I am interested in this man. His friend brought him in to my workplace. He was really friendly and told his friend that he liked me and was going to ask me out. Him and this friend talk about me every day. I made them lunch, sent him a note, and send him messages with his friend. He tells this friend that these things make his day. He waves and smiles everytime I see him. This friend gave him my number and said he put it in his pocket and spent all day checking his pocket to make sure he hadn't lost it and would smile everytime he did it. A lot of my friends know him and say he's very shy. The signs and our friends say he likes me, but he won't approach me. What can I do to make him feel more comfortable around me?
2006-09-24 14:03:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To be shy is a bit hard to explain to someone who is not. He knows, from all the things you have done, that you like him. He clearly does like you.
But the one thing a shy person has the hardest time doing is talking to someone they really like. The reason is they don't want to screw it up. As easy as you make it for him he will still have doubts that what he thinks you feel and what you really feel are not the same. To talk to you puts him on the line. He must perform and he feels he must impress you or, like so many others, you will fade away.
I speak from experience. I was, and to some extent still am, shy.
A shy person seems to be aloof and may not really care if they talk to you or not. Nothing could be further from the truth. You can bet you are always on his mind. Always. But making that leap from hoping to reality is so very hard.
Most shy guys will talk with you if they know you are interested. If he feels for one moment, right or wrong, that you may not be he will clam up. It is all about how he feels about himself, nothing to do with you.
When in high school, very long ago, I never ask a girl out.
Why? I could not imagine why they would want to be seen out with me. And not asking was always much easier than taking the chance I would be turned down. I wanted a girlfriend so bad but not enough to take that chance I would be hurt.
This may be where he is. You have to be forward with him and tell him where you are at. You get him out of that shell and you will find a very nice guy. Shy people are very caring people but don’t have a good opinion of themselves.
2006-09-24 14:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you stated you have a mutual friend. He should be comfortable around you since he see you often .He has your number and now the ball is in his court. You have done enough to show this man that you like him(notes,messages). Now its time to see if you enjoy his company one on one. He might be shy so you have to start the conversation. Well have you actually been around him where you can ask him to join you alone or you say say something like I cooked for you now its time for you do the same.Good luck
2006-09-24 21:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time. Eventually, he'll come around. It doesn't sound like he's too shy -- maybe just afraid of rejection. Maybe he needs a bit of a push. Why not ask him out, instead? Girls do it all the time these days. Suggest having coffee or lunch together, and see what he does. Good luck!
2006-09-24 21:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shy guys can be wonderful once you get to know them.
Try to set up a time with a group of people get together.
You just need to get a conversation going. You might have to make the first move.
2006-09-24 21:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am shy and my wife shared her thoughts and feelings with me which let me be more open with her. Sometimes shyness is a protection to keep from being hurt. If you reach out and trust your feelings with him, quite possibly he will share with you. I think you are off to a great start. Just my 2 cents.
2006-09-24 21:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by lopie6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's absolutely nothing that says you can't make the first move you know. Invite him over for a nice dinner.
2006-09-24 21:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ew don't show him your boobs. invite him over for dinner and just keep the subject casual for a couple times then get a little bit more personal each time.
invite him to something like a um boat ride and tell him you like him. listen to his answer (yes give him a kiss, no um i don't know)
2006-09-24 21:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by sammy k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off he's very shy.. so there fore you make the first move.. ask him out for coffee and then take it from there.. if you expect him to approch you then your gonna wait awhile since he's shy.. so you make the first move. good luck
2006-09-24 21:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by beth-y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeps things like that, until his heart expodes. Shyness would dissapear for a man who loves, i believe! heheh.. goodluck
2006-09-24 21:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by ... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
jk that u think hes antisocial and that u don't no how u r ever gonna get to go out w/ him if he refuses to ask u. it lightens the mood, and gives him a nice slide into, "ok, well do u wanna go out on friday then?"
2006-09-24 21:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by neverland22 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋