Should I sign a "do not resuscitate" agreement?

Question

My girl friend wants me to sign this. But I think she may have another agenda. She has been looking thriugh all my papers and bank stements.

She's a registered nurse. So she knows a lot about how to kill somebody.

Answer 1

You have a lot of issues and I will try to address them all.

Why is your girlfriend looking through all of your private papers. They are called private for a reason. However, are you engaged? Talking about marriage? If so, then you should know what she has and she should know what you have. You both bring various things into a marriage and you both should go in with your eyes open.

Why do you need a DNR? Are you going in for surgery? Is she telling you this because she sees a great deal of suffering in her job as a nurse? You mention that she knows a great deal because she's a nurse . . . do you think she is going to poison you?

Do you have a will? Without a will, she gets nothing unless she is the beneficiary on your bank accounts or other property. Under a will, your wife come first, then your children adn parents, and so on. Your girlfriend, fiance (even 1 minute before the wedding) gets nothing! (But do you have children together? If so, they could inherit and she'd probably be the trustee of any such inheritance.)

Consider a living will or a health care proxy. (Depending on your state, some recognize one, some the other, some both.) This allows someone to make decisions for you concerning medical treatment, life support, etc., if you can't. (Not that you are undecided, but that you can't due to your condition.) Who should be your representative or proxy? Someone you truct with your life and who won't make a decision based upon $$ they might get, but will make a decision based upon your morals and ethics, as you must discuss with them.

DNR or no DNR? Living Will or no living will? Health care proxy or no health care proxy? These are questions that go to the very core of your religious, moral and ethical beliefs. never sign one, unless it is consistent with your beliefs. If you go into cardiac arrest, do you want the hospital to try to revive you or let you go? If you have irreversable brain damage, do you want to be kept alive or shoudl someone pull the plug? Will you be a burden to others, or will your physical presence be a source of hope? A DNR order basically says don't do CPR, don't try those electric paddles, don't bring me back, no matter what. A living will says either let me go or keep trying to save me. (It can be written either way.) A health care proxy assigns someone else (a spouse, a parent, a sibling) to make this call when you are physically or mentally unable to.

Regardless of what you do concerning a DNR, living will or proxy, you should absolutely have a will. Provide that your property goes to whomever you want (not who the state wants).

Still confused? Good. That means you get it. I recommend speaking to close friends/relatives and see how they are handling these issues. Belong to a church? Speak to you minister, priest, reverend, rabbi, elder, etc. Know a lawyer? Speak to him/her. (He'll want to prepare these documents for you, but he will also know that they can be written in more than one way.) Speak to a doctor as to whether he/she thinks you need a DNR given your current state of health. (I'd speak to a doc who is not associated with your girlfriend, you want an unbiased opinion.)

In sum, you need to consider the nature of your relationship with this young woman and others (family, parents, children, etc.) and decide what you need. I strongly reccommend a will and a living will and/or a health care proxy). You might consider a DNR, but there are numerous factors that you should consider, starting with your ethical/moral beliefs and including why you want a DNR, who benefits, and is this what you want to do. Depending upon the nature of the relationship with your girlfriend, including if there are kids, if you plan on marrying her, how long you've been together, if you live together in a stat that recognizes common-law marrigaes, etc. you might consider a pre-nuptual agreement. You may or may not need one.

Answer 2

A dnr agreement is so that should you be injured and need resuscitation the medical people won't do it, a healthy young person should never sign such an agreement. When I worked at a nursing home a few of the residents had this because they were terminally ill and it was a decision they made to be comfortable with their mortality. Never let another person tell you this is what you need, let them make their own decision.
Talk about it with your doctor, we don't know enough details.

Answer 3

BE CAREFUL. There's a big difference between a living will and a do not resuscitate agreement. In a living will, you are giving a directive to physicians that they are not to put you on life support if you are incapacitated and two doctors believe that you will be in a persistent vegetative state (READ: You'll never get better and life support will only keep you alive). A DNR means they won't try to save your life if your heart stops beating for any reason. I have to wonder why she would want you to do that. Do you live with her? Is she named as the beneficiary of your estate in your will or is she the beneficiary on your life insurance? If there is any chance that she would profit in any way from your death, the red lights and alarm bells should be going off...

Answer 4

If you do not want to sign it, don't! You must always follow your gut! You're gut is right more times than your brain.

I would probably consider getting a lock box or a small safe to keep all of your personal things in, such as bank statements, credit card statements, birth certificate, social security card. If she really wants to do something diobolikal to you, she could find a shady notary public to notarize you signing something. Be wary also if she signs you up for a life insurance policy, especially if she doesn't tell you about it and you find out on your own.


Good luck, keep away from that shady chick!

Answer 5

LOL! i may well be in want. different than scientific wellness coverage is at present previous my attain, and that i does no longer want that to be perplexed with a loss of life choose. 8^P the element is, we don't enable human beings make this decision. In a civilized u . s ., no one bleeds to loss of life on the stairs of the ER. You do have the final to refuse any scientific provider. while you're extensive wakeful. yet even libertarians have the survival impulse. Ron Paul become asked just about this right comparable question in between the limitless sequence of Republican debates. could somebody with out coverage purely be allowed to die? in the previous he could answer somebody interior the team yelled out 'Yeah!' The GOP quite encourages such propose-spiritedness. while Paul did answer, he skillfully deflected the question. "properly, that is purely what we propose by ability of 'freedom'," or something like that. i'm effective that is on YouTube. of direction while the suitable little 4 12 months previous woman is composed of the ER with some deadly yet unquestionably curable disease, and that they do no longer want to handle her with the aid of fact of a foul decision her mom and father made years in the previous, she will as we talk become a reason celebre. And if there happens to be a Democrat interior the White residing house, you be attentive to Republicans will say he desires to homicide infants. This befell in Oregon some years in the past. The state government. desperate to post a itemizing of illnesses and scientific problems, each and each ranked by ability of how lots it cost to handle and what probability there become of therapy being useful. The drew a line and pronounced above the line have been the themes they might manage and under the line they does no longer. This rule lasted purely till an invaluable blonde, blue-eyed toddler got here down with the 0.33 element under the line and her candy little face lined the front web site of each newspaper. 8^P

Answer 6

You should only sign a "dnr" if YOU feel you have led a good life and are ready to meet your maker "REGARDLESS" of the circumstances. For example, if you choke on a grape and pass out before help arrives and your heart stops. If you have a DNR order, then you will NOT be resusitated. If you are 97 and have a pacemaker that quits, you will not be resusitated. You should consult your doctor and closest family member to talk about this. It should NOT be signed unless you are ready. Don't succumb to pressure to sign anything.

Answer 7

Are you ill? Is there a potential for you to drop dead suddenly? If you are a healthy & relatively young man, then you don't need to sign a DNR. If you are in very poor health & there's a chance of you going into cardiac arrest & you don't wished to be placed on life-support machines, then sign it. Otherwise, yes, I'd have to question her motives. Does she have knowledge of poisons & such?! I'd watch myself around her, now that she's seen your papers & bank statements!!! lol Insulin is an easy way to bump someone off - so is nicotine poisoning . . .

Answer 8

Sign it if that is what YOU want. Since she's only your girlfriend she legally has no say it what happens to you anyway or to your possessions in the case of your untimely demise. She can look through your papers all she wants, if she is not named on any of them it shouldn't matter...but make sure your attorney and a named executor have a copies. In fact, make sure they have notarized copies!

And make sure you have a will and insurance in place to save your family a lot of unnecessary grief. Bad enough they'll be dealing with your death than have to deal with legalities of your estate.

Lastly, why are you still with this woman!?

Answer 9

If you think she's up to something I would be kickin her to the curb. Also don't have her on anything that has to do with your finances after you've gone.You'll probably be lucky if she even has you buried proparley. As for any other reason to sign it I do have a DNR on me.If it's your time it's your time. Plus I don't want them to bring me back and have a buch of problems that I have to deal with. If I can't be the same way then I don't want to be here.

Answer 10

It would all depend on what the reasoning is behind signing it. If you are signing it just for her, I would not reccommend it however, you can do it with exceptions. There is a great thing called 5 Wishes now that is very self-explanatory and easy to use and for others to understand.