2006-09-24 16:22:02 · 8 answers · asked by shelbybutta 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He is going to stay around for sure. He's is very excited about being a good dad. It is my fault that he hasn't been in his life. I had some paternity issues.
My son has never asked any questions about who his dad is or where he is. This will all be very new to him.
2006-09-24 16:32:20 · update #1
At 4, they understand the concept of a Mommy and a Daddy. Has he asked questions about him? What has been your answers? I think it's really a good thing he is meeting his dad now. 4 is still young and his father can make an important start with being a part of his life. I think all children should know who their parents are even if one or the other isn't or isn't going to be or hasn't been a part of that childs life.
I think you should just be straight forward with him. He's 4 and will understand that he's his "Dad" because I'm sure he know what dad means (via- friends, tv/cartoons, or other family members with both Moms & Dads there). Go with your heart and chose the words you feel fit best, be sensitive though. Because he's going to feel sensitive about it also. Expect lots of questions to follow the first "meeting" of his father. They're curious and want to know it all at that age. Good Luck! I'm sure it'll go alright.
2006-09-24 16:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by JB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slowly , gradual visits , let them play form a bond , the more pressure you put on the situation the harder it will be, My daughter had her father come into her life at the same age, unfortunetly he didnt stick around. As for telling her he was her father we were honest and tryed to explain as best we could , my daughter hadnt asked about her father up to that point either , it wasnt something she missed because she had never had a father around. It's now she is turning 5 she is starting to ask questions because her friends have dads that live with them.I think your doing it at just the right age.
2006-09-24 18:58:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I suppose what you say now depends a lot on what you've already told your son about his father. You must've told him something! You'd better sit him down and tell him the truth. If you've been lying to him, apologize, explain why you lied and then tell the truth. Answer any questions he has about his father. If you have a picture to show him, do it. Now he'll know what his father looks like. Have his father speak briefly to him on the phone. Now he'll know what he sounds like. When you are all in the same room, answer questions honestly, encourage questions and don't try to force a relationship. If it's going to happen, let it develop naturally between father & son.
If his father isn't committed to being a part of his son's life, don't even introduce him.
2006-09-24 16:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say son, this is your biological father and he's very excited to meet you.
Most 4 year olds don't really care and once he warms up to the man, he'll be fine.
It's helpful if the dad brings something they can do together, just the two of them without you being there. Like play catch or candyland or something. Something to bond over.
2006-09-24 16:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is best to tell him the truth. I have a 4 yr old son too that lives with me and his brothers and current b-friend. He calls my b-friend dad because he see his own father may once a year. But I have explained it to him that it is not his father. He is the father of my other kids. Be truthful, kids that age do understand. Good Luck
2006-09-24 16:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by Atlanta's Finest 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 4 and her bio-father is trying to get back in her life now as well. To her, she is just a guy who wants to play and that's how we keep it. We make sure that she calls him what she wants to, sees him when she wants to, if he is willing, and we let her take control of it. She calls my husband daddy and she calls him by his name.
As long as your son is comfortable, that is what matters. They will come to their own conclusion when they are ready, until then, let him make any decisions on who this man is.
2006-09-24 18:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by Kelli R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him i guess. What have you been telling 4 da past years.
2006-09-24 16:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Diamond 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure the piece of crap is going to stick around before you say this is your daddy
2006-09-24 16:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by ld 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋