Yesterday was such a nice, dreary, boring Sunday. My neighbour girl was being a pest and kept wanting something to do, so I let her give Amanda, my pet armadillo, a makeover with Turtle Wax.
Now I can't get the blasted stuff to come off. It worked fine on the lobsters. Poor Amanda hasn't come out of her shell all day, not even to eat or use the sandbox. She can be such a Streisand! So why doesn't Turtle Wax work on Amanda, and how can I cheer her up? I don't know if she's moping or moulting. I fear she's suicidal.
2006-09-25 01:26:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I fear Amanda is possibly jealous that you let another female polish her up. Possibly she thought you liked her the way she was, and didn't appreciate being made to feel she wasn't polished enough for you. I think you owe her an apology. Turtles spend a lot of time in water and may appreciate the extra polish to keep their shells looking good. Armadillos don't do the water thing as far as I know.
2006-09-25 01:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by Grandma Coffee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn, boy. Don't you know that when you're putting turtle wax on an armadillo, you have to buff it to the left & down, & always always always use a water heater! Evidently you didn't follow the rules...you were probably reading the instructions for waxing a californian cesspool wader, huh? Well, we've all made that mistake now & then. Just take some molasses & pour on Amanda. It'll use some coaxing to do this, so be on your best secondary behavior! Get her to come out, roll around in a sand mound, & once she's reached the point of no return, peel off the sand/molasses coating. Feed it to the buffalo next door, & presto, the wax is gone! Many happy unicycles to you, my friend.
2006-09-25 08:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah...wrong wax, that's all. According to Rudyard Kipling's "Just So Stories", armadilloes are the product of experiments by tortoises and hedgehogs to be more like each other, and avoid being eaten by Jaguars. If, as seems the case, your armadillo has had a bad reaction to the Turtle Wax, it's obvious that Amanda is descended from the other branch of the family. Try plying her with some Hedgehog Wax, she'll be fine in no time.
2006-09-25 08:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by mdfalco71 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the way an armadillo's shell is , you know not like a turtle , it is hard to get the wax on wax off motion !! You may have to go to the local body shop and get her buffed and glazed . As far as the suicidal tendencies you might need to give her some of your meds like a Valium or a xanax to bring her out of it .
2006-09-25 08:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by smitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't work on Armadillos because they know they frighten easily. The first time headlights startle her, she will jump straight up SMACK off the windshield and all the turtle wax will break into pieces and fall off. She's just trying to preserve that "just waxed feeling."
2006-09-25 08:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by alis_n_1derland 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its OBVIOUS man....u need ARMADILLO wax for armadillos!
Its like asking "why cooking oil doesnt work for your gearbox"...or "why cant i make french fries with gearbox oil"
Specific products are made for specific purposes!
(and to cheer her up, dress her up in a pink tutu and play her britney spears music...then put on some green lipstick and give her a nice big kiss on her sexy armadillo lips! )
2006-09-25 08:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jazz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For god's sake, don't you think it is called TURTLE wax for a reason.... would you wash your hair with dog shampoo??
Try singing metallica to her and feeding her ikura nigiri, that should put her right in no time.
2006-09-25 08:32:56 · answer #7 · answered by HP 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you really put yourself in it this time. how could you diss the armo like that man? you need to apologise to the armo, get down on your hands and knees.
2006-09-25 08:37:29 · answer #8 · answered by katz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋