and he didn't lay a finger on her, despite the fact that she sent him to the hospital (he fell through a glass table). I don't care if you hit him first....a man should NEVER, ever hit a woman. I can't believe some people on here are saying "oh didn't you expect it back?"....come on people (sure she shouldn't have hit him but....)! Hitting a woman with a couple of kids? You've got to be a low life.

Answer 7

It was probably just a reflex for him to hit you back. But a man should treat you with respect and in the Biblical Studies of Women, the Code of Honor. A man should never hit a woman, no matter the circumstances. Nor should he put his hands on you, grab, push, etc. I think you pretty much know what to do. You do not need anyone input. I do not think thats what you want to teach your kids. That its okay to hit mommy.

Answer 8

Sounds like the both of you need anger management. You shouldn't have hit him, but he shouldn't have hit you back! He should have walked away. Your kids will forever suffer seeing this in their lives. I know. I lived with an abusive father. I watched him beat my mother over and over again, for over 30 years. Your kids, like me, will take responsibility for this. It will be with them forever. You two are the adults here. Act like an adult! This kind of behavior is unacceptable. Get some anger management help ASAP. Abuse is abuse. You both are abusing each other. I don't care if he left bruises on you only ONCE, it is WRONG!! Your hurting your kids. Both of you are hurting your kids! If things do not change in this relationship, then get out of it. Your kids deserve better. They did not ask to be brought into this world to watch their mother and father hit one another. Your teaching them that it is okay to hit another person. You will soon see that in them when they start school and you get phone calls that they hit another student or a teacher. And you have no one to blame but yourselves. I'm sure you DO NOT want that for your kids. Get some help, ASAP, or move out!!

Answer 9

Firstly, what were the contexts of the past incidents? Try remembering if you had done something similar then as well....

Physical abuse in a relationship is always a no-no.... But, I dont think anyone can give you a good solution as in the current case, u cheesed him off!

1. For example: anyone touching the back of my head cheeses me off! Whoever!
So, u got to take that kind of thing into account!!

But if he is normally abusive, I think you have your answer! If not, then too you have your answer!

:-)
All the best!
AB

Answer 10

You both need counseling !
When you reach a point where you are abusive to each other, than you you no longer have any respect for each other. If you hit someone, than you can expect to get the same back.
You both have issue's that need addressing whether you stay together or not.