IV'E BEEN "DATING" THIS GUY "PAUL" FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS. IT'S BEEN A CASUAL THING MOST OF THE TIME. THIS GUY THOUGH, IT SEEMS THAT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP IS THE LAST THING ON HIS MIND,EVEN THOUGH WE KEEP IN TOUCH LIKE WE ARE. HE'S 31 & I'M 25. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2006-09-24 11:29:47 · 20 answers · asked by Nicole G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you actually sat down and asked him where the realtionship is headed? It could be that you two having been doing the "casual" thing for so long it's just become a way of life. He's probably oblivous to the fact that you want a commited relationship because you haven't brought it up before now. I would actually sit down and talk to him about it, perhaps over a casual lunch or some such event, that way there's no pressure. By doing this, at least than you'll know what his view is on the realtionship and can make your decision from there. Perhaps he feels the same way, but dosen't want to ruin a good thing by "getting serious" with you if you aren't ready.
2006-09-24 11:35:01 · answer #1 · answered by Captain James 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't gotten serious with you in four years....he is not going to. If you really want a serious and committed relationship you are going to have to find it with someone else.
I have been there. Last bf was almost 5 years, we lived together for 2 of those five years. He didn't want to be in a committed relationship so he left. What I don't understand is why he spoke of marriage often in our first few years together....and why did he move in with me? I am 49 and he is 56.....he's not a kid and neither am I.
So unless you want to be 49 and wondering if he will ever commit, I would say you have your answer already.
2006-09-24 11:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by commit? Marriage? So you want to be fairy princess for a day. At a cost of 10000 bucks. In a church.
And afterwards he will have committed?
No, he will only have gone to a very expensive party and said a few words under coercion to please you. He may even cry. But real commitment is what you already have - five years of keeping in touch like you are in a relationship - because you are in a relationship.
Life is too short to be wanting more, when you already have so much.
2006-09-24 11:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by Pastor Sauce 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How casual? Four years sounds like a long time. If you're looking for commitment, you should tell him that. It might come as a bit of a shock, so lead up to it. If he's not ready for commitment, at least you will know.
2006-09-24 11:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop letting him suck the youth out of you. You're 25 - a perfect age for professional and personal advancement. Don't let loserboy drag you down. If he doesn't want you on your terms, then he doesn't get you, plain and simple. Make a clean break and start doing things for yourself. If he's worth it, he'll come around and commit. If not, you haven't lost another precious moment of your time.
2006-09-24 11:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by Elizabeth T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't committed after 4 years, chances are he's not going to. Start dating other guys, If he wants you, he will come around and ask for commitment.
2006-09-24 11:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by mslorikaraoke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a commitment to me...4 years of seeing each other? Yep, definitely a commitment!
2006-09-24 11:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time thats bull! , Did you tell him that you want to take it to the next level. Hey Girl if your guy dosent want the same thing its time for you to move on.Please dont let the last four years of your life be a waste.
Please read: He is just not into you.
2006-09-24 11:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say that if he hasn't in three years, there is no real liklihood that he ever will.
i think every year is a milestone in which you have to assess where you're at in the relationship. if you have the life goal of getting married, and you see no real liklihood of getting married, ask yourself if you might be losing oppurtunities with those you might end up marrying by being with him. that's called oppurtunity cost, and it is the price that you are paying for the stability you are enjoying.
ps - don't try to snare a guy in who doesn't want to get married. it a sure way to live in unhappiness and mutual resentment forever.
2006-09-24 11:34:29 · answer #9 · answered by w0t_b0t 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please hon, find another guy to date, fall in love, get married, etc.
This guy is NOT interested, and will not make a good partner.
P.S. Start dating someone else and he might change his mind, too!
Your youth is precious; you have just so many years of it. Do NOT waste it waiting on a guy who will not commit!
2006-09-24 11:36:25 · answer #10 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋