Is it a good idea to adopt an older child?

Question

I am 25 years old and my husband is 32 years old. We have been married for one year and would like to start a family.
We have made a mutual agreement that we would like to adopt children instead of having our own.
In the past month, We have visited 2 orphanages and we have contacted a few adoption agencies.
We have seen some older children who need families and some toddlers. We have not seen any infants and the agency has only sent us refferals for older children. My husband and I discussed this over and over and we are considering adopting an older child but have a few concerns.
One of our major concerns is that we will not have the same bond with the child in the future because we weren't there for him or her from the start.

At the orphanage, we really connected with a 5 year old boy. He was so sweet and I fell in love with him immediately.

Are there any people out there who have adopted older children?
If so, any advice for me or things I should know about/consider?

Answer 1

older children are less likely to get adopted from what i am told...so go grab that littl boy and live him to death!

Answer 2

Do it. Do it. You connected with the 5 year old for a reason...Destiny? God's Will? Just Do It...adopt him.

Not to discourage you but there are definite advantages to adopting an older child. These advantages are also disadvantages. No diapers (saves you money) no potty training (saves your nerves and stress levels) and no formula (saves you time and money) but by losing all of these you do lose the quiet snuggle time in the middle of the night during feeding and the firsts like first words and first steps. I admire you a great deal for being so giving. I think you are amazing for giving someone the opportunity to be loved and cared for and above all .... wanted . Everyone needs to know that they are important to someone and that they are loved. An older child would understand that they were chosen and probably feel more special now and in the future. They only real concern may be that an older child would need more attention than you may be prepared for because they may have been neglected or abused and have difficulty trusting.
May you find the answer you are looking for and live happily with your new child. Love, Luck and Happiness always.

Answer 3

There is certainly nothing wrong with adopting an older child, they need loving homes just as much as a younger child. Your connection will come due to love not how long you’ve had your child or how old he was when you got him. You have already said you felt a strong connection to him, I think this is the lord telling you this little boy is meant for you and your husband. He’d probably end up loving you more because you picked him when he was older; it’s a reality that most people want a baby or a child that is no older then 3 years.

So I think you and your husband should talk about it and go start the adoption processes and bring your son home.

Answer 4

I've never adopted a child, but I've worked with plenty of youth and teens in foster care who have watched much younger kids find homes while they've been passed over. Because of this, they sometimes have greater behavioral problems than a "normal" kid (though when you have a baby, you never know how they're gonna grow up anyway), but believe me, they will appreiate the fact that you wanted them more than anything else in their lives, and will be forever grateful for the new start you've given them. I think it's a commendable thing to do. If you'd like, you can try fostering an older child before making this decision.

Answer 5

It's definelty harder to adopt an older child. I don't know anybody who has adopted an older one, but I do believe they are the ones that really need to be adopted, that child will love you and you will form a bond, it may not be exactly the same bond but there will be a bond with him/her. That child will ever be greatful that you adopted him/her, when no body else wanted them. Older children are the hardest children to adopt out and because of that, a lot of older children remain in orphanges, foster homes.

Answer 6

I have not adopted but I think that you should definitely adopt older children. They are pure love at any age and need a loving family. I barely remember anything before I was 5 so it will be just perfect. Good Luck and love each other as much as you can!

Answer 7

Well I was in foster home after foster home and noone ever wanted any of the older children all the younger ones were laways going but us older ones needed to be loved to so I would adopt a older one there are advatages and dis- advantages either way an infiant when it is older you will have to explain adoptionand tell them he/she was adopted at least the older ones lready know.Well Good Luck! Hey 5 years old already potty trained!!

Answer 8

i have several friends that have adopted an older child and they have done well...it might be better from an orphanage cuz they haven't been home to home like they do in a foster care system...its sad really...what was great was the adoption hearing...they had a great judge and had the parents swear that they will take care of little Adam and Adam said that he will take care of his new parents it was so adorable...he was 4 when they adopted him...its so good of you to want to adopt there are so many children that need someone to love them....good luck and God bless

Answer 9

If you love or connected with that child, adopt him. Im sure he's not a handful.
Adopt him, you wont regret it. You are experiencing what my neighbour experienced two years ago.
She finally adopted a 4-year-old boy, James.

As all stories, they live happily ever after!

Answer 10

My mother met my "step"father when i was 4 years old, he raised us from that point on and adopted both of us. In our eyes he is the only father we ever have had and could not love him more. I do not think that it is the age of the child that matters, It is how much love and effort you put into your relationship.

Answer 11

Only adopt the older child if you really love them.