We were together for 4 years, never married, no kids, lived together for 2 years. I broke up with him 3 weeks ago. I was upset with him for 9 months and felt like I gave him ample time to change. I was upset because (1) he lost his job and was living off of me (2) he ran up the phone bill (3) he befriended this girl who fell inlove with him & made my life hell (4) he became rude & selfish (5) he befriended another girl 2 months ago and won't stop talking to her. I kicked him out, but we still talk on the phone. Now, he got a new job, paid back some of the money for the phone, & tells me his miserable & lonely without me. I thought for sure he'd get with girl #2 after we broke up, but he didn't. He still talks to her & swears they're just friends. He never cheated on me. We did have over 3 wonderful years together. I told him that he just misses the apt and the convenience, but he says that's not it... he realizes how wrong he's been and he wants me back. I still love him.
2006-09-25 04:12:50 · 21 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What are you going to do when he does 1-5 again? What about the third time are you going to keep giving him chances tell he waists your entire life away?
2006-09-25 04:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sentient6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is unreal what I just read that you wrote. That is exactly what happened with my boyfriend and I but kind of different. I was the one that lost my job, didn't have one for 6 months, became extremely depressed. He also had a drug habit, but he was the one that owned the house. He kicked me out. I got a nice place on my own, got a good job etc, he started talking to a lot of girls. We then "realized" we missed each other. Things were great when we got back together, but I kind of felt better off without him. We were together for 3 years and 8 months. I lived with him for 3 years. I will admit that I will always love him and care about him. Now being on my own and such I do not believe he is right for me. I am 22 and he is 25. We are both mature for our age so it's not like we are kids. We spent every day together of those 3 years and 8 months we were together. I really do believe it is more of a convenience factor. You are always going to have that "feeling" for him or love for him, but personally I just think its because you were with that person for so long. I think its time for the both of you to move on. I have been away from him completely since the end of Decemeber. I have talked to him a few times since then, but nothing of the sort of getting back together. We both realize we are different, and are going to be with different people. I see him driving around, we work pretty close to one another so we do see each other on the road and stuff. I guess it is sort of a self control thing. That is just my personal opinion and story, so don't feel like you are alone. You have to go with your heart though. I am now renting a house, working full-time, and going to college full-time. Only you know the right decision. Good luck! Email me if you want more advice! (My screen name @yahoo.com)
2006-09-25 11:22:27 · answer #2 · answered by darcilynn83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WTF is up with some of these man-hating answers? First of all, YES a man can change when he WANTS to! Where there's a will, there's a way! So yes, there's a chance that he has changed, realized the error of his ways, and misses what he had before he left you. Second, he never cheated on you..supposedly anyway, that's a good sign... But still, you need to be on guard...You should keep some distance between you guys. Maybe not let him move in but go out again...start over...never know where it will take you...you did say you had over 3 wonderful years together...thats's a lot to throw away.
2006-09-25 11:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by Rivrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard because there is a lot of love involved...four years is a long time. But you need to take stock of your life first...ask yourself
Why do you still love him...is it because he is familiar to you?
Do you love him as he is now or as you once knew him...because people change and you may just still be in love with the person you once knew
...to his credit it does seem like he is working hard to get you back...so that is obviously worth something...because generally men do not try that hard unless they really want something.
Before you make any decisions decide what is best for you--and you alone. I'm sure you will make the decision that is right in the end, but don't jump too fast!
good luck
2006-09-25 11:19:35 · answer #4 · answered by vdubbchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Lets Say You Go Back With Him. Within 2 Weeks He Has Another Women In His Bed.
2006-09-25 11:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by mks 7-15-02 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have to wait longer than three weeks to see if anything has really changed. You deserve much better than that. Just the thing with the girl would be enough for me, never mind anything else. He should be miserable without you, you were the best thing that ever happened to him. Give yourself a chance at something better.
2006-09-25 11:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He looks like he's made the effort to change, but is it too little to late?! I think if you really love him then maybe give things another go but on your terms. Take things slowly and make sure he know's that if he puts a foot wrong again, that will be it forever. I think it took your breakup for him to realise how much you mean to him! Good luck and don't take any crap from him! x
2006-09-25 11:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably cheated on you sometime...i would never trust that he didn't and he won't again. he's selfish and needs someone to take care of him and give him constant attention. If you think you can accept all of that then get back with him. But remember, he's never gonna change that much.
2006-09-25 11:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by saveit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat always a cheat. Do not get into this trap by accepting him back. You took the action by kicking him out.
2006-09-25 11:17:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm... it seems like you answered your own question. Just because he has been on the straight and narrow for a few weeks doesn't mean he is a changed man. Make him wait longer. Otherwise he won't learn a damn thing.
2006-09-25 11:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by Oswald29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋