bothers me ..... he's such a good kid, and he's not into drugs and never gets in trouble..but is this thing with porn a sickness.. this is the third time where i've noticed that he's searched porn sites and i just don't know what to think...part of me knows it's normal but part of me wonders how normal is it?
2006-09-25 02:12:58 · 43 answers · asked by bichongirl 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Speaking as a former 15 year old boy, this is COMPLETELY normal, I'd be more worried about him if he wasn't looking at porn online. Despite that this type of curiosity and interest are completely normal, and for the most part exposure to pornography is not going to really damage him, in my opinion there are two things to be concerned about:
1. For some people viewing porn becomes compulsive and
addictive.
2. A lot of pornography tends to be misogynistic, focusing only on male pleasure (or imagining that women derive pleasure from things that would be exclusively pleasurable to the man) and degrading to women.
Whether you want to install some kind of net-firewall software on your computer that would make it impossible or difficult for him to view pornography from home is up to you, but keep in mind a fifteen year-old boy will find other sources.
I think it's important that you don't condemn him for being sick or wrong for expressing a completely age-appropriate interest.
Also you our his father need to talk to him about avoiding pornography becoming a compulsion, it's a lot more interesting getting to know real women.
Also instill in him that if he does view porn that most of it is driven by male (often misogynist) fantasy and that it is NOT a good model of how to treat real women who deserve respect.
I agree with mind the gap's cautions but not with her blanket prohibition because it suggests that there is something morally wrong about his desire and curiosity to view this type of thing, which there isn't. I'd be really careful with conflating ideas of sex with feelings of guilt
2006-09-25 02:28:25 · answer #1 · answered by elgüero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this type of behavior is very normal. My husband and I have discussed this a lot (we have a 12 year old son we caught on a porn site). My husband says when he was young that the boys were fascinated with Playboy and Penthouse and many other magazines. It's mostly about curiosity and peer pressure. But as he said, we're all sexual beings and this is an age of the awakening of hormones. It's just very unfortunate that porn is so much more accessible these days.
Our computer was upstairs and our son was often alone while on it before we caught him. Now the computer is downstairs in the living room where we can watch what he does and what sites he visits. Talk to your son, make sure that you are understanding about his curiosities but tell him that what is portrayed in the porn sites is not at all respectful to women or normal sex between a loving couple. Tell him that you do not approve of him being on these sites and if he continues to view them his computer privileges will be taken away with the exception of school related work. Have your husband talk to him about the right way to learn about sex.
I wish you the best, this is not an easy subject to talk about it and I appreciate your asking the question.
2006-09-25 02:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very normal, when i was 15 there was no Internet, so i stole the playboy my dad had. Its the coming of age, and with sex all over the TV, i`d be surprised if he`s not active. or at least masterbating. Don't worry, just try to restrict a little the use of the internet at times when he has the opportunity to check those sites, or move the computer to a location that anyone walking by can see the screen, he will be too embarrassed to search porn as someone might see him.
2006-09-25 02:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by Skuya!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's normal, it shows a healthy interest in him maturing into a full adult. He is interested in sex, that's a great start for you to step in and offer guidance and advice as a parent.
I think once he stops being your 'little soldier' and you can see him growing up into a man, it will be easier.
If you are concerned it is happening too often, then add parental filters to the web browser which will allow you to control what is looked at. Some internet porn sites go far and beyond what would be considered 'a healthy interest in sex'.
If it's any consolation, I did it, as probably most of the male internet population, so don't be too concerned.
2006-09-25 02:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by Rasputin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal. He is not only curious but (and I hate to say this so blunt, cuz I have sons too) his hormones are strting to rage. Think of how older men are when it comes to porn........They didnt start looking into it when they were in their twenties!. Chalk it up to teenage male thing. It's especially normal if most of these porn sites are normal porn (I wont get into the various kinds).
I remember thinking of sex at a very young age. It happens.
Sounds like your son is growing up perfectly and doing all the normal things teenage boys do.
2006-09-25 02:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by triciasdish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to be curious, but pornography is very addictive. It makes men lust over women and look at women as just objects. I had my first taste of porn when I was about 6 and I am forty now and still find it difficult to not look at women lustfully.
Your are his Mom, get on the computer and put some secure parental blocks on there.
Good Luck
2006-09-25 06:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by 2muchcoffee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal and harmless unless of course he is visiting some rape or torture sites, then you ned to confront him. It would be interesting to know if sex is an open topic in your household or is it a taboo subject. If its taboo and questions are met with scorn and disapproving looks he is searching for an asnwer he cant get from his parents. Open discussions about sex should be the norrm if your not able to do this find a male friend or at least get him a book.
2006-09-25 03:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very normal. Before the net boys were sneaking peeks at Playboy and other such magazines and before that I'm sure they were probably looking at the underwear ads in catalogs.
If you are really worried then you might want to talk to him about it. That way you can tell him that the images he sees are not typical.
2006-09-25 02:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a woman who raised a son myself....it is hard to take. Curiosity is all it is....and this may be his only access to porn. I suggest talking to him telling him the difference between women being exploited and what "porn" is about....and what two people share who love each other. Respect for women...etc. Talking is the key. My son too went through this stage before he started having "girlfriends". He is now 23 and treats woman with great respect. You need to open the communication on this subject. My son does not speak to me about "sex" at 23, but he does confide in me still in regards to his girlfriends.
2006-09-25 02:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by Tracey H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its seems more and more that children are being exposed to explicit porn at a very young age and yes 15 is normal. Mind you have you taken a good look at the music videos these days and to think in the 50's they out lawed Elvis's pelvis
2006-09-25 02:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋