2 weddings in 1 year?

Question

I have 2 weddings to go to next year, my brother and sister and sister in law. Ok they are both a month apart. BUT the thing is, we are being stationed in Italy in May. And we can only go to one of them, but, we dont want to hurt the other either. How can I break it to them? Or should we just stay home? I'm SO FRUSTURATED

Answer 1

Wow, I'm bit surprised at some of the answers you've received. The way I see it is like this: you are being stationed in another country...there's nothing you can do about that! Military is military, and you don't have the option to not move!

These people are your family, and I'd hope that they'd be understanding enough to realize that you can make it to the first, but not the second...only because of your special circumstances. I mean, it's not like you're skipping out because of vacation, it's just that there's no bargaining with the military lifestyle!

Good luck hun, I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 2

I can understand your situation, being in the military makes it hard to go to events. I don't know what your leave situation and finances are like, but could you take a really long leave period, get there just in time for the first one, then stay til right after the second one? That is what people in my units have done when it was feasible. Otherwise, I would say, sit down with both couples and tell them that you cannot come to both, as much as you want to, and can only attend one of them. Then decide which wedding is the best one to go to, based on your situation. How difficult will it be to take leave for one vs the other, impact on your life, duties, family, deployment possibilities, etc. Once you decide whose wedding you are going to, tell them both that you are going to that one, explain why you chose that one, make plans to spend time with the other while there for the first. If they are not willing to understand your situation, then it is their loss that they can't understand the sacrifices that you are forced to make.

Answer 3

I don't think you can really pick between the two. I would send gifts to both of them and make a point to visit either before or after the weddings for support. They must be having something in common where they have a bridal shower or similar parties that are close together and you could attend those instead. Just a thought. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Sit down with both of them (or telephone each of them, if you have to) and have a heart-to-heart about the situation. Let them know what you are facing and your concerns and ask them what they would like. You probably won't be able to make everyone happy, but at least you'll know where you stand. If they are loving family, they should understand and help you brainstorm solutions.

My guess is that you will end up going to visit outside of the two weddings.

Answer 5

I think you should go to one. You don't have to explain yourself or pick a favorite. Pick the one that best fits your schedule and your budget, if that makes a difference.

I don't think either will be hurt when you tell them you can't come.

A similar situation here when a friend moved away and there were two weddings back here and he only came to one. It was not about playing favorites, it was about budget and scheduling. He was actually closer to the friend whose wedding he did not attend and I know she has never felt bad at all.

It would horrible to skip both and I'm sure neither couple would think of that as the best option.

Answer 6

First option go to both and explain your situation and how torn you are about it. To make it totally fair you could draw a name from a hat. Let the choice be fate of the draw.

Next, you could choose not to attend either wedding, but have them both video tape the ceremony and sent to you in Italy.

Third, if you give them enough time, One of the couples might be able to change the date of one of the ceremony to accomodate your attendance.

Answer 7

It might be easier and less likely to hurt anyone feelings if you didn't go to either, but then came to visit after the two and celebrate with them together at one time?? I don't know just an idea. That's a hard situation to be in.

Either way I think the one you choose to not go to will understand your situation. If you don't think they will understand or they will try to understand but will just be covering up the hurt feelings then I say don't go to either. Its not worth the family trouble.

Answer 8

Maybe say you can't make it to either of them and make a special flight home a month or so after or before both weddings, with gifts and love in hands. If you go before maybe there is something special you can do ahead of time to make their day perfect. Like helping them shop, prepare thanks you's for guests, make phone calls or count R.S.V.P. cards.

Answer 9

are you closer to your brother or your sister, if you just go to the one of the sibling that you are closer to, then explain it to the other one, I am sure they will understand... or just go to the 2nd one of them, and make sure that you take a gift for the first couple, but explain it before you leave that you are sorry, and that you really feel bad about it. Good Luck

Answer 10

I can understand being frustrated. They should be understanding of your situation and having to relocate to Italy. Go to what you can. Sit down with all of them at once and talk about it. They are your family and they will love you no matter what. Good Luck.