available. i myself hate drugs and think that they are a waste of time and money. i have recently expressed my opinions after trying for a long time to ignore the problem. he became angry and i asked him to choose between the drugs and me. however he said he would not change, as why should he give up something that he finds fun and enjoyable.
i have now been left to make a difficult decision between my beleifs and my boyfriend whom i am very much in love me. i dont know how i would cope without him but his behaviour puts me off.
ny suggestions would be helpful as i am very confused right now.
2006-09-25 00:57:08 · 20 answers · asked by Kelly S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i forgot to mention that when i met him he only occasionally smoked pot and i decided i could live with that, but it has got worse and he now lives with his friend who in my opinion has been the main reason he is a heavy user now and experiments with other things.
2006-09-25 01:07:42 · update #1
The guy is bad news for you, OK…
The longer you stay with him… the worse it is going to get for you.
Stay with him, you will find yourself becoming his meal ticket…
When he needs drugs, he’ll expect you to sell yourself to get them !!!
The decision you have been left to make is not a difficult one, if you value who you are as a person.
If you stay in the relationship you will find yourself losing all self-respect, and you will be the target of his repeated abuse.
Is that what you deserve for yourself???
I appreciate you really care about him, but you need to realise that the longer you stay with him… the easier you are making it for him to not give up the drugs.
Believe it or not, the best thing you can do for your boyfriend, is to dump him.
If he really cares about you… he will get help to beat his drug problem.
Don’t sell yourself short.
You coped well before him…
You will cope even better without him…
You owe it to yourself to try !!!
2006-09-25 01:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you don't want that in your life. I used to date (and was engaged) to a guy who tried to stop smoking weed. He also spent about $60 or more in bars weekly on beer alone and kept beer in the fridge. I HATE weed and daily drinking. I am so glad that we broke up because I don't want that in my life at all. My husband doesn't touch any drugs or alcohol and that is so great. I know people are human but I think it is so weak to have such a habit. Sorry, I just do. So my suggestion since I've been where you are is to remain his friend but NOT his girl. Bless you darling. There is a cleaner man out there just for you. Don't be afraid.
2006-09-25 08:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that it bothers you to see him waste his money,time, and health on these issues. It could soon turn into more then weed. If you are so uncomfortable, you must learn to trust your instincts. Don't be a follower. You do not sound very confused ither. You sound like you know what you have to do. If you do love him, let him go. If he truely loves you, he will try to make you happy too. By not destroying his health. You sound like a very bright person!!! Your on the right track! Don't be afraid to leave...you were looking for a boyfriend when you found him ..right?
2006-09-25 08:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by RainyDay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you marry, do you want children? If so, you certainly do not want to have a child with a drug user or even a heavy ex-drug user because your newborn child could be retarded, deformed, ACHD, or so many other defects. Even if children are not in your plan, can you imagine socializing with your co-workers and having your dead-head husband there to embarrass you with odd or off-the-wall comments? Plus, he will never get motivated to fix up your house, to mow the grass and garden, and so on. He will just want to be plastered to the sofa on drugs. No intellect, no normalcy, no life.
2006-09-25 08:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by RKC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's something you do not approve of, and he is not going to stop, you need to really ask yourself... Is this a person you are willing to spend the rest of your life with and maybe bring kids into the world with. Him doing drugs is not fair to you, and if he knows how much you dislike it, and refuses to stop, that's disrespecting you.
It sounds like you have made up your mind, it just sounds like you are at a point where you don't know when to make that jump. Do what's best for you.
2006-09-25 08:03:58 · answer #5 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having "issues" with his behavior now try to imagine how you will feel in a few weeks/ months if you stay with hiim. Your resentment will grow and your self esteem and confidence will be destroyed. Tell yourself you deserve better and find someone who respects themselves AND your feelings. Stop sacrificing yourself just to have a boyfriend. Yes, breakups are hard but I promise you things will only get worse - and fast.
2006-09-25 08:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by cookiewurks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him one more time why you think he needs to stop using drugs. Tell him you would be willing to do whatever it takes to help him stop. If he still is unwilling to stop...DUMP THE LOSER!!!!!!!
You are worth being with someone who would be a good husband. A good husband would never do anything that would hinder himself from taking care of his family. If he thinks doing drugs are okay, something is really wrong with him.
2006-09-25 08:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by Jaedyn=God has heard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted help,i know you would have stand by his side and help him with his drugs habits. But here it is obvious he doesn't want to get out of it even at the risk of losing you. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help himself but surely you can help yourself by getting out of this relationship before it's too late.
I thinks that will be the best for you and your future or you will find yourself on a bed of thorns.
Just get away from him for yourself.
2006-09-25 08:04:18 · answer #8 · answered by Saphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uuummmm...I don't see this working out long-term. So, you going to stick it out for a while and end up without him or are you going to cut your losses now?
You gave him a choice: you or the drugs. He picked the drugs and then laid a guilt trip on you. Nice.
2006-09-25 08:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by just browsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been there. It is a horrible choice to have to make. For your own good, please leave him. I married mine and spent 10 long miserable years feeling like I was lacking somehow. We never had any money because he always spent it on drugs. I spent nine months of pregnancy worried sick that his drug abuse would cause some abnormality in our child.Sometimes I had to go to my friends for food. Please don't put yourself through it. You cannot change him!
2006-09-25 08:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by bookfreak2day 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋