Ive been a single parent before, but now I am a single mother of twins since they were 3 months old, daddy hasnt been back since. They are nearly 2, in Nov. And I am about to go insane, they gang up on me, throw out rageous tantrums, I would love to go to work and get away a few hours a day, but I have to daycare, and with two its twice as expensive, what do I do? How do I handle twins that are starting there terrible twos and I am on my own on this ????
2006-09-24 14:59:37 · 10 answers · asked by butterflycassandra 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Look in your yellow pages. Find Family and Children Services or Head Start Services. They pay for your child care, offer parenting courses on how to cope/deal and can help you with other needs such as finances, vehicles, and what not. It's truly a great place, I interned at one and absolutely loved it!!!
They also offer job services for the parents, and a library and what not...
GO FOR IT!!!
2006-09-24 15:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is going thru almost the same thing except not with twins. It is very hard on her and I live 200 miles away from her and can only go to help her every few months. Isn't there anyone near you that can help you just 2 or 3 days a week? It is overwhelming when there are 2 kids at that age throwing the tantrums, etc. Sometimes Social Service in your area can provide some help. The things is that if you don't get some type of relief from the kids every now and then you will let up on the discipline (especially when the tantrums come about) and things will just get worse. They will learn that they can get away with anything. Where is the father? I certainly hope you are getting some type of compensation from him for his kids. If you aren't you need to contact Social Services if just for that reason. It is the law that he is to provide support for his kids.
I know I haven't been of much help. This time will pass and you will survive but I know how hard it is on a Mom. Good Luck!
2006-09-25 01:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Twos are bad enough with just one kid, but two, I can't imagine! I'm not a parent, but I was hoping I could help. Is there maybe a friend or family member nearby that can help you out? If not, try looking up some places on the net to see what might help. As for the tantrums, sometimes you just have to let them throw it, but don't give in. Eventually they will realize you aren't going to give in to whatever they want, and they'll stop. If you don't want to wait for that to take place, maybe a treat based on behavior on a daily basis? It doesn't have to be anything big, but maybe something as simple as a piece of candy. Teach them that if they are good, they get the treat. If not, then they don't. It gives them something to work toward and over time being good would become natural and you could slowly work away from the "treats" so that they don't always expect that.
2006-09-24 15:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by Holly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need NANNY 911.....
Actually I feel for you. I have a young sister in college working on her masters degree. She's going to school and raising four children on her own (3 of them are under 5). Ages are 3 months, 2 years, 5 years and 15 yrs. She feels like she's going crazy sometimes. I don't know how anyone does it with twins...but being a single mom is hard. I have only one, but she can be a handful. Anyhow, I think there are some organizations that can help . Do some calling around and see what might be available...headstart, etc.
2006-09-24 15:17:06 · answer #4 · answered by Grace A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what state your from but in the state of Vermont there's a program called The Respite Program.
this program is for the disabled and overwhelmed.
they take children into a respite (pronounced: reh-spit) home for the day or even a weekend or more. you would set this up with your respite worker. they go to a respite home and you get a break all at the states expense.
they don't always take kids that are not disabled in some way but will help a single parent with multiple children.
you could probably find out if there is a program like this through your state welfare department.
i hope i helped in some way.
good luck.
2006-09-24 15:13:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you able to rope in family or friends to help you with respite on a friday or saturday night?
You might be surprised at how many people would love to look after a baby overnight. Seek out the spinsters.
In Australia we have a respite program for mothers undoing stress and who need a break from their kids. The government pays for the care. It's about 26 24hour care blocks.
Is there any such program in your area?
2006-09-26 05:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by gideon9595 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go buy the Book "SUPER NANNY" who is Jo Frost-costs about 1617 dollars but is a excellent child rearing guide and have watched her show on TV where he deals with behaviours like you are experiencing-kids ganging up on the mother and even hitting. First you have to let them know Boundaries and limits and Be Consistent-also did Therapeutic Foster Care for many years and being consistent is most important. Make a Naughy Place for each child -a area where they will go when they behave badly and Label it NAME'S Naughty Place then tell it is time they learned appropriate behaviours and when they act bad they have to go to the Naughty place and the irst time they do out in . You'll have to more than likey spend a lot of energy at first for they will not stay but you have to keep putting in until they do-it is important you do this-You made a rule and now they have to follow and you have to stick withthe rule. You also need to direct how they spend their day-do not let them choose except during free time Go to www.wyethnutritional.com they will list toys and activities suitable for 2yr old and also behaviours. I'm sure they have set Nap times in the Am and again mid aftrnoon and again may take awhile with you constantly putting back into bedroom/bed but even though will be tiring at first the result is worth it. You also have to do activities with them and again all the time are being taught by you to behave and sent to Naughty place when they don't. Everything they do well or when they follow your directions you have to give them credit for-Positive Reinforcement-really make a big deal out of it-the brain will learn to send feel good hormones as it does to us all when we are praised,recognized for our efforts and the child will soon learn it likes this and will behave to feel good-also building their self esteem. But do get the book-its a wonderful common sense Guide to parenting. Good Luck
2006-09-24 15:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there.. the first thing you do is stop focusing on the things you "can't" do... You concentrate on the things you HAVE TO do. You have to provide for you kids. You will work on the details as needed.. Find a friend with a kid/kids. Maybe you can swap babysitting. Save both of you some money... One works nght.. one works days.
2006-09-24 15:08:54 · answer #8 · answered by limgrn_maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when my daughter was little i went to college full time. i had housing assistance, sucked it up and went on state aid, knowing that when i was done i would be paying taxes (instead of being a chronic user) and because of all of that the state paid for full time day care for her. now i have a son almost 2, and am going back to school again. ive been staying home with him, but it is now time for daycare for him, so he can learn more manners, how to sit through meals, social skills, etc., etc. our kids know us, know our weaknesses, and girl, although i would have loved twins i would not love to raise them myself (my sons dad is in iraq--but worthless regardless) if you want more info, email me. good luck & god bless!
2006-09-24 15:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by lisa a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hire a nanny to help out. daycare is about $220 a week per child. a nanny you can pay $350 and have her come to your house full time or parttime. apply for childcare assistance programs such as care for kids. this will help you pay the cost of childcare.
2006-09-24 15:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋