I asked Satan if he had any vacancies, but he told me to go to Heaven. Now what should I do?

Question

I'm gonna need a place to stay in the hereafter, but nobody wants me. I feel so dejected. An eternity is a long time to be homeless.

Answer 1

HA HA!

Answer 2

I know the feeling. As the old saying goes...Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I will take over. Why not instead of worrying about the hereafter now, find a way to believe in something. I can't say for sure there is a god...but I believe there is a higher power. Therefore if there is a god, ok...I'm covered. If there is aliens, I'm still good. If there is nothing ok too.

Answer 3

In ancient Jewish tradition Satan is simply an angel doing the work that God assigned to Satan to do.

The word Satan means challenger. With the idea of Satan challenging us, or tempting if you will. This description sees Satan as the angel who is the embodiment of man's challenges. This idea of Satan works closely with God as an integral part of Gods plan for us. His job is to make choosing good over evil enough of a challenge so that it becomes clear to us that there can be only one meaningful or logical choice.

Contrast this to Christianity, which sees Satan as God's opponent. In Jewish thought, the idea that there exists anything capable of setting itself up as God's opponent would be considered polytheistic or setting up the devil to be an equally powerful polarity to god or a demigod.

Oddly, proof for The Christian satan/devil mythology is supposedly found in the ancient Jewish texts that were borrowed to create the bible. One can’t help but wonder how Christians came up with such a fantastically different interpretation of Gods assistant Satan in their theology.

Other hints about Satan’s role in human relations can be seen if you look at the name Lucifer. It meaning in the original tongue translates as Light bearer or light bringer. Essentially the bringer of enlightenment. The temptations of the Satan idea bring all of us eventually into Gods light. Hardly the Evil entity of Christian mythology.

Love and blessings
don

Answer 4

I had a dream that I went to heaven to find all the soccer greats like Beckham and Pele. I thought of taking on the Devil.But he told me I had buckley's chance of winning -he had all the referees.

Answer 5

Wow, you are in a bad place. I don't thing God will let you in if you really don't want to be there. I think there's a bench outside the gates of heaven where you could crash...at least I think there is.

Answer 6

There is only one reason why satan doesnot wants some body, they are too good so that they will spoil the devotees of satan. If that is the reason that the satan rejects you then the heaven is the welcome place to you, there will be a queue to welcome you. All the best.

Answer 7

You can not go to Heaven since you were assigned to Hell, just get into the line and wait for your turn ! Got it !

Answer 8

Just be grateful that you have life here on earth, and don't worry about the hereafter. No matter what happens, you will be ready. ;-)

Answer 9

Satan doesnt really give up so easily so we dont believe you..
Worship the trinity is what to do....God wants ppl who care

Answer 10

Satan doesn't put you in HELL but God Does so you've asked the wrong one. Satan lied to you. Don't never listen to the Father of lies and liars.
=

Answer 11

My brother, have you heard of the Flying Speghetti Monster?

Through him you can have salvation, and you will have a volcano of beer and strippers!


http://www.venganza.org/


RAmen!