we have been together for almost three years. all i feel now is pain and confusion.
2006-09-25 02:27:57 · 11 answers · asked by moori3100 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In general, I believe that if a spouse cheats that you should leave because no matter what the "experts" say, you will NEVER trust them again. Since you are asking a specific question about yourself with very little details, this is my advice:
Decide if you can forgive your husband for what he has done. It doesn't matter why he did it or how long, you need to look inside yourself and figure out if you can look at your husband, kiss him, make love to him, live with him every day knowing that he had sex with someone else while he was supposed to be committed to you. If you can do that, then you might be able to stay with him.
If you are going to make this affair a part of your life, then you need to leave him. What I mean is that if you are going to bring this up, if you are going to think about it all the time, if he leaves the house and you need to grill him, if you can't get the trust back, then it's over.
I know that I am making it seem like it is black and white and I personally believe that it is. People will tell you that there are a lot of things to think about, but there are not. You only need to know whether you can forgive him and move on from this, if you can't then there is nothing that can be done to save the relationship; eventually it will fall apart. This about you now and what you need. I know that you are very confused and hurt right now and you are going to feel like that for a while. Do whatever is best for you. Even if it is against what everyone is telling you that you should do; no matter whether you stay or leave.
Good luck and if you decide to leave him, make sure that you give yourself some time to mourn the relationship and then move on with your life (not necessarily with another man right away).
2006-09-25 02:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some time on your own to think things over. Stay with a family member for a while.
Should you leave him? That is your decision.
Important q's to ask yourself & yr husband -
1) Why did he cheat? Get an honest response from him & what do u think of his answer?
2) Do the both of you want to work things out? It can't be one-sided.
3) Are there kids involved?
4) What is your first instinct?
5) If you do get a divorce what is the reality? What will happen? Think it through.
I hope you will pull through during this difficult time. Hopefully you will make the right decision.
2006-09-25 09:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mawarda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My motto is "once a cheater, always a cheater". Get out now, do not look back. If you take him back after this, he will do it again then give you the same sob story. Don't let anyone continue to cause you pain and confusion, especially if you have the power to put a stop to it or avoid it altogether.
2006-09-25 09:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by greenejl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now as this will only bring more stress and pain for you, i've just left a similar situation. The resentment you have for him will only build up and you'll explode. Mine told me he would never do it again but at the same time thought i would get over it. I hope this is not your case but maybe its best for you to cut your loses now before he trully damages you.
2006-09-25 09:34:46 · answer #4 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the motto says a man can make a million mistakes but if he keeps making the same one then something has to give. We want our men to be perfect but how can we when we are not perfect ourselves. Do you love him? Sit down and make a list for your eyes only and write down all the good things he has done for you and all the bad things he's done to you and if the good out ways the bad then hold on if the bad out ways the good then let it go and move on.
2006-09-25 09:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by ricky d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy is the same one that you mentioned in your resolved question, "Am pregnant by a 23 year old man. been together for two years.am 36 i love him.should i keep the baby??
WHY AM NOT SURE IS OUR AGE GAP."
Then he is certainly justified in what he has done,had I been in his place ,I would have followed him.The age difference between you two is the main cause of all ills.
2006-09-25 09:35:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-09-25 09:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by alanshockey58 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that will help you overcome the problem is both of you need marriage counseling-you need it to deal and cope with what has happened and he needs it so the counselor can point out why he is such a jerk-off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-25 09:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by dodlydink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt be able to be physical with him again if he cheated on me so i would deffinetely leave - it is sometihng which is hard to forgive and harder to forget!
2006-09-25 11:56:57 · answer #9 · answered by beautyspot7785 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER...BUT ITS COMPLETELY UP TO U IF U WANT TO STAY WITH HIM.
2006-09-25 09:38:30 · answer #10 · answered by PRETTYGIRL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋