My husband and I are arguing over my insecurities. He told me this weekend that if things don't change our marriage is not going to last. All he wants is for me to trust him. I am always thinking the worst. If he doesn't answer his phone I automatically think about another woman. If he's gone somewhere and I am at home I start thinking all these thoughts! I know it's me obsessing but I can't seem to make my head shut up. He has never done anything to make me feel this way. I know this comes from past relationships, being hurt and cheated on. I know that he is not like that. He tells me, "I married you, I love you, why can't you get that through your head". I know he loves me and I know he wouldn't cheat on me. All he does is work and come home!! It's like my heart says one thing and my head says another. I am going to loose him if I don't quit letting my insecurites rule me! What can I do to trust my husband?
2006-09-25 03:31:42 · 7 answers · asked by faith 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Learning to trust is not easy, but it is so important... There are many variables that can cause someone to feel insecure..
ironically.. by playing into the insecurities, you are creating an enviroment where they will come true.... ie: If your husband does leave you, then he will possibly have a new relationship with someone else.. thus making happen what you feared so much...
So I think the next question is how do you want to live your life? Maybe... Appreciatively enjoying what you have with an understanding that you do no control everything with the exception of yourself, and you yourself choose to enjoy "the now".
2006-09-25 03:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you start having those thoughts, think how you would feel if he was the one accusing you. You have to let go of the past and move forward. The other guys were not worth you time and they hurt you, they are going to continue to hurt you until you forget about them..Don't let them ruin your marriage. Honey everybody is insecure, but don't spend every day making a bad memory when you could have so many good ones with your husband..good luck to you and keep trying.
2006-09-25 03:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always going to be a *little* part of you that feels that way because, even if our spouses are loyal and trustworthy, we know the potential is out there because other people are not.
Keep your insecurities to yourself. If you really feel that he's up to something, try to prove it before you say anything. If you can't, assume that he's being faithful until you have reason to think otherwise. It's ok to have a few insecurities as long as you don't let them rule you.
2006-09-25 03:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to go to counceling together. You need to understand how to stop this behavior and he needs to learn how to help you.
You cannot control another peron. He loves you, you sound secure in that. Love him back!! You can't create the future or live in the past. If he is going to do you wrong, he will do it NO MATTER what you do. So STOP chasing him!! You are chasing him away!
2006-09-25 03:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if he was constantly accusing you of cheating?
Is he fundamentally a decent person or the opposite. Many times people look for faults in others that they have.
2006-09-25 03:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mister2-15-2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am kinda in the same boat i have a guy who goes 2 work n comes home., very trusting. yet i am possesive n insecure, maybe ur problem lies within urself. personally, i have low self esteem n i let it get the best of me. when u feel negative, keep it 2 urself. ur married. learn 2 deal w/self esteem issues. do not let him go
2006-09-25 03:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling
2006-09-25 03:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by greeneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋