Can i ask my ex all the questions i want to ask him?

Question

I can't take this whole breaking up thing. I was so in love with him, would of done anything for him.

The last time i saw him he dropped me off at the airport to head back to college and kissed me goodbye. He counted down the number of times we'd have to say goodbye to each other like this again before i graduate and we'd be married and never have to part again...

2 weeks later, we break up and he doesnt try to call or email or see me or anything. I just dont get it. I have so many questions for him. It's so hard to accept this is real. But its been almost a month and he hasnt contacted me. What do i do? Can i ask him all my dozens and dozens of questions about what happened? Would he even answer?

Answer 1

Sometimes you need to let things go. Just ask him what happened and if he doesn't give you the response you want, then just give up regardless of whether you have closure or not.

Answer 2

If you think about it for a second you will realize that you can ask any question of anyone. That, however is as far as it goes. No one is obligated to answer your questions. Sometimes there are consequences for not answering such as being held in contempt of court but refusal is an option and in this situation refusal has no consequences.

If you decide to ask, I suggest you keep a couple of things in mind. First, an answer can be no better than the question asked so ask good questions. Second, if you can't stand the answer, don't ask the question. Simply stated that means, if you can't listen to the worst possible answer perhaps you shouldn't ask the question.

I went through a similar experience when I was young. It hurt so badly I decided not to ask anything but just move on. That was 40 years ago and it still hurts sometimes. Like my experience, this one is now a part of you. It is one of the things that makes you, you. Make every effort to ensure the experience makes you a better you.

I hope this helps a little bit. Best wishes from this end. I hope you can find an answer that will satisfy you. Just remember, anything you decide will be second guessed by you as the years go by. Even partial healing will take time and total healing may never happen.

I don't envy you.

Answer 3

He may not have talked to you but his message is loud and clear.......he dumped you!!! It is OVER!!! Since you have been away, he has probably found a new girlfriend which is part of the problem of having a long distance relationship. There is nothing for you to do but accept this or your life will be miserable. There is no point in trying to ask all kinds of questions becaue the end result is the same. Just study in school, get involved with school activities and accept that this is just how life is, sweetie. Take the high road and leave him aloe......don't make a fool out of yourself by trying to contact him.......just not worth it.

Answer 4

I think his behavior sends a message loud and clear. But hope you realize the message is more than he intended. He must not be the kind of person you thought he was because this is a "crappy" way the end a relationship unless it was an abusive one. I think you should reflect of how he has treated you and consider that you do not want him and if he does contact you then you should make it very clear to him that you are not interested. Do what he failed to do. It may hurt but time will heal and you will be better off without the likes of him. Move on.

Answer 5

Freak Out

It sounds like your man moved on w/out you and this is not your fault but at the same time very frustrating as he planned this future with you and then one day he left you just know that time does heal all wounds and this guy is a jerk for not at least being honset with you and giving you a reason why he left you I had a guy do the same for me I went to his dorm and there I met his new GF she thought we were cousins since when she saw my picture he told her we were cousins I told her yes we were and then kicked him hard in the balls and moved on with my life that was a great year 2000 LOL

Answer 6

Seems like he has decided to move on. This happens a lot when people go off to college. Too bad he didn't have the decency to break up with you nicely, but some people are ******* like that.

Move on and look for someone better.

Answer 7

I understand your pain....I have been through this too many times. I don't know if you will ever know the real truth....so many people lie when they break off a relationship...they lie to protect others feelings, even though that is a joke. Your feelings are already hurt.

The only thing that will get you through this is time, and friends.

Answer 8

He may answer, but could you accept the answer? I see no problem in asking him why his feelings about you changed. However, let him know that you are not interested in him anymore and just want to know for personal growth.

You cannot force him to like you or date you. You will eventually get over the pain. Just surround yourself with supportive people.

Most relationships in the late teens and early twenties are learning experiences.

Answer 9

You can ask him all you want, but I doubt that you will get any answers. They say it takes half as long to get over a realtionship, so if you dated for 9 months, it will take about 4.5 months, and so on. But I think you should just let it go. Stop stabbing yourself in the heart.

Answer 10

could you contact him instead of him contacting u? i think u should be the bigger person and call him. ask him how hes been and then tell him u have a question for him. hopefully u'l find out whats bugging him b/c this sounds strange...men r weird i think woman have to adjust to it and move on..other wise its gona tear us apart. so try calling him, u cant live w/ yourself if you dont find out . let me no what happensss