I have a very close friend who compains about her boyfriend a lot and she has every right too. The problem is that she bitches about him but at the same time justifies him. He is lazy, uninvolved, a pot head, and whines like a baby. She hates it yet she makes excuses why he's that way. How can I help her without loosing her? She has asked for my advice on numerous occasions.
2006-09-25 03:21:42 · 4 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think she knows she needs to and wants to leave him but just doesn't know how or is scared. It is hard when you love someone so much, even when they hurt you in return. Perhaps all or any relationships she has ended have been leaving one man to go to another and has never left a man to be alone. Just listen to her and help her when she complains but when she starts making excuses for him call her on it. Maybe she has gotten so used to doing it she doesnt' even realize she does anymore. The more you show her the more she will see. Keep in mind she is blinded by love and isn't thinking clearly. Love is a sucky thing sometimes.
2006-09-25 03:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by casearas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are her friend and you do care about her so continue to be there for her, even when she is venting about her boyfriend. When she starts making excuses of his behavior, call her on it. Hopefully, she'll realize sooner or later that her boyfriend is not good for her and he needs to get his priorities straight. She is blinded by love and I think that she is afraid to leave him because she is scared. It is up to her to see the kind of person her boyfriend really is. This has to be hard for you seeing her go through this. As a friend, continue to be there for her like I said but try and keep your distance. Don't get yourself too involved in her problems. She has to learn from her mistakes herself.
2006-09-25 10:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been in this situation before and best just to listen and let her vent. She will defend him because she doesn't want to be wrong-wrong about the mate she chose. Best thing to do is to let her pick the time to end it, and usually she will, and then help her find other good parts of her life when she is hurt and without him.
Just remember what a friend is and why she needs one.
2006-09-25 10:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by #2 in the oven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a very hard situation, Your friend on one hand wants out of this relationship but doesn't know how. So she tries to make it seem like it's fine. She wants advice but who ever gives it to her is in trouble she will lash out at this person like they are trying to break up her relationship. You are going to become her release for everything in that relationship. Are you willing to do that
2006-09-25 16:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by robert d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋