We broke up a month ago and we keep in contact and go out for a drink every few days. She has a child from a previous relationship, I would adopt this child. She's the love of my life. I have to get her back...help
2006-09-25 00:47:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We broke up a month ago, It devastated me. We were great together, then she said she didn't feel the same way as when we 1st met. The infactuation fades but then love deepens No???She has a child from a previous relationship. I'm willing to adopt the child. This is the love of my life. I'll die for her...She's my everything. I want me to be hers. We were going to open our own business, A B&B. We see eachother regularily and go out for drinks every few days, take the kid to the park/beach. I've told her all this. She saw someone for 4 days a couple of weeks ago but he messed her around. It hurt but hey, I always said to her that if she wanted to do something, I wouldn't stop her or try control her. Pls help me....
2006-09-25 01:08:14 · update #1
theres a reason that the two of you broke up.remember what that reason is. you can't get her back if she's unwilling.
2006-09-25 00:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to an exclusive restaurant and arrange that a kurier service delivers her wedding ring (that you have bought) directly to your table between sweet and coffee.
Then to celebrate: a good brandy with the coffee and maybe a bouquet of flowers...also delivered from the florist direct to your table.
If she says no then, then do not despair. Cool it off, do as though you are not really bothered and that will bother her so much she will make advance towards you! Give her time!
Try it ..who knows!
2006-09-25 00:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Gary H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the relationship end in the first place? Curious to know.
Well here is your answer...
To get back your ex, they need to want to be gotten back. That's an awkward sentence but my point is that, until they want to be with you, nothing you do is going to help you get back together.
Further, unless they want to be with you, any attempt on your part to encourage them to come back is actually going to drive them further away. For example, if you were to write a romantic poem with the intention of softening their heart, they are likely to interpret your poetry as needy and it will repel them making getting them back less likely. I could go on with more examples, put this is probably pretty intuitively true to you... especially if you've tried something similar and didn't get the reaction you expected.
To summarize this phenomena let's say that the harder you push to get your ex back, the harder they resist getting back together. In my book, I call this the "push and pull." If they don't want to get back together, when you "push" them to get back together, they "pull" further away. The more attempts you make, the more distance there is between the two of you, and the less likely you are to get back together.
The common ideas that people have about getting back an ex involve heavy "pushing." Writing notes, using reason and logic, giving gifts, explaining your love for them, and acting depressed about the break up, are all going to force your ex to "pull" back. Using these methods is like shooting yourself in the foot. The intention is well-meaning but it will backfire on you.
Fortunately, there is a way to sidestep the "push and pull." The push and pull is the result of your ex having low level of attraction and desire to be with you. Only by raising this level of attraction will you be able to disable the pattern.
But, raising attraction is a difficult, complex thing to do - even when two people are together.
There are some very specific things that you can do to get back with your ex but they don't involve any of the commonly used approaches. Instead, the focus is on raising attraction so that the desire to be with you is there. Once you are at this point, getting back together is a natural, easy thing to do.
2006-09-25 01:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your night, have fun, and don't think about that in advance... It is really hard to say without knowing you, but I know that words mean little, unless she is already ready for your words... That sounds like nonsense, but what I am saying is that girls don't go out with people just to hear nice things, they want fun, companionship, confidence, smiles... all the good stuff...
So do that first, the words will come.
2006-09-25 00:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jeremy D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with her and tell her what you've said here. Say that you'd love to have her and her child back (include the child..trust me) Say that if it's time she needs then you'll give it to her. Tell her how much you love going out with her. Tell her how much you love spending time with her and her kid. Mention that you don't want to be pushy though. Woman don't like pushy men. Well I don't anyways. Include that child though if you are that serious. She'll really appreciate that.
2006-09-25 01:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe over dinner you could talk about the reasons for your breakup and ask her if she would consider giving the relationship another try. It sounds as if you are serious about her and willing to commit to her and her child. You might want to talk about the depth of your feelings for her and mention the word commitment and what it means to you with regard to a lifelong relationship with her and the child.
2006-09-25 00:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what is holding her back from making a committment with you, you might want to try and change whatever it is that is holding her back. And go from there. Also, you might want to find out what her feelings are. She must feel something for you if she is going out with you. Good Luck.
2006-09-25 00:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just buy a ring and poped the question will you marry me? is easy and 100% she will say "yes" so treat her well bring her to a nice restaurant and just be honest tell her that you want to expend the rest of your life with her if you are sincere everything will come easy.
2006-09-25 01:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her ur feeling.
2006-09-25 00:49:38 · answer #9 · answered by behnoush_k_1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should tell her how you feel ... why did you break up in the first place?
2006-09-25 00:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by Azureskies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋