there seems to just be too many inconsistencies or maybe im overreacting. If she is hiding something from me i would appreciate she just be completeley open and then we take it from there. It would atleast put my mind at ease. im no angel and yes i've misbehaved, but ive always been open and upfront . Should i monitor or spy on her. i dont have time for that. What should i do?
2006-09-24 17:44:25 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would go with your gut feeling. Confront her seriously, if you feel she is not telling the truth, then move on. You can't spend the rest of your days always worrying.
2006-09-24 17:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Go Longhorns! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your place before. And it really sucks, i know. Having that doubt can put a tremendous strain on the relationship. And unless you know for a fact, with proof and everything, that she's up to no good, then your suspicion is probably just insecurity. Also, I've learned that if you have made mistakes in the past with her, then you will be more suspicious of her making the same mistakes. It's human nature to do this. But as for spying on her...don't. First of all, it never leads to any good. If you're wrong, you feel like s*** cuz you violated her privacy. And if you're right, you still feel like s*** cuz you found something. I've been on both sides of this, and the only way to truly get to the bottom of this, is tell her how much you value honesty & loyalty in your relationship and lately you don't feel like you're getting that. And that's hindering us from moving forward with each other.
Hope this helped. Good luck.
2006-09-24 17:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by twilightgoddes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In response to that last answer, no most girls aren't getting 'boned' behind their partners backs.
I thought my boyfriend was hiding something from me cos of inconsistencies in stories he told me. I eventually discovered that he wasn't lying he was just overexaggerating things to sound good but then kept tripping himself up. He obviously wasn't going to admit to me that he bent the truth slightly. People do tell little lies or bend the truth but for a number of reasons, this doesn't necassarily mean she is cheating on you. I think if she is cheating on you then its not hard to miss. If she is obviously not cheating on you then my advise would be to just let it go, enjoy the relationship and dont think too hard about it all. If it turns out you were wrong about her and she was lying to you then your not a bad person for having trusted someone. We all have to do it sometimes and sometimes we get burned but thats what life is all about, taking risks.
2006-09-24 18:03:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jo W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust her then you need to sit down and talk about it. Otherwise, you risk things building up and boiling over. I would not recommend spying on her unless she is cheating. Just clear the air - it will be better in the end
2006-09-24 18:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by leos1964 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS WILL BE VERY HARD TO DO AND I UNDERSTAND BUT..
this is the right thing to do; you feel that you are losing trust in her because your instincts are letting you know that she is getting ready to move on. i have had this happen to me many times and i have ready many books about dating advice. YOU KNOW that this relationship is falling out of your controll. the ONLY way you can get controll back is to tell her "this is not working out and it is time for me to move on." be firm and never call her again or show her those "wuss-bag" feelings that we both know you want to cling to. if you do this and you are a man about it then there is a chance she will want to come back to you in the future. but there is also a chance that she wont. regaurdless, you know she is going to end it soon (because that IS what your intuition is telling you) and you must end it so that you can keep your dignity and not hert so bad when she ends it with you.
SHE IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU. she is probably already cheating on you.
do it to her before she can do it to you. the hurt of getting broken up with is much worse when the other party does it to you. LIFE IS NOT A SOAP OPERA. LIFE IS NOT A LOVE STORY. YOU MUST LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF ABOVE ALL OTHERS.
do this for yourself, keep yourself esteem, and move on to a new girl that will not leave you with this feeling that is making you question yourself.
and remember: YOU CAN NOT CHANGE OTHERS (and that includes your girlfriend) ONLY YOURSELF.
and DONT LOOK TO ANYBODY BESIDES YOUR SELF (and maybe god) FOR WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT AND WRONG.
im done ranting now. you know what must be done. stand up for all of us men and don't make the wuss-bag mistakes most of us do. have some self respect and controll your own destiny. you only live once and your time is too important to spend with a girl that is making you feel this way.
oh and one more thing, by clinging to her you are only minipulating yourself and her. love and trust go hand and hand. sounds to me like you are becoming jealous or covetous of her because you KNOW that she is going to leave you soon.
stand up for yourself man. DONT deni your own intuition. you should FIGHT for your intuition not ingnore it for the sake of a girl.
2006-09-24 18:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by Matt G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you should do is spy on her, because thats a sure end to your relationship. If you really feel like something may be going on, confront her. You don't want a relationship based on secrets or distrust.
2006-09-24 17:46:14 · answer #6 · answered by ladyladance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a relationship there two thing you need to have .. One is loyal and the other is trust.. Without that there is no point of having a relationship with this partner.. If you feel that your girlfriend is not being honest with you, talk to her about it....Sometimes we really don't know what you guys are thinking... And if you still think that she is not honest then I suggest a breakup because without trust or loyal there really is no point of having a relationship with your girlfriend...
2006-09-24 17:47:31 · answer #7 · answered by funkysha916 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you're saying you want a wreck to be youthful and see what you want and tell her to do the comparable...in case you want to come again after the wreck then do yet once you dont then clarify to her the type you experience.
2016-10-17 22:21:27 · answer #8 · answered by grewe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no don't spy you might get just want you have been thinking. if their isn't trust there y'all should end the relationship. maybe she isn't doing anything maybe you are overreacting. but if she is doing something maybe she is afraid of what you would do or say just sit down with her and ask her
2006-09-24 17:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say you've misbehaved and told her, well at least you were honest. if you have cheated on her maybe she is getting one back on you or maybe your just paranoid because of your misbehavings and think she will do the same.
2006-09-24 18:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by kunt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋