Does this type of mother-in-law sound annoying?

Question

My mother-in-law is a complete alcoholic control freak. Normally she is 2000 miles away from us so I am not too bothered but:: I feel her presence even when she is not here. I have a career. In addition, my husband and I exercise at least 30 hours a week (bike riding, jogging) what have you. We also have a side business to help us hopefully one day retire. My husband also likes to do outside activities like go to plays, symphonies, or whatever. What I am trying to say is that we are very busy. We have a hard time taking off work for vacation but we try twice a year (one major, and one minor). However my mother-in-law thinks we should spend our vacation with her even though her husband (she has never worked) is retired. I try to give her this time. However she turns sometimes into a complet witch! I also feel her presence in my house every day because she is a big chef (she has the time) and my husband tries to be this way too. Our kitchen is alway messy and I am exhausted

Answer 1

it would seem your husband has chosen a wife not unlike his mother,both outspoken,both headstrong and both who love him,,for her 2000 miles wil be a long way and yes you are busy but i doubt she actually realises how much,,her life at home is very different from yours,you go to see her in her home and it probably is strange,,for both the women in his life,,if you feel your m,in law at your home even if she isnt there it would seem you are mentally letting her in so can you maybe make the cooking time about you and your hubby,,cook together,make the kitchen a place where you both feel at home,,and if he can cook better than you,make it a fun learning lesson,even 'have some fun' in there too,give you and he the right to your own home with some memories that can be triggered in that special way,,for you to feel this way is not good but i doubt your hubby truly understands the feeling of invasion,,the mess you will have to talk to him about but the mother in law,,either talk to her,,really get some good conversations going,,try to get a little more emotionally closer to her,,she may actually feel like the one on the outside,you and he are successful and dont have the time to be close as she may want you both to be,,this may come accross as domineering but if she is a woman used to getting her own way she may not use the time she does have with you and your husband ,very constructively.she isnt going to go away so to keep yourself sane ,,try to get on with her ,have a laugh with her,try to get to know her as a person and not THE MOTHER IN LAW ,,

Answer 2

well i got it just as bad my mother inlaw hated me from day one and i aint use to being hated but she told me the reason why she hates me is cuz i am white and i feel i try and bend over backwards for me to be liked by her it is very inportant to me normally if it was some one on the out side i wouldnt care but it puts my hubby and my 6 yr old son in the middle i wish she could just open her eyes to see what a good person i am and i would not hold her from seeing my son cuz he is not a weapon so what should i do?

Answer 3

Yes! She sounds very annoying. But if your husband allows her to be a control freak in your lives, it will not change. You need to have a discussion with your hubby about how you feel, or it is going to effect your marriage.

Answer 4

What do you mean you feel her presence? Is your husband an alcoholic and a slob? I don't quite know what your asking people to answer.

Answer 5

Um yes she does sound annoying. In experience from my mother (who is insane) I've learnt that you just need to do things your way. If you dont have time, so be it, dont stress yourself out over people. Only you. Youre living your life, not hers.

Answer 6

Damn, join a 12 step group just tp get out of the house.

Answer 7

Tell him to clean up his mess or your going to hire someone for him to pay. But mother-in-law r not you have to make sure u please him. you didn't marry her you married him. I have been married 13 1/2 years and my mother-in-law is well let's say you have a saint but we love each other and when made our vows our parents were not standing behind us with "I do, too"

Answer 8

well my wife found out with my mom if she had just told her to go to h-e-l-l things would have been better off but my mom made her life a hell till we just stopped going to her house and having her to our house she got the message and settled down just tell your mother in law my house my rules and stick to it tell hubby you made the mess you clean it up

Answer 9

Wise up and go on a vacation. Your MIL can cook in her own kitchen.

Answer 10

Why dont the 2 of you start cooking together ?

And its all in the mind.. Psychologically make your self strong!

Thats about it buddy!