I've been with this guy since I was 20 yrs old and he was my first, and now we have two children together. There is a 16 year age difference between us, and he used to be married. Well now I want to get married and he says that he's not. I've been with him for six years and he's cheated on me and I stayed with him. Now that I want ot get married he doesn't but he still wants to be with me and have all the benefits of being with me. I love him very much and don't want to lose him, but I want more and he knows that, but he says that he's just not ready yet. I know what he did was in the past, but I must say that I cheated on him after he cheated on me. But anyway should I leave him and just move on or wait for him to change his mind. Understand that he is 43yrs old and I'm 27yrs old, and I love him very much. But, I'm just stick and not sure of what to do. Anyone has any addvice?
2006-09-24 12:17:14 · 8 answers · asked by BrownSuga26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Jus by your question I can tel that you truly love this guy. But is it enuf? What do honestly think is the best solution? Six years is a long time but still in this situation at 10 years is not going to look any better. If you know what you want be honest with yourself, you have a family and express to him how much this means to you. Go from there and think about it.Talk more with him and find whats the true cause of him not wanting to get married.CUz its obvious you both love each other
2006-09-24 12:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by Teee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way to sugarcoat this so here goes: When you met this guy he was 36; my guess he was either married when you met him or got married at some point in your "relationship." He has cheated on you, he doesn't want to get married. I'm not sure what you think is going to happen if you continue to wait for him, but I'm sure it's not going to be marriage. You need to talk to an attorney about getting child support (if you don't already have some kind of legally binding agreement) to make sure he takes care of his kids and leave him. You haven't had other relationships, so how do you know that you love him? You can't compare him to anyone else. He doesn't want to marry you, has cheated on you and is not willing to commit himself exclusively to you. What is it about him that makes you afraid to lose him? If your best friend came to you with this same situation there's no way you would think this is ok. On another note, is this the example you want to set for your children? Is this a healthy relationship for them? Is he involved in their lives? Leave him. Get your legal act together and be done with him. There is nothing good or positive about your relationship with him. You need learn how to respect yourself and set a good example for your kids. Once that happens, you will meet someone who truly loves and appreciates you.
2006-09-24 19:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love him and you want to stay you better except the fact that you'll probably never get married. You guys might buy rings and the dress but if he isn't ready after 6 years and two kids when will he be ready. When he's dieing? If getting married isn't that important to you... STAY. I would have left once he double dipped. But this is your life and you need to decide where you want it to go for you and your children.
2006-09-24 19:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by jell77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i think maybe you should move on. Both of you want something different. He doesnt' want to commit, adnt here must be a good reason. If he truly loved you, he would want to marry you. There's something holdign him back. And this cheating that went on, i think once you cheat, you'll cheat again. You are so young and have so much potential outthere. Dont' settle, it will be painful to move on. but you'll be glad you did.
2006-09-24 19:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by A_Latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go he only wants to not be married because he is cheating with a girl and she does not know that you to are going out so get the F**** out of there
2006-09-24 19:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by jacob_advice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you search deep you are looking for a father figure. You are young you need to move out and let see where the chips fall best of luck
2006-09-24 19:21:29 · answer #6 · answered by God's chosen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"if i go there will be trouble, if i stay there will be double. Come on and let me know, should i stay or should i go now."
go go go
2006-09-24 19:19:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIS ***!!!
2006-09-24 19:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by Bellatrix/Jimmypants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋