I've seen a lot of conversation from gay men/women who says that they can't be in a relationship with a person who is bisexual. They say that they wouldn't want to risk being heart broken by a person who could 'jump the fence'. This mentality is odd to me because it suggests that the gay person would not be heart broken if their lover ended the relationship for another gay relationship but they would be if the relationship was hetrosexual. It's as if the impression is that gay men/women are more committed than bisexual ones. I can understand gay men/women fearing the lust issue that many bisexuals carry (myself included); I can understand gay men/women feeling that mentality detrimental to the popular opinion gays and promiscuity. I'm curious about this issue. What is the fear or dislike gays have towards bisexualism? Or is there one at all?
2006-09-25 04:24:17 · 13 answers · asked by Honey 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with a bisexual man. Neither of us have a fear of the other dissolving the relationship to be with a member of the opposite sex as we both are ONLY physically bisexual.
This topic interests me because from conversation, it would seem that the idea is that when a person enjoys relationships with both sexes he/she will similtaneously want to with both sexs, ignoring the committment of the relationship. So then, does that mean that bisexuals can't be in committed relationships whereas outright gays can? As ignorant as it may be, growing up, this is the same argument I heard about gays- that they're promiscuous and can't be in committed relationships. To me, it seems as the hate gays faced, they're dishing out to who should be brothers/sisters within the community.
2006-09-25 05:56:49 · update #1
When my ex and I would break things off she would always jump to a guy then come back to me, it was confusing, still is. I know she said it was easier to be with a guy because of where we live, but to me this is no reason. It is easier mentally on a person to stick to your guns, everything else gets confusing. Another thing, it's better to think that a person already knows what they want. This is just my experience from the confusion brought to me. It was hard to think about how I could compete, too. I think I would rather be with a pure lesbian, but there aren't many where I live or elsewhere in this world. I say good day.
2006-09-25 08:13:00 · answer #1 · answered by 4me2no&u2findout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its a fear that the bisexual person may have the urge to be with the opposite sex and that they wont be able to satisfy that urge.
I'm transsexual and all i can attract is bisexuals. at the same time i know that it wouldn't last because i wouldn't be able to control the urge for what i cant provide them.
this is just my 2 cents of course. but i think if a person is gay and with a gay person that fear is eliminated. its not saying that they wont get heart broken by someone else that's also gay. but that fear puts a strain on a relationship.
i too am bisexual and in my mind I'm afraid that if i were with a woman i would be unhappy because id have a desire to be with a man. that would cause un needed stress on the relationship.
2006-09-25 11:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by KellyJeanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as a bisexual man I have run up against it and it sucks.
G0ys don't have the same issues as gays do about sex with the opposite gender or even with our same gender. G0ys are not what you would call promiscuous but we are not as a rule monogamous either. In all of our relationships we have an open and honest assumption that the human heart is big enough to hold a lot of love and the Love I have for my mate is not lessened if I also love my good buddy or any of my good buddies. We see sex as a part of the male bonding process so not something to be jealous about. Since we don't do anal sex not a risk for disease so nothing to worry about there either. We don't have sex with just anybody we only have sex with our buds after a long drawn out process of developing a bond that can only go deeper by becoming sexual it may take months to get there it may only take weeks it depends on the people. I have seen it take years.
http://g0ys.org
2006-09-25 11:50:30 · answer #3 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
how can i compete against a guy. most bisexuals seem so hard to keep in a relationship because they crave both sexes they never seem happy with being with just one and there is always that little voice inside that makes you question how long it will be before they leave you for a guy.It's us for being paranoid and bisexuals for being happy with either. It's pretty F'd up huh?
2006-09-25 11:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good question and good answers, in my opinion. Another take, that i have found (being a woman) that they are marking time in a same sex "relationship" until "mr right" comes along. So it touches the human fear of not being enough/right.
2006-09-25 11:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by st.uncumber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Saying its Can't work Both ways, Most People Gay, Lesbian, Straight, they want to keep their Love Life Monogamius.
Most people think a threesome is a Form of Cheating, or Bigamy, Its Not If they Choose to have an Open Relationship/Marriage, then You should Ask If He is Bi-Sexual and She is Bi-Sexual too.
This Website will Help More.
2006-09-25 11:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by tfoley5000 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have to understand this aspect of gay men or woman, They feel that they have only one choice as to whom they can share their romantic side with, where as a bi-sexual is suppose to have multiple choices in that area. Also a gay person feels that they can not really be satisfied by someone of the opposite sex or have had some really bad experience with dealing with the opposite sex. Just remember that no one is born gay (No matter what they say or believe). Some action that has happen in their lives is what created that change in their sexually. So some where in their lives they feel that they have been betrayed by a mother, father, or friend or a stranger in some manner to have caused their change. Also remember that most changes by them were very traumatic along with their in-ability to deal with the situation, what ever it was. This is why this trust is hard to come by.
2006-09-25 11:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by kilroymaster 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Love is Love. If you are heartbroken because someone leaves you for someone else, regardless of their sex, gender, or orientation, then that person truly did not love you enough or love you at all. Love is a lifelong commitment. If it dies, then it really was not love in the first place, just a lot of lust and desire.
2006-09-25 12:42:51 · answer #8 · answered by sangheilizim 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say I fear it...but it's hard to be in a relationship where you can't even compete on 1 level...
2006-09-25 12:22:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people have issues with bisexuality becasue of the health risk / cleaniness factor, everyone is not as cautious ans they should be when having sexual relations.
2006-09-25 11:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by Nico 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋