one thing she is pregnet and i think strongly that it is mine sometimes she agrees and mostly she doesnt i do love her for being up front with me and telling me about the other guy and i have more respect for her doing that then ever before cause most females wouldnot have done it she is due soon and got pregent in late febuary when i knew it was just me and her she think it happened in march my advice was lets just wait and see now the other guy thinks its his too but i dont think she said anything to him about it might not be so i feel there is going to be a big fallout in the near future i said i will stand by her side and support her decisions but now my question is if the child is mine and she doesnt tell him then what. if not i will still be with her but i will always have this situation on my mind what should i do i am forgiving and have forgave her for this cause the child had nothing to do with it. but we did plan to have one and maybe this one is it?
2006-09-25 04:08:52 · 20 answers · asked by dat nigga los 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't worry so much about the baby's parentage. Babies need a daddy regardless of where they came from, and it's not their fault.
Do you love her? Can you count on her to be faithful in the future?
If you can answer yes to BOTH of these questions, then marry her.
2006-09-25 04:12:35 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first question is...does she love you? Second question is...do you want to marry her because you love her? or because she is pregnant?
In all honesty, this relationship sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Your girl sounds as if she's being anything but honest with you or the other guy and is just stringing you both along until she knows who the father of the baby is. And then what? She'll dump whoever isn't?
I'd say back off from the relationship until you can know for sure whether the baby is yours or not. If it's not, walk away. If it is, be certain this other man isn't going to remain in the picture before you make any commitment to the mother. You can always take care of your child without having to remain entangled in a not too clear relationship with its mother.
And next time...get married before making plans to have children!
2006-09-25 04:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by joesgrl90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely SHOULD NOT marry her.
Marriage requires honesty, trust and fidelity, which you don't have with this girl. At the very least, you need to have a paternity test done to establish who the child's father is. If it's you, by all means meet your responsibility to the child, but don't marry the mother. If you insist on marrying her anyway, do not marry her unless you both go through pre-marital counseling. If you still want to have sex with her, make sure you both use some form of contraception so you don't find yourself in this situation again, or get a sexually transmitted disease.
There's no way to say this nicely, but neither one of you sounds mature enough to handle the responsibility of marriage.
2006-09-25 04:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a DNA test done before getting married. That way atleast you would feel better knowing the child is yours. My brother married a girl years ago that was pregnant with another man's baby. The marriage ended after 10 years. I'm not saying that would happen to you, but it's a possibiltiy. Get the test done first. Nice of you to forgive her, but are you sure she won't do this again??? Think all this through first....
2006-09-25 06:24:52 · answer #4 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need a poll to determine whether or not you want to marry your girl, then you're probably not ready for marriage. But I'll give you my sincere answer: after the baby is born, and the paternal results are determined, if you're not the father, see how you feel about marrying her. If you are 100% positive that you're gonna love her and the baby regardless of the outcome, then go for it. If not, then don't. Nothing worse than going into marriage with a heart full of resentment.
2006-09-25 04:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by dorky_goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that you shouldn't have to get our opinion on this one. This is a matter of the heart and soul. And if you are having 2nd thoughts about it....well then that should tell you something. Just wait and see...this situation might actually break you 2 apart. And then what are you going to do? Things are never for sure. Good luck.
2006-09-25 04:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my friend, its a very dicey situation. I know we all make mistakes sometimes but this is one of those things we don't normally wish for. All the same, if your girl really loves you end feels sorry for what she did, then why not.
U can make other babies if this one is not yours, but be sure you love her enough to forgive her so that this don't hunt you in future.
Also be sure you want to marry for the right reasons and not cos u want to help her or the baby, for you can still do same outside marriage.
Best of luck.
2006-09-25 04:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by Max 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like she cheated on you and now is pregnant and is not even sure if the child is yours or the other guy's. And you want to marry her? If she did it once, she'll do it again. Can you deal with that for the rest of your life? I think it's nice that you want to take care of this child but you need to make sure she takes responsibility for her actions and does not end up using you. Follow your heart but make sure your not hurting yourself in the end. Good luck!
2006-09-25 04:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by limeallure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good guy. Most guys, just finding out that there's a possibility that their chick could be prego by another guy, would have left her. Find out if the baby is yours first.
If the baby is yours and you stay with her: is she going to be faithful to you? She has cheated on you already. Why wouldn't she do it again?
If the baby isn't yours: Would you stay with her? You would have to deal with this guy, whom she cheated on you with, for the rest of you life.
My advice....sorry...would be that you shouldn't marry this girl. Just because she is going to have a baby isn't a reason to marry her. If she makes you happy and you make her happy, then you should. but if she cheated on you, then obviously she wasn't happy.
2006-09-25 04:17:25 · answer #9 · answered by kb'sgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait till the baby comes and then see how u feel.
if u really love her and have for given her with all ur heart then when the baby comes and u still feel the same way go ahead.
u r a good man to accept her mistake. best of luck
2006-09-25 04:15:20 · answer #10 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋