I am a single parent of a 16 year old girl, she is doing welll, no major problems?

Question

She has a drivers licence, no boyfriends, no problems with alcohol or drugs, great student, We are very close almost like best friends, It feels abnormal and I feel so fortunate, Sometimes she is so close that I need a break and I feel guilty. How do I take a healthy break without hurting her feelings. ????

Answer 1

Whereas its really nice that you and your daughter get on so well..and its great for you as a parent that she has no obvious vices...don't you think its a bit unhealthy for her and you to be so dependant on each other...don't get me wrong, I don;t wish to insult you, but she is a teenager and doesn't sound at all like one...I have a 16 yr old daughter, great grades at school, had a boyfriend for the past 7 months (in and out of love more times than I've had hot dinners the two of them), but she does have her moments when she sprouts horns out of her head and is a bit vile...I see it as being a teenager, I know she loves me and she know I love her but she does have her own life..How would either of you cope if you were separated? What would she do or what would you do if, heaven forbid, either of you died? I don;t think you should feel guilty at all for wanting space, I think the pair of you need to celebrate you love and closeness but also have your own lives....who knows she may be thinking exactly the same thing as you are but not know how to tell you!! I think as you are both so close it would be easy to have a little chat with her about how you are feeling or write her a letter....Sure things will be cool for you too and just be glad you have each other whilst living your own lives too.xx

Answer 2

I would encourage her to invite her friend to meet at the movies etc,,and I would slowly pull away ,but be careful ,my son now 20 was like that and he was so hurt because he and I done it all together and when I met someone he has had a hard time since he was 14 with it ,But you need to just say hey lets do something fun lets have family night together and pick things you will enjoy doing and maybe that may help ,but get her into a small part time job ,she needs to pull away and have a life of her own some now ,is she shy ?I would just suggest her getting a part time job or anything that will give her something to do ,like visit the elderly in nursing homes read to them and some of the dont ever have a visitor ,come up with some thing to get her more out there with her age ,I wish you the best because raising children is very hard ,

Answer 3

That is just like my mom & I but I needed breaks too :o)

I would try to get her involved in something with school - sports or clubs or if she is not into that - see if you can get her to join something in your town that she may like - even if it is volunteer work, etc. I am not sure if she is working or not but maybe a part time job would help her meet some new people and give you that alone time that you need. Maybe set aside certain nights for the two of you and on the other nights -- make some plans and just let her know that mom needs some mom time - to not be mom all of the time -

Sounds like she did not do that teenage thing that most kids do when they turn on their parents and don't want them anywhere around.. haha - but really. One day - she will leave the nest though but it does make sense that you need your space - we all need time to ourselves.. escpecially being a single mom - you need some time to have fun - you need that break cause you work so hard.

Maybe to start with - when you are not going to be with her, make plans so you are out of the house with friends or something so she gets used to you not being around on those nights or something - ease her into it. She needs a hobby - something she likes to do. It is fortunate that you two are so close but I understand where you are coming from -

Hopefully one of those suggestions helps ~ good luck!!

Answer 4

Probably do it in a transitional sort of way. Is there any way you can take a vacation under the guise of a business retreat? That way, you can go spend some time alone.

Your own personal heath is a priority and that would qualify as a business retreat if you want to split hairs.

Perhaps you can find a friend to go with and make it look like the friend suggested it and you thought it would be a good way to also "test how responsible she is" when it comes to being alone or without you for short periods of time.

You could put it under the guise of prepping her for when she has to go to college and where she'll be away from you. She'll need practice.

Answer 5

U are one lucky person. Thank God for that. However your daughter needs to lead her own life, make her own friends. Invite her close friends over, encourage them to go out and in short lead her own life. Do not take a break till she has formed a group of like minded person. She must not feel abandoned. Count your blessings and be thankful.

Answer 6

You are lucky one then what is the major problem man
You are already close to her
So asked about her love
and his future plans
her marriage interst
then solve it as per her desire by keeping an eye on that right or wrong be 100 % with you doughter .
Best of Luck

Answer 7

Oh my, you are one of few. Join a group or club or activity that doesnt allow minors to be there. If a holiday is what you insisted on, then you might have to wait tell she is 18, unless you go with a friend, and then plan something special with your daughter when you get back. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Go out the same time your daughter is away with her friends. Let her know as a young woman she should understand you need time for yourself. Encourage her to go out with her friends or see if she may be interested in a guy. She should be out on her own more as she's not a child and must start to pursue her own life.

Answer 9

I had to wait till mine got his own love life. I think kids of single parents sometimes feel responsible for their mums or dads happiness. Maybe you could encourage her to spend the odd night at her friends house.

Answer 10

well mayb u can get to stay with ur relatives or mayb her best fren just tell her tat u ll be outting with some old frenz just a fews days and not very appropreate for her to follow

or just have a chat wif her tell her how u feel or ask her how she feels i guess she ll be u'standing since she is not a problematic teen.....dun worry im sure she ll u'stand .....