positive traits:
-he is caring and very aware of my needs
-he is communicative and works through things
-we have the same dreams in life
-the relationship is so 'normal', not all fantasy and that 'dizzy attravtion' that comes with many new relationships
-he gives me the attention I need
-he is accepting of what upsets me and is senstive to that
-he is wonderful to my daughter and patient with his own kids
-he has a playful, engergetic personality
-and many other wonderful things
negative things:
-he is blunt and when people are 'in his face' as he puts it, he gives it back full force and says that is good that certain people are scared of him (this is more of a co-worker thing in a negative working enviroment).
-He went a absurd after his ex wife left him
-he is blunt and says what he thinks, but sometimes I can't tell if he is joking or not...
MY QUESTION.. Am I sensing something... or am I scared to be happy as he is so gentle and loving with me?
2006-09-24 15:16:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you are just being paranoid. Obviously the good outweighs the bad. But if you have a gut feeling that something is not right then you should trust this feeling. Our guardian angels sometimes can't tell us something outright because we can't hear them so they give us this sixth sense.
Why don't you talk to him and let him know that sometimes he is so blunt that you can't tell whether he is joking or not. Tell him that it hurts your feelings and if he can be a bit softer when talking to you.
2006-09-24 15:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These negatives don't seem so distasteful. It's good he has the guts to tell it like it is. It serves no good purpose to sugar-coat the truth. It's called tough love.
He's in a hostile working environment. That armor coat is necessary. As long as he doesn't bring his work home with him you're all OK. What you may be sensing is his animal magnetism. A lion in the wild is a kitten when it comes to his own flesh and blood. But if outsiders approach they better watch out. As well they should. Boundary's. They crossed the line. Get out of my face. Then I can go back to being my own sweet self again.
The issues with the ex may need more time. You two have each other to work this through.
There are so many positives here that you are basking in a nice warm light. So tell him what's on your mind. He'll listen.
So long as he's not a chronic drinker or anything like that you won't have a thing to worry about.
2006-09-24 23:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "positive things" list honestly sound like the traits of a gay man. NOT that he is, but it did occur to me. Could it be that it's a "too good to be true" cynicism? Or that in becoming serious, there's a risk of it being more painful if the relationship goes south? I've been in both situations after the breakup long ago with a gal I loved deeply.
2006-09-24 22:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have these same worries sometimes about my fiance. Occasionally when I'm being paranoid I think it's my head telling me something's not quite right, but I think sometimes it's just a little bit frightening to be so happy and so completely loved, especially when you're not used to it. Just because we're not used to having a guy treat us the way we deserve to be treated, we get paranoid when it happens, and that's a little bit messed up.
Ask your friends what they think. They're usually close enough to the situation that they can see everything that's going right, but far enough removed to notice if there's something wrong. They'll have a gut feeling about him, and if their feelings about him are bad, it might be time to seriously evalute your relationship.
I hope it's not something serious. Good luck. :-)
2006-09-24 22:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly do you mean by "absurd", and how long ago was that? My opinion is that if you have a "leary" feeling, there's a reason. Maybe even something that you didn't list in your question(?). I'd go with my gut.
2006-09-24 22:25:49 · answer #5 · answered by victronia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy uses aggression to protect himself, provided he doesn't flip on you when he has an argument with you its fine. when you get divorced everyone goes nutty.
the work thing is a problem, because financially you will tied together and if he can hold a job because he cant get along with co workers
in a nutshell how does he handle fights with you?
2006-09-24 22:21:07 · answer #6 · answered by brinlarrr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you maybe alittle scared t fall in love with someone who cares about you so much.
I don't think you are sensing anything, no one is perfect...but can only be perfect enough for you.
2006-09-24 22:20:11 · answer #7 · answered by ♥mcmanda♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have to follw your instincts. What you are feeling now, is most likely correct. Or, even if it's not, if you were to continue this relationship, this feeling you are feeling would continue to underline your emotions when you are with him...and that's not fun.
2006-09-24 22:19:47 · answer #8 · answered by Kristi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well lady, you got lucky with guy...i've been with my fiancee for 5 years and he treats me like ****, he never pays attention to me, he gives me no attention, he swears at me in front of his kids, he never makes time for me, he dismisses me, he belittles me, he takes advantage of me when I'm upset to make me feel even more worthless, he does not see me as a priority in his life...now who do you think should be leary about their relationship? me or you? You are totally lucky. trust me.
2006-09-24 22:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by Lucy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks to me that the positives out number the negatives...you do the math.
2006-09-24 22:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by Han Solo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋