Should i put my fiance as the father of my child or should i leave it blank. I dont wish to have the biological father listed due to the fact that he has done nothing to help out with something he created. My fiance wants to be considered as the father of this child but would it be better to leave it blank and have him adopt the child afterwards. And if so how do you go about an adoption like that?
2006-09-24 12:44:53 · 20 answers · asked by sweet_txrebel 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
im unsure about what to do because i have heard from other people that the father of my child wants to try to obtain full custody after the child is born, but he doesnt have a job. and has no utilities at his house. And i really dont wish to have anymore to do with him. He caused me enough problems already.
2006-09-24 12:56:47 · update #1
SURE WHY NOT THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE REAL DAD AND YOUR HUSBAND WILL BE LEGALLY HIS FATHER .
2006-09-24 12:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance wants to be considered as the father of this child but would it be better to leave it blank and have him adopt the child afterwards. And if so how do you go about an adoption like that?
Yes, it is best to wait until the baby is born, you two get married and then he can file for adoption to be on the certificate. It is best to do so. Especially if you two are not married yet.
You would need to contact the bi logical father, have an attorney and set up hearing for him to sign his rights away for your husband to file for custody.
Each state can be different. I recommend talking to your family attorney for this.
You can give your child any last name you want to give. If you rather give your child your last name and change it later when married, that is ok. My step sister is doing that right now.
I would suggest leaving the birth certificate alone as far as putting down the father issue. In some states that is illegal. In California it isn't. My mom still put my bi logical father down as the father since he is. Yet, some states will not allow that.
You need to check with your states regulations on that.
I do not have my bi logical father's last name. I have my older siblings dad last name. My mom let me know in the begin I have a different dad and that is ok. My bi logical dad wasn't really there all my life pretty much anyhow. (long story to explain).
You can also give his last name to save all the document changes if you would like if he is able to adopt.
However keep in mind that the bi logical father can come into this baby's life as the real father, even if he isn't there during the pregnancy. Having your fiance be a part is wonderful. But, still doesn't change the fact this child has a bi logical father who still has rights and can fight to have those rights.
If the rumors are true, I do suggest you get started on this now and not wait for that time to come. Yet, take it easy and don't stress yourself. Stressing might cause complications in your pregnancy.
Contact your lawyer and start discussing options of what you can do. Best advice is from law that deals with this as their daily career lives.
2006-09-24 12:59:56 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Putting his name on the birth certificate when you know he is not the Father is totally illegal. Not only are you sticking him with the responsibility of someone else's child for life you are taking away any rights the biological Father has to the child and also any rights the child has to know his biological Father.
I vote for leaving it blank and if you do marry your fiance someday in the future asking the biological Father to sign his rights away so your fiance can adopt.
In the meantime allow the bio Dad the chance to know his child and also to pay child support.
Your could also list the fiance as the Father at a later date if the biological Father does not fight you on it and you have not asked a court to order him to pay child support.
You do not have to prove the fiance is the Father to add his name later unless someone else comes forward then and says he is the Father.
Whatever decision you make now will affect your child forever.
2006-09-24 13:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by ebosgramma 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a family member going through the same thing. Please put the biological father's name on the birth certificate. One day, this man may come forward and be a great dad. Besides, the child needs to know who the real father is. Do not cheat your child of this. If after you are married to your fiance and the baby's biological father is willing to relinquish his rights and have your husband adopt the baby, then do it. But please, do not cheat this child out of his "dad". I know it's hard, but don't be selfish. To be a good mother is to ALWAYS think of the child first! Another thing, if your fiance is only your fiance when this baby is born, then ABSOLUTELY NOT. Do not put him as the father on the birth certificate. Basically he can call it quits with you a few months after the baby and would you want this man to have rights to your child. You have no idea how difficult it is. If you truly decide to cheat the child of his father, put no one on this certificate.
wishing you the best and remember only make your decisions based on what's best for the child not for yourself.
2006-09-24 12:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by Vi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have think about what might happen if you don't get married or you get married and then divorce. Will you want him in your life? Are you sure the biological father doesn't want anything to do with the baby? Make sure you ask him. Because it could cause problems in the future. Why not make the bio father pay for the baby with regards to child support? But then you will have to see him if he expresses interest in seeing the baby. I agree with the person who said leave it blank and adopt later. Or talk with a lawyer first. It's complicated.
2006-09-24 12:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by goldielocks123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say let him, only a real man would take that kind of responsibility you should consider yourself lucky.The biological father can't take it then he's a HUGE jerk. Good Luck and your fiance sounds like a nice guy.Don't bother with the adoption if your fiance is going to help raise your child no matter what he will be his father so I say don't leave it blank and put his name.
2006-09-24 12:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by Fallen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In many states whoever you list as the father, is the father. If you're married your husband is usually automatically listed as the father whether he is or not.
I say put his name on the birth certificate, it's what happens when he adopts your child anyway, and this will save you a lot of money. If he wants to step up and be Dad, then more power to him. I hate dead beat dads. Good luck!
2006-09-24 12:55:56 · answer #7 · answered by jenpeden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are living my life. I have a wonderful baby girl and her father or should i say donor... said he wanted to be there and that he wouldn't be a dead beat dad and bla bla bla well my boyfriend who has been with me threw the whole thing has not asked or did not ask to be on the birth certificate we are waiting untill she is a bit older but anyway if you leave it blank the other person has no legal right to the child. Unless he takes you to court and demands a test.. he can say until he is blue in the face that this is his child but unless his name is on there it won't matter.
My babys donor i will call him because he is not a dad. has never seen her and he only lives 20 minutes away.. hasn't called to see how she is or nothing. my boyfriend is her father regardless of what any paper says he gets up in the night with her and takes to her to daycare and watches her so i can have a girls night out.. that is a father.
What i did was before i had my baby i made a agreement up basically saying that my babys donor has no rights to her and we signed it with witnesses there. basically he gave up all rights to her.
I did get though all his family medical history just in case it is ever needed and i think that you shuld do that aswell.
Put it in a safe place and move on with your life. If in two years the dad has not tryed to see this child you can have your boyfriend then adopt your child but when he does and his name goes on that paper he is legally his child...
I had a friend who married a women with 5 children and he adopted all of them well needless to say there relationship didn't work out and now he is paying child suppor on 5 kids that weren't his to begin with.
Its hard but good luck if you ever need anyone to talk to email me
sweetmellisa1@yahoo.com
it sounds like we have at least one thing in common and i can tell you maybe somethings you will feel after you have your baby and the dad don't want to see it...
2006-09-24 13:24:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mellisa C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should put the real dad's name on it - the child has a right to know who the real father is. It doesn't mean you have to be tied to him. You could try to see if your fiance can adopt him later on once you are married. If the babies real father wants to be in his life, let him. This baby has a right to know who his real father is & his real father has a right to spend time w/ his child just like you do. Set aside your differences, don't take your personal issues w/ him out on your child.
2006-09-24 18:26:34 · answer #9 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should put your fiance's name on the birth certificate. And later have him adopt your child as the father. And later on in life you should tell your child the truth about the matter if he or she is curious. But anyways I want to wish you congrats on your unborn baby!
2006-09-24 13:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by T-T from the D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the birth certificate would otherwise be left blank, you can put whoever you want on there. I would have your fiance put on there, since he clearly wants to be the dad. This will save you the time and money of an adoption.
2006-09-24 12:54:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋