My girlfriend and i were together for two years we were friends before and i love her very much, the problem is she dosent espress her self emotionally or verberally verry well. I am the ont that has to say i love you or put my arms around her and even cuddle she never makes the first move, she said she wasen't raise that way and her mother never said i love you. that being said i feel like i am the only one in the relationship and her inactions is making me feel like she dosent care help what should i do i really really love her but i dont want to be in a relationship where i feel like the person dosent care about i'm not that desperate, there is a whole lot more but in a nutshell ( its like she is trying to find herself, she is always trying to please people, doing what she thinks will make them happy, and takes thing very personally) my question is I am not worry about her leaving me i am worry that i will reget not trying harder should i give it one more go?
2006-09-25 02:32:13 · 9 answers · asked by lil 1 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
You're waffling. Either you want a woman who can give you the verbal emotional support you require, or you don't! People DO NOT CHANGE unless they decide they need to do this FOR THEMSELVES!!! We can not help. We can only accept them as they are, or not.
2006-09-25 02:53:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does she "show" you she loves you in other ways? My boyfriend and I are like that. I was the one raised in a very loving and openly affectionate family whereas he was not. He gets a handshake from his father when we leave there - i get a hug, a kiss, a call me, a be safe, an "i love you" when i leave my mom's house. It's very different for us the way we were raised with it.
Having said that - he is not one to say i love you and cuddle for hours; however, he does sweet things, little gestures, he'll say something that lets me know he was listening or do something that shows me he cares. For ex. I am heavily involved with Special Olympics and every Sunday in the fall he gives up three hours of his life to come help me teach my 'kids' (even though he has a fear of some of them). He will go to all the Special Olympics functions with me and cheer on my kids.
It's the little things he/she does that show you they care. Her always trying to please people is her personality - i think she'll always have that - some poeple are like that, you know? The always taking things personally sounds like something she may outgrow - i'm not sure of your ages, but i was like that when i was younger and have outgrown it.
You have to sit down with her and discuss this - if she tells you she loves you and has never given you any reason to doubt it, i'd believe her. Then you have to ask yourself if you can live with her not being affectionate. It was hard for me to swallow, but we've been together for just about six years now and in time, he's coming around - a little more affectionate. I am not changing him or trying to change him, he is just becoming more comfy around affection. Also i stuck with him b/c i do honestly love him and care for him and that was the only thing that really bothered me - it was something i figured i could work on - it was a " we both had to give a little" situation. BUT, if you can't be happy regardless if you love her or not, let her go b/c you'll never be happy you know?
Good luck - sorry if this rambled on.
2006-09-25 02:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by Weasel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out now. Be a good friend, but that's it. The first rule of relationships that you must learn today, right now, is that you cannot change a person. Too many people think they can change what they don't like about another person just because they love them. Those are the people who end up in empty relationships. She is saying she doesn't want to be in a serious relationship with you. Listen to her. It will hurt, but not for long. Trying to stay in a one-sided relationship will hurt forever.
2006-09-25 02:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by Me again 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer taken aback. A sixteen 12 months previous with a 20 12 months previous. i could understand her mom and father desiring you to be aside. particular sixteen is a exciting age yet maximum are naive even nevertheless they do no longer understand and likewise her concept of having a dating is distinctive on your perceptions. At sixteen even they do no longer look to be that mature sufficient to understand an entire dating and what it completely includes. If she become 18/19 and your 24 back you will locate out that your in a distinctive head area. yet 2 mature adults at say 24 ish and four years aside ie24/28 that could be a real looking properly worth saving dating. Is be livid if that become my daughter at the variety of youthful age. She could be in love with yet another youngster no longer a grown guy. that is incorrect on all ranges. Sorry.
2016-10-17 22:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by montesi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you wait for 2 years in order to get to know that, or she just manifested it lately?
If it's the first, well you're on the brink of ruining your relationship...! If the second, man
try to find out :1) if there is another guy around.2) What did you do to her incorrect, or
what haven't you done, that ought to....!
Ciao.....John-John
2006-09-25 02:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love her give her another chance...she needs help and u should be the one to "teach" her to say i love u and express herself
2006-09-25 02:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am alot like this I guess I would like to know to.
2006-09-25 02:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by reuterk1976 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound VERY shallow to me, moron. If you love her, you love her, unconditionally. If you do not, it is time to move on.
2006-09-25 02:41:08 · answer #8 · answered by jessiekatsopolous 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
counseling would help you both enormously
2006-09-25 03:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by Annie R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋