He came home in the early hours of the morning after a night out with friends no phone call or text to let me know. i thought i would finish it but where kind of sorting through things. i just get a knot in my stomach when he goes out, it doesn't help that i dont like one of his friends. its got ridiculous now with mind games - i am thinking he will be out one night with his friends so i have to make sure i have a night out with my friends. i just hate feeling like this and wish it wasn't an issue. i hate having to stay in on my own when he goes out. i got into the routine of only going out when he does and i always felt guilty when i went out and he was staying in . yet when his friends call him to go out i dont get a second thought. i just want him to be more thoughtful and understand where i am coming from. writing this it really sounds like a daft question but i really have had enough of it. any advice would be great
2006-09-25 02:33:40 · 26 answers · asked by Pebbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi, i understand completely how you feel and went through the exact same thing, its really hard to overcome it but if you want this relationship to work/last you need to let go alittle. Its a trust thing if we are really honest with ourselves and feeling insecure.
You need to find something to keep you busy whilst he is out, and yes have a girls night out as well, its hard i know but a little trust does go a long way.
Agree separate nights out with friends and also a night out together.
if you find yourself stuck at home when he is out treat yourself to a bottle of wine and a soppy film, things he wouldn't enjoy doing, or have yourself a pamper night with a few girlfriends round, or just have a good old relaxing bath and enjoy the peace, give him his space and he will wonder whats come over you and pay you more attention, your not daft lots of us go through the same thing, but them knots soon vanish and your relationship will be stronger. hope this helps
2006-09-25 02:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by mereidmell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys going out with their friends and being home at a reasonable hour is understandable. Everyone needs that kind of time. But your boyfriend is staying out all hours of the night. If you feel there is something wrong, I guarantee your intuition is right. Talk with your boyfriend about how you are feeling. It sounds like you are ready to settle down with this guy and have a real relationship, while he still wants to be out with the boys. Besides what can guys be doing in the early hours of the morning anyway? If you don't trust his friends or you know they are bad company, well your boyfriend is hanging out with these people, so I doubt he's going to act like an angel around them. You just need to talk with your boyfriend and come to an agreement between the both of you. If he loves you and wants this relationship, he'll budge. Good luck!
2006-09-25 02:42:05 · answer #2 · answered by gel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its a daft question you cant help how you feel. If you dont like the people he is going out with i can understand you not being very comfortable with the fact that he is out till all hours. But let me ask, is it him you dont trust? Are you afraid he is going off with other people. Sometimes i get the same thing, there's a few palces my bf goes that i aint too happy about but i trust him completely, thats why i ask, is it him you have the problem with or just his friends. Have you actually tried talking to him about this though. I take it you live together yeah? It could just be that he is really comfortable with you and even though he is out with his mates, it's you he is coming home to. And i dont think you should feel guilty for leaving him indoors one little bit.
2006-09-25 03:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun.. maybe your lack self-confidence.
And if this is a regular occurance maybe you should lookin into why is your partner going out so much without you.
Maybe if you get out there a bit more and have fun, visit a few friends etc you wont have so much time on your hands towonder what his up to.
Speak to your parnter. Maybe he dosen't know how you feel or how this is effecting you.
My best advice to you is to Sit him down have a talk, whats the worse that can come from that. Maybe he will pay you a little more attention.
GOOD LUCK
2006-09-25 02:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. You need to get over it,the fact is you either trust him or not. Being insecure will only damage your relationship. Don't go out just cos he does. Do it cos you want to and have plans to. Try and get into a routine. As for his friend, if you're being funny with your boyfriend that makes it all the more easier for his friend,if you know what I mean. Be smart and pull yourself together. Hope it works out for you.xx.
2006-09-25 02:39:20 · answer #5 · answered by IloveMarmite 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being a control freak and leave him alone. Obviously he is a grown man that can do what he wants when he wants. The more you are paranoid the worse your relationship will get and eventually he'll be telling you where to go! A relationship is based on trust and it doesn't seem like you trust him so either fix up or let go!!
2006-09-25 02:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by SHAMARA L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Us woman only get that feeling when we know something is up. It's our gut instinct. Follow it, why would he want to go out without you in the first place? Thats a good indication somethings up. If your not getting a second thought before he goes out what makes you think he's going to give you a second thought when he has his hands down some chics pants?
2006-09-25 02:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just described me about 4 years ago. But just a little milder.I would go crazy when he went out . I would stalk him on the sly. You name it I did it. I believe you are in a state of not trusting him. Maybe it's your past with him or another. What i did to get over it was pray & find myself .I was suffering from my past & not looking into the future.Learn new things about you & stop focusing so much time on trying to figure him out. Good luck & you can do this . Believe in yourself!
2006-09-25 02:39:12 · answer #8 · answered by "karma" 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you can have a good relationship if there are mind games and he is galavanting around without you. Look, I think it is healthy to do things separately.......but you have to trust a person first. If he goes out and intentionally leaves you behind, you have to get out of it. To me, my gf comes first. She knows I love her and she is totally confident that I am into her. If I went out with my friends, she doesn't even think about what I am doing. She trusts me and I think you need a new boyfriend....you'll see.....there are guys out there that you just know they are dependable and faithful.
2006-09-25 02:47:24 · answer #9 · answered by Joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to relax a bit more otherwise you'll drive him away. also, you may be wanting more out of the relationship than he does.
blokes like to do blokey things now and again.
have you been hurt badly before by someone you trusted.
maybe relate could be a last resort.
be happy in yourself and have some me time. relationships can seriously damage your health.
sounds like you've lost the trust but talk it out with him about how you're feeling.
be happy! and good luck!
2006-09-25 02:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by darius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋