I am going threw a NASTY seperation from my husband (who I still love and adore) he has been extremely difficult to deal with. After making no effort to contact me or my son (1 year) last week he decided he wanted to take my son for the weekend.... When I showed up to drop my baby off my ex had been drinking, I was tempted to take my baby and leave but I feared for our saftey so I left my son for the weekend. Now here is the question part... My sons hair is starting to get long and I really like it so I asked my husband NOT to cut his hair! Well lastnight when I picked up my son his hair had been cut. Should I approach my ex about this? It really hurt my feelings that he couldn't respect the one thing I had asked. Not only that but it was my sons first hair cut which I missed and I am a hair dresser and wanted to give my baby his first hair cut....Do I lay it on the a**hole?
2006-09-25 01:30:23 · 34 answers · asked by kourtney j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What!!.....You're married?!?
;~)
2006-09-25 08:01:55 · answer #1 · answered by tom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should of never left your baby with someone who has been drinking. Second your ex cut your baby's hair to get back at you. He is being a idiot. If you think that he would do anything to you or your child then you need to let someone know. Also when you drop off the child you should have someone with you. This way there is someone there that can back up what you say. It is plain to see that all he wants is to get back at you and there is a chance that he will use the child to do that. You may love him but that is nothing to the safety and well being of your child. You deserve better and should not be anyone's walking mat and that is what it sounds like he thinks you are. Make sure that you document everything just in case things get worse.
2006-09-25 01:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What good will it do to get angry with him? He did it because he wanted a reaction from you. If you tie into him then he will know he succeeded. He may not have even been thinking about giving the boy a haircut until you said something. If you went into details why, he may have thought he could have a "first" with the boy since has missed out on so many. Don't tell him what he can and can't do. My ex allowed his wife to dye my son's hair(top part) a brassy blonde one year so it was two colors. He has pretty brown hair. I never said a word to him about it. It looked crappy. It didn't happen again.
2006-09-25 02:14:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have never left your son since his father did not have enough respect for him and was drinking when he got there.
I understand your fear, but you should have told him sorry, you were unaware he would be drinking and if he even started to say something called 911. You should also always take someone else with you when you go there if you have a reason to be afraid.
As far as the haircut, leave it alone. I know it upset you but the more fuss you make about it he will try to use against you in court.
Don't keep your son from his father, but next time.....take a friend and a cell phone, go to the door first without your son.......if he is drinking give your friend a signal to call 911, if he is fine go get your son and give him to him.
2006-09-25 01:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by howdidiknowthat 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all you don't leave your son with a drunkenly bastard suppose he had hurt him. Anyways he has no respect for you not because you are divorce means that he can do as he please life does not work that way. He is sick and a piece of S#H#T he will get what is coming to him in due time. Sorry you missed your sons first hair cut but guess what is the beauty you will have many more first times in is life. I really hope you get away from this bastard.
2006-09-25 01:43:12 · answer #5 · answered by antionette_jazzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The mother always belongs with her children. Period. I think if alchohol is part of the equation, then you are in for disaster. It tends to enhance anger. It sounds like he cut your son's hair because he was angry with you. I don't know what is going on with you and your husband. But, I think you really step back and find out. Examine your relationship in detail. Write the good and the bad on paper. Talk to friends and family. Then act. If necessary, find a counselor. It might also be a tremendously good idea to TO TALK TO A DIVORCE LAWYER about your situation. A divorce lawyer can guide you on how to act because or CHILD CUSTODY issues should you decide to proceed with a divorce. The judge will look at your behavior and his when deciding who gets the child. Please go see a divorce lawyer for advice on how to conduct yourself and prepare for divorce.
2006-09-25 01:41:04 · answer #6 · answered by rasckal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love him, I adore him, He was drinking but i still left my son with him, I asked him not to cut his hair but he did it anyways.....STOP LETTING HIM WALK ALL OVER YOU!!!!!!! Take a stand Woman! This is your son your talking about his safety was left to a man that drinks when he knows when his son is coming down and has No respect for his child's mother!!
2006-09-25 01:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this really worth fighting about? what is to be gained by it? It is too late to do anything about it. Frankly I wouldn;t have left the child once I'd noticed that dad was drinking, and i woul rethink that in the future or discuss it with him before hand and set up some ground rules.
there are going to be A LOT of issues to deal with and compromise about, make sure you pick the battles that are really worth it. it's better for your son to have some contact with his father, but if yoiu nit pick over every thing, dad may decide to stay out of the picture and your son is the one who will ultimately suffer.
you need to try to be civil to one another and NEVER bad mouth the other parent to your child. it will make him feel like he has to choose sides and will make him want to defend his dad, the same will hold true for dad talking badly about you, your son will defend you or at the very least it will alienate dad because your son will not want to hear dad talking bad about you.
you must start thinking in terms of what is best and most fair for your son. it is not his fault that his parents can't get along and he should not have to suffer for it. be sure to look at it from that angle and always be the bigger person
good luck to you.
2006-09-25 01:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by island3girl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honey, first I would have never left my child with ANYONE who had been drinking! What if he had went for drive and ~~~~ well, you can figure that one out! If you have custody and your PH (previous husband) will not respect your decisions on haircuts, etc, talk to human resources, child welfare, or go back and see a judge and get an order that he cannot see the child if he is going to take him and make physical changes you do not approve of ~~~ you are the custodial parent and you make the choices~ ~ ~ ~~ GOOD LUCK Honey!
2006-09-25 01:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Hammer 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow that was pretty screwed up of him. I know you still love him very much, but if he's treating you that way, what's the use? Also, I'd be upset about the haircut, but VERY upset if you explained to him the situation (I want to cut his hair for the first time, his first haircut, etc.).
Approaching him...? Whatever you do, show that you're the mature one- don't start a fight and get nasty. If he starts yelling, don't yell back. Just shake your head and tell him he needs to grow up...
2006-09-25 01:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is a very mean and selfish person and it's sad that you didn't get to see/do his first haircut, especially since you're a hairdresser, but in my opinion you should be more worried about your ex's actual behaviour towards your son. For example is he violent or does he yell at him a lot? If he is you could try to get full custody of your son. Good luck trying to sort this out!
2006-09-25 01:33:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋