why are some husband selfish and care for them self at times?

Question

my husband is so selfish i have gottan so stress about it and when i try to talk to him about our relationship on the edge he do not want to here it. it seems like he is the only one in this relationship ok like this he just bought a new car we have another car all ready but when i ask to use the new car he wants to say he dont wnat to put milelage on it but he can get in the new car as he please i do not thinks that fair put i like this not all about the car it is how he act with it i feel i am the wife i should get and it as i please ok just like today i was going to the doctor and we use the old car for work but so happin he takes the new because he do'nt want me driven it but it is a work car

Answer 1

Mine started doing that when he was seeing his secretary...I had his only son & I was driving around in a 1989 Merkur, & an '85, 5 litre, 8 cylinder Mustang, that didn't have shoulder belts in the back, so he had to sit in the front passenger. The merkur wasn't bad, but it had an oil leak that constantly oiled the timing chain. The mustang was a piece of crap & totally not for driving around a child. Meanwhile, he drove 7 miles each way to work in a brand new, $30,000. ford expedition, that I was not allowed to drive. The brakes went out on the mustang one time, & I hit someone. The cop didn't give me a ticket & The gent I hit didn't insist that I get one, when they saw the child seat in the front seat, & my soon-to-be-ex pull up in a brand new truck!
Sad...he got fired from his 30 year career job, when his secretary changed her addrerss to his...Now, she is paying for my son's insurance, a year later, he still doesn't have a job!
Bad boys!

Answer 2

Sounds like you married a man that is love with material things & yes hisself. What you should do is buy your own new car! Maybe even just taking the new car no matter what he says. you are his wife. Or you could do the nice approach & try counseling for you both.Alot of options but you have to be tired of it before it can be taken care of. I learned that from exp. Until you get tired no matter what anyone says you will take it the way it is. So when you get tired oh he will know & then you'll be driving his car or your own new car with a new man. Good luck.

Answer 3

Disregard the male haters above me just because we're men doesn't mean we are all the same or that we are all idiots.

Yes generally speaking most men are selfish in nature but then one magic day like all people we become adults. Most of us grow up at this point and leave our "Mine" attitude in the dust with the kickball and playgrounds. This man you dated, you told him you loved him and then you married him and all his shortcomings. I doubt he just started being selfish so you probably already knew this but chose not to address it through the dating phase.

You can try to talk about his selfish behaviour but he will probably either defend himself or make excuses. I don't treat my wife in this manner and when we bought a new car I told her she can drive whatever she wants. You should be respected and be treated how you like in a marriage and if not you need to figure out what you need to do. Is this a big enough issue to discuss with him in depth? Is it bad enough you feel like if it doesn't change you want out?

Answer 4

Be careful when you define yourself as "Mrs sexy lady." You're not requiring much respect for anything you think or say. Also, you plead your case that your husband is "so selfish" and also apply the opinion to men, in general. YOU have issues. Your example is so petty, so biased and so generalized. To most women, if this was the worst their marriage got, they wouldn't have a complaint. Treat your man like he is your treasure. Treat yourself like more than a "sexy lady." It is much "sexier" to have a brain and to be in tune to the needs of your loved one. Quit crying about "fairness." Don't keep score in a marriage; you'll always find reason to justify your diasappointment if you do. The change of attitude should pay you back ten-fold.

Answer 5

That is an age old question, That problem can arise form the way his or her parents were, It can also be derive from from him or her having an affair, And knowing that what they are doing is wrong and they are just trying to cover it up by blaming all their problems on you . I am just sorry to say that there are a multitude of reasons out there for someone to act like that and you have to make a decision on what to do about it. No one can live in a situation like that for to long for the pain is just to great for anyone person to bare. You can't kill them, and you can't live with them. So you have to make up your own mind as to how do you wish to deal with that problem................................ All to many times divorce is the best answer. Its called irreconcilable differences.

Answer 6

Why do you ask to drive it ??????????? You should take the keys and go. You have every right to drive it too. When you ask him for permission for anything then he feels he has a right to treat you like a child. You are his wife so don't ask for ANYTHING, tell or inform!!!!!!!!!! Treat yourself with respect if you want him to. Now go to his job and switch out cars with him and tell him you want the new one to go to the doctor appointment with. Good luck, it's all up to you....

Answer 7

i was married to a selfish man - it wasn't materialistic things like yours - but more wanting everything his way and hating that he could not have all my attention after we had kids - i devoted so many years of my marriage trying to please him - what power he must have felt, then finally wised up and divorced him - now he is literally begging me to take him back - too late - he should have tried to change his selfish ways.

Answer 8

any person (not just husbands) can be selfish because (generally speaking) they have other needs that they just could not get and vent their frustration into denying the needs of others. husbands generally view their wives as their alter ego and they are frustrated and selfish with their wives because they are not happy with themselves when they could not get something they deeply wanted. it may not be material things that they could not get...

Answer 9

some ppl are like that just try to do ur job and even consider him invisible coz these kind of ppl want to be all alone and just do their job y u have to try to get close?or closer?

Answer 10

The only way this will get better is by you talking to him!