I don't want to have any contact with anyone in my family except my parents and my older brother and I can't determine if this really wrong or not. No one in my family has ever had anything to do with me and they only started ccaring my brother last year when he was accepted to a boarding school for gifted students. I see them about 4 - 6 a times a year. My entire life they've just existed, a source of bad Christmas gifts and birthday money. They don't really care about; just my brother. The last time I saw my grandfather and his 2nd wife, the only thing said about me was how pretty I was turning out to be. Not one mention of how well I'd done on the PSAT or how great my grades were or anything. All of the education talk was about my brother.
I can't decide if it's wrong that I can't stand the thought of them and never want to talk to any of them ever again.
Any help?
2006-09-24 12:05:13 · 9 answers · asked by Amy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ever hear the phrase you can pick your friends but not your family? If you only have to deal with it a couple times a year don't waste your time thinking about it but sometimes family really surprises you when you need them the most.
2006-09-24 12:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by opposummomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive worked with abused kids for a lot of years and it never ceased to amaze me how they would spend their last dollar on buying a christmas/birthday card for the parent/s who abused them. It is their need to belong, even if it is to be accepted and loved by an abusive household. We all need to be appreciated, accepted and loved. If you dont feel that way with family members then find people who do appreciate and love you.
I just answered a question about a similar thing not long ago and I said, you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family. If you are being treated unfairly, then family member or not, they dont have that right.
My life is now wonderful ever since I decided to cut ties with my sister. I had to endure her while I was growing up because I was a child and a part of a "family" When I was an adult I thought to myself "I would never pick my sister as a friend because she is greedy, nasty, self opiniated and just plain horrible" I cut her out of my life and it was the best thing I ever did. I no longer have to put up with her criticisms. I no longer have to be judged and put down by her. I have good friends who appreciate me for me, not for who they want me to be. I live without the stresses of trying to "live up" to what a family member expects of me.
Whether a person is "family" doesnt make any difference...no-one has the right to put another person down. If these family members are causing you all this stress, then cut them out. We live in a world full of stresses anyway, why add to them with people who treat you unfairly....you dont need it. If they want you in their lives, then they are the ones who have to show you. You have done everything you can.....they are the ones who need to show you a bit of consideration. You are a human being too, not just a member of a family. You have an identity...you are not just a child of a parent/s...you are not just a sister of a brother...you are not just a wife of a husband...you are a real live person and a very important one at that.
2006-09-24 19:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't pick your parents or your family...you can only pick your seat the movies.
Honey, just sit back and enjoy that family that calls you wife and mommy and let the rest of them stew in their own juices. You cannot change them, so just concentrate on the ones who do care about you and how your life has turned out. It hurts, but you are going to be the better, happier person for it if you concentrate on what is right under your own nose before you lose it for pining about a family that has no interest in how you are doing.
2006-09-24 19:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't determine how others think of you. You have made wonderful choices and you must decide how these choices have made a difference in your life. The most difficult decisions you will make is who to include in your life. The people who treasure you will do everything that they can to support you. Everyone else can go by the wayside. It is soooo painful to let the others go. But in the end you will know who cares. Believe in them and believe in YOU. You will not fail...
2006-09-24 19:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by Lynn V 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a hard relationship with my family and have personal experience with this. I recommend doing what you want right now with staying away from them. If you take care of yourself now maybe things will change and you will have a positive relationship with them eventually but until then don't waste your energy on them, focus on being happy with yourself and your friends.
2006-09-24 19:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by gamblintrixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on how they treated you or still treat you. If they treat you bad i can see the logics in that. Although there are just some people you cant stand.
2006-09-24 19:17:58 · answer #6 · answered by angelfish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i stay away from my family too sence they never did anything to help me at all now that im older i need them less!it all depends on how they are ,if you got a good family why would you do that
2006-09-24 19:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are too needy and shallow. people of different ages act differently. money is never a bad gift.
2006-09-24 19:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me i know what ou mean! But kill people with love jesus cares
2006-09-24 19:24:55 · answer #9 · answered by God's chosen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋