Why are virgins so important to Muslims?

Question

Virginity is a big deal, like when people blow themselves up for those 72 virgins in heaven.

Will someone please explain this? As long as her snatch feels good, why does it matter if she's a virgin?

Answer 1

The individuals who fight in jihad for the cause of Allah are not motivated by the reward of virgins. They are motivated because they believe they are doing something heroic and worthwile for Islam. They are ridding the world of "fitnah" disbelief in Allah.

Anyway, here is some lighthearted humor about the 72 virgins.


72 Questions on the 72 Virgins

By Martin M. Bodek
http://www.martinbodek.com/

Muslim fundamentalists believe that a "martyr" (shaheed) who dies while fighting in the holy war against the infidels (jihad) goes to paradise where he is given 72 beautiful virgins for wives plus a number of never aging boys for slaves (apparently, pedophilia is allowed in paradise as well as slavery and polygamy). This is the eternal bliss that the suicidal Islamic terrorists crave. In an interesting twist, if a woman dies as a martyr, she is rewarded with only one husband since women are supposed to stay monogamous even in heaven -- according to the same Islamic doctrine.

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1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-douze?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to subsitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?

Answer 2

This was a mistranslation of Al Quran. It is NOT 72 virgins. When a suicide bomber gets to heaven, Saint Peter gives him a plate of 72 white grapes. Don't believe me? Look it up.

Answer 3

the whole 72 virgin stuff is fabricated info by the media, what it is is that when u die u get these beautifull creatures in heaven ( cant remember the name now) and women get them too if im not mistaken. and the 72 comes from the 72 dates

Answer 4

i'm not certian but i find it ironic that they killed a nun, who very possibly could have been a virgin and thus - let's hope she's one of their endowed 72 waiting at the gates - wonder is she'll let them in?

Answer 5

i never hear about 72 virgins!i mean this number exactly..
there is virgins in the heaven with many many many things ..
so i think u who made this a big deal ..

Answer 6

because virgins are not used by other men

Answer 7

Virgins in Paradise is a reward promised by Allah سبحانه و تعالى. The number that each man gets, Allah سبحانه و تعالى knows best. (72 is for the martyrs). Abu Umama narrated: "The Messenger of God said, 'Everyone that God admits into paradise will be married to 72 wives; two of them are houris and seventy of his inheritance of the [female] dwellers of hell. All of them will have libidinous sex organs and he will have an ever-erect penis.' " Sunan Ibn Majah, Zuhd (Book of Abstinence) 39 It was mentioned by Daraj Ibn Abi Hatim, that Abu al-Haytham 'Adullah Ibn Wahb narrated from Abu Sa'id al-Khudhri, who heard the Prophet Muhammad PBUH saying, 'The smallest reward for the people of Heaven is an abode where there are eighty thousand servants and seventy-two houri, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine and ruby, as wide as the distance from al-Jabiyyah to San'a. Al-Tirmidhi, Vol. 4, Ch. 21, No. 2687 Each time we sleep with a Houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [i.e. Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas. Al-Itqan fi Ulum al-Qur'an, p. 351 Anas said, Allah be well-pleased with him: The Messenger of Allah said, upon him blessings and peace: “The servant in Paradise shall be married with seventy wives.” Someone said, “Messenger of Allah, can he bear it?” He said: “He will be given strength for a hundred.” From Zayd ibn Arqam, Allah be well-pleased with him, when an incredulous Jew or Christian asked the Prophet, upon him blessings and peace, “Are you claiming that a man will eat and drink in Paradise??” He replied: “Yes, by the One in Whose hand is my soul, and each of them will be given the strength of a hundred men in his eating, drinking, coitus, and pleasure.” Sifat al-Janna, al-`Uqayli in the Du`afa’, and Musnad of Abu Bakr al-Bazzar This [Qur'an 78:33] means round breasts. They meant by this that the breasts of these girls will be fully rounded and not sagging, because they will be virgins, equal in age. Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Abridged, Volume 10 Surat At-Tagabun to the end of the Qur'an, 333-334

Answer 8

not quiet sure..
female circumcision so the potential husband can't tell his bride is not a virgin, but has been gang raped by her father and uncle since she was young.
a lot of men in that culture will go anal so as to keep the female a virgin.

Answer 9

Hey guy, for the most part, I'm with ya on this one. Virgins are boring, unless you plan to marry her, IMHO.

Answer 10

right now I dont understand ur peak ignorance and a desperate need of spreading hatred..

yuck