Why would a parent tell their children that Santa Claus is not real--no matter how old they are?

Question

I guess I'm just about letting kids have some fun with Christmas. I know for a fact that lots of people still do the Santa Claus thing. Give me a break, that is one age old tradition. Just because a child believes in Santa Claus doesn't mean they don't know about Jesus!

My parents have never said Santa wasn't real to me--I know he isn't real, that didn't make me trust them any less. When kids find out on their own about Santa--they understand. It's not about breaking trust and it's not about lying. Geez--kids don't even think that way!

Answer 1

Before I had children, I said that I would not tell my kids that Santa Clause was real because I didn't want to let them down when they found out that Santa did not bring them presents on Christmas Eve.

Once I pulled the stick out of my _ _ _, I realized that there was nothing wrong with this belief. It is done in good fun and I have never seen a documented case of it harming a child when they find out it is make believe.

Just to let you know though, Santa Clause was real. His name was Saint Nicholas and he was a alive centuries ago and he gave gifts to the poor children in his town. So he isn't really a lie, just an exageration.

Answer 2

There comes an age when the child will have doubts about Santa - because of comments from other kids or from sneaking a peek at mom and dad's favorite hiding place. I believe in letting a child believe in Santa as long as possible (actually I believe in feeding that belief). But once that child has serious doubts after the age of 8 (before that you can still find a way to perpetuate it) then coming clean is the best way to maintain trust. When my mother talked to me I was never offended at 'the big lie' as many seem to think about it. I thought of it as a fantasy that I enjoyed for 8 years and still had fun keeping it going for my younger sister. If a parent talks to thier child about it with care and respect then Santa will always remain in their hearts.
My kids are 2 and 13 and both enjoy Santa on different levels. My daughter loves the idea of helping keep Santa real for her little brother.

Answer 3

As my mom did with her kids, I will do the same to mine. They will know santa is not real, but it is ok to have an imagination and have fun with it. It is "pretend" just as children pretend play in their daily lives growing up.

I believe the children should know the true meaning of Christmas. Not a day of getting gifts and Santa. Which those has nothing to do with Christmas in today's society

A lot of children that I substitute for or teach at the pre school do not know about Jesus or anything that Christmas orginally came about. These children are also Christians or Catholics at that.

My niece and nephew's first words are Santa and presents when I ask what Christmas is about.

Parents don't always apply those teachings nor apply the knowledge. No matter if religious or not.

My nephew just found out Santa is fake and he was extremly upset at my sister for (his words) "lying and that is not fair!" and slam the door to his room.

I would of been not understanding if my parent lied to me making me believe in something that wasn't true all for "fun". I can still have fun with it, but know the truth.

If you don't think kids think that way, then you are not around them enough to really understand they do too.

It is very common, . "What about the kids who are good, but don't get anything?" Kids will start to question and feel as if they were "naughty" since their parents could not afford gifts. (or what the chlid wanted).

I just rather not do that with my children. Others do and they say their children turned out ok.

So, different strokes for different folks.

Answer 4

I'm 21 and i have to believe.... My mom just loves Christmas and she make everyone believe in the magic of Christmas. I don't think a parent should ever tell their kids that Santa isn't real. The way i found out was there was a Toys r Us price sticker on my Bell doll from Beauty & the Beast I was crushed

Answer 5

I told my kids that Santa brings presents to children, and that adults like the idea so much that when they get older they give each other gifts and pretend they're from Santa. When they were little it made them feel like they were in on something, and as they got older still doing the "Santa" thing made them feel better about knowing the truth. They seemed fine with the whole thing, and because of the way we handled it there was no "spillling the beans" to the younger kids.

Answer 6

We tell our kids that santa is a fun story but he is not real. We also tell them about Jesus and how he died on the cross to save us from our sins. If we want them to believe us, to trust us to tell them the truth, we will not lie to them about ANYTHING. If they found out 5 years down the road that Santa was all a big pretend, why wouldn't they start to question the other things we teach them?

Answer 7

Hey Lindsey,

Safety! I know that as a parent, I would hate for my kid to come to me and say (at 25) "Hey, Dad... This Christmas I am going to ask Santa for a fleet of new cars, 1 for everyone of my friends!"

It was easier after they got older to realize that "Santa" has limits too (especially with college bills!).

Plus, As an added benefit -- I finally had help wrapping gifts the few days before Christmas and didn't need to hide them as well.

James

Answer 8

Telling a Child the Truth About Santa

Note from Dr. Bill Maier:
So what should you tell your kids about Santa Claus? We get that question every year here at Focus on the Family. In fact, I recently received this e-mail from a mom named Chris:

Dear Dr. Bill:
My 12-year-old still believes in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Every year I'm amazed that she still believes. My husband and I have always instilled in our girls the true meaning of Christmas and Easter. We don't focus much on Santa or the Bunny — except to say that they visit and leave gifts for the kids.

My daughter is the oldest of 8 cousins who all still believe, but I'm wondering if this is normal and healthy for them. Should I be concerned? Should I tell her the truth, and if so, what is the best way to do it? Keep in mind that we have a younger daughter, age 6, who will likely be affected by whatever we do.

—Chris


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Dear Chris:

It does seem a bit strange that a 12-year-old still believes in Santa Claus. I'm wondering if your daughter is somewhat naïve for her age. On the one hand, her innocence is refreshing; on the other, it's probably time to have "the talk" with her. By that I mean the "Santa Claus" talk.

I'm glad to hear that she understands the true meaning of Christmas, that we are celebrating the birth of the Son of God, and not the fact that a jolly old elf flies around the world on his sleigh.

You might say something like this to your daughter:

"Honey, families all over the world have legends and stories about a person like Santa Claus, and young children love to believe in him. Santa represents a lot of the things that are good, like kindness, generosity and fun. Now that you are older, it's important for you to understand that Santa isn't a real person, but you can still believe in all of those good qualities."

You might also tell your daughter about the real Saint Nicholas, who Santa Claus is based on. He was born in Turkey, about two hundred years after Jesus. He was a believer in Christ, and as a teenager, he heard about a poor family that couldn't afford to buy food, so he sneaked up to their house one night and tossed a handful of gold coins through the window. They never knew who did it.

Nicholas was so thrilled about helping a family in need that this became a regular habit with him. His family was wealthy, so he dedicated his entire life to sharing what he had with others. Later, he became a bishop in the village of Myra, and because of his humility he was given the title of Sainthood. From then on he was known as St. Nick. Some people say that he still comes around once a year giving gifts to those in need.

Thanks for writing, Chris. I pray that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

By the way, if you'd like to teach your children about the birth of Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas, let me recommend a wonderful DVD available from Focus on the Family called Christmas Story Keepers. You can find it in Focus' online Resource Center.

Answer 9

sorry but my 17 yo was very upset n confused when at 8 everyone at school was telling him santa isnt real n that we were lying to him so i sat there n explaned it all to all 3 of my kids n i dont regret it at all ,it still took him a year or so to get over the fact that we let them believe in him n he wasnt real n if i had of known he would of took it the way he did i would of been straight from the start

Answer 10

I didn't tell my child he wasn't real but I did tell him that Santa shows up to children lets fortunate that he. Therefore by purchasing gifts for others at Christmas that our less fortunate than ourselves allows Santa to deliver gifts to them.

First off Santa Clause has nothing to do with the birth of Christ. I believe it is one of the best advertisement / marketing ploys in the world.

I didn't want my child expecting gifts that I couldn't afford to give him, i didn't want him to be vain. Also I keep it real with my son is soon to be 8. I didn't tell him until he was 7.