He denies he has any problem but gives me **** over my job, my socail life and my mates. Is always sorry after any confrontation.
2006-09-25 01:40:06 · 55 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He was going to go for counselling but bailed.
Oh and the flowers to say sorry dont work anymore!!!
2006-09-25 01:56:24 · update #1
By "mates" i mean friends!!
2006-09-25 02:14:32 · update #2
ive just split with an abusive when drunk ex. i had bad relationships before and promised myself i would walk if it happened again. i did and i feel great about it! i know im worth more than having someone making me feel like c**p and to be completly honest i have amazing friends and if i never meet someone nice then so be it! id rather be on my own than take c**p from someone just because they are insecure and have a problem with alcohol! i think the fact that you have put the word abusive in the title of your question gives you the answer!! NO1 deserves to suffer abuse no matter what sort or how bad it is, walk and if they love you they will sort them selves out, possibly with counsilling and then the choice will still be yours if you get back with them or not. dont be a doormat..... stand up for yourself, the reward is a massive boost in self respect and in my opinion nothing comes close! GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-25 01:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by stephenjenner2503 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in an abusive relationship for years.I was punched in the head and thrown downstairs when I was 6 months pregnant.I had a good job when I met him,I gave up that.I gave up my family and friends,I was so naive and young.I was mentally and physically abused,lost my confidence,became agoraphobic.He was always sorry afterwards,and said he loved me.Then he would do it again,and again.The same pattern.These men DO NOT ever change.They are insecure.I was threatened with acid on my face,still I stayed.One day something just 'clicked' in my brain and I knew enough was enough.I left my country with two young kids and without my coat.It is the best move I ever made in my life.I lost my home and possessions,but freedom is wonderful.I have a happy life now,a fantastic partner and my girls are doing well in high school.Leave him,think of your future.
2006-09-25 01:44:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By partner, do you mean husband? I'm thinking not, and I hope not because this man has serious problems that need attention.
He obviously loves other "things" besides you, and isn't paying attention to your feelings, or to his own self and life.
Counseling is needed, for both of you individually. I don't know what you mean by your "mates" either ... do you have other boyfriends or something? If you do, then you should be living on your own, and not be "in" a relationship with anyone until you and he and everything is right and good (loving, kind, trustworthy, respectful, self-control, responsible, etc...).
2006-09-25 02:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love this person otherwise you would be long gone,you even think that if you stay and support him he will see how much he is hurting you and want to change.Your friends are worried about you and so are your family they can see the full extent of the situation.If you stay with this person its not going to get any better,you will lose your self esteem and will get lost in a world of fear and bitterness.As long as you stay he has no reason to change,why should he you always come back.Think for yourself,look after your happiness,build yourself back up and move forward in life.
2006-09-25 01:51:50 · answer #4 · answered by Carrie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babes, i went through something similar. My partner wasn't abusive or drunk, but he always gave me s**t about going out, my job, my life - even when i took him home to see where i came from and meet my family and friends, he bitched about my friends who were the people i grew up and have been with my whole life.
Even as non-drunk, i hated what he was saying and i stood up to him. You should do the same.
No matter if he's sorry afterwards, he shouldn't be saying things in the first place - and you shouldn't be accepting it!!
Hopefully you've already told him how you feel (but if you haven't, that's the first step) but if he can't help himself, then no-one can help him until he's ready, and you shouldn't have to be the person to deal with it!
I say go. Be strong.
2006-09-25 01:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by ~ Cat ~ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I put up with a drunken abusive partner for 9 years waiting for him to change because of the kids but in the end i walked out and left.If he feels he doesnt have a problem your whipping a dead horse because he cant change.Change has to come from within none of us has the ability to change a person we are what we are and can only change ourselves,honey if he is making you unhappy walk away theres plenty more men out there who will love and cherish you and mostly respect you.Have respect for yourself and your own wellbeing be brave and dont take the crap you dont have to.
2006-09-25 01:45:05 · answer #6 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you stay you are denying that you have a problem.
Saying your sorry is just words unless there is change and that does not appear to be the case - there are wonderful people out there go find one that will treat you well.
2006-09-25 01:43:47 · answer #7 · answered by freemansfox 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I have to say this, Don't listen to anyone, that has said O I know how you feel,and I would do this, because unless they have been in the situation they dont know what they would do.... EXAMPLE: my fiance cheated on me, but before he ever did I swore to myself and everyone, that if a man ever cheated on me, i would leave........and look at me i am still here......with him..........
As for you, no one deserves to be unhappy or abused, not physically or mentally... he needs to realize that he really does have a problem.... he thinks he has contorl over you... show him that you dont need him, you may love him, but the best thing for you to do, is leave for now, tell him he needs counciling to make the relationship work, and if he wont go to councling, than leave him, and girl i am telling u i know it is alot easier said than done, but that will show him that u mean business, and that u are not going to take the sh** anymore.... if he truly loves you he will go to councling..... but life is to short to be unhappy...........think about your life............good luck and god bless
2006-09-25 02:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by Kimmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clare please as women to women get out of it, he will never ever change his ways. I was married to the same kind of man if ya can call him a man, for 18yrs and all the sorry's and the flowers don't make up for the way they make you feel. I was accused of everything even tho i was at home with our daughter and he was out every night and day
They say love is blind, that's true, but do yourself a favour Clare and go before its to late
2006-09-25 01:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of the relationship. It's not good for you to get dragged down to his level and have to suffer. Of course he's always sorry - he realises what he might lose. Hard but true - you need to leave him and move on. Difficult when you have strong feelings, or possibly still love him, but perhaps it will bring him to his senses and make him a better person. Be strong and good luck.
2006-09-25 01:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋