Hi,I was married in July to a Military Man , I was just curious if anyone noticed a difference from dating,or being with a Civilian opposed to someone in the Military. I mean as far as controlling,abusive,being loyal. Do Military seem more so,and if you think so,why is that? Please respond if you have had the Exp....
And before you start in,I am not picking on Military.....Either Civilain or Military can be controlling and all the above.
2006-09-24 11:04:47 · 12 answers · asked by Holly 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I was a military 'brat' and delt with military my whole life. My father was firm, however he also was a really very caring person, that caring was directed to his family and his men.
My son is in the military now, and he has become more respectful than ever.
So my answer would be no, the military doesn't 'make' someone controlling and abusive...if someone is like that they 'come' that way!
2006-09-24 13:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by seabreezzzee 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think being in the military or not makes a man any more or less abusive or loyal. It really depends upon the person's personality. If a person was an abusive civilian, he may become more abusive as a soldier because of the "god" concept guys get from being in the military. My husband became 100x more loyal and protective of me when he joined the Army, but he did developed the "I am a bad @ss because I'm an officer for the Armor unit". The only negative thing I noticed was the amount of drinking that goes on with soldiers, especially of those of higher ranks, and the development of the conceited attitude. To me, the only thing I can think of as to why a guy would suddenly become abusive is because of all the sh!t that they have to deal with that's just totally new to them. As a civilian, if someone came up to me and said something rude, I'd tell them to F@#K off, however, you can't express yourself so freely in the ranks, so a man might end up taking it out on his family. If you feel there is abuse going on in your family, you can always go to your FRG or to the chapel and set up a counseling appointment with the pastor, domestice abuse is NOT TOLERATED in the military. There are heavy consequenses for abusers. GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-24 12:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by afafae25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guy and I were together before he became a Marine, but I think that military gave him a lot of things to make him a better man and a better person in whole. I think a lot more of the men are loyal than what they're given credit for. When those guys go away, leaving someone they love at home, they think about that person and long to be with them. My husband was one of these guys and a lot of his friends are too.
About the controlling, abusive, etc... it's the man, himself. It has nothing to do with whether or not he is military.
2006-09-24 11:12:01 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No as a Prior military I was never controlling since my Wife and I left the jobs where they were and had a very healthy marriage of 20 years. There is a balance it is different for each couple so what worked for us may not for you. If he is bringing the military home and barking out orders remind him that this is home. Trust me You will find the balance of success. OH and by the way I was in the USN. Good luck and Best wishes to you.
2006-09-24 11:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by Barry G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, both me and my husband were in the military before we got married. We were in the same company and everything, so we actually knew what to expect from each other. He has never been controlling over me. He's deployed to Afghanistan right now and wont be home til March 2007. Deployment has already taken a toll on him and I can tell that he's changed alot. So, things might change around here.
2006-09-24 15:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Army Wife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it has to do with military training if they are controlling or abusive-its thier personality. My husband is a Sgt in the Army, he is respectful because thats how he was brought up and he's loyal because he loves me. I know of soldiers and civilian couples that are in the middle of a divorce or having problems because of the things you mentioned. I dont think it matters if its military or not, its the individual themselves. I have a neighbor whos having problems with her husband being controlling but I think alot has to do not only with him just coming back from Iraq but her actions while he was gone. I know another military couple who are one of those couples that are so perfect it grosses you out! So it can go both ways- not one person is like another.
2006-09-24 11:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by ArmyWife 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a Military guy myself and I couldnt be happier.
I do not like making generalizations in the sense of saying "military or civilian is something that makes the diffference". It all depends on the individual but I can say proudly that the loyalty and love that my military man displays in our family is simply amazing. He is very hardworking, understanding and supportive and some of these traits I am sure are also adapted by his service in the Army.
2006-09-24 11:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I met in the U.S. Army in 1994. We got married in 1999, and have a 10 y/o son. I have only dated a few civilian men in my life. I joined the Army when I was 20. Military guys are great, not to mention most of them are very well mannered and very good looking(love the military haircuts) My husband has never been abusive toward me, he doesn't drink, cuss, smoke and he is very loyal to me and only me.
2006-09-24 12:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've dated a Marine (engaged actually) many regular guys, married to a regular guy and married now to a military guy. The military guy is the best. It was the "regular" guy that was abusive, controlling, etc.
2006-09-24 14:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i've dated an airman, a marine, and some civilians. I think that military men are more respectfull, and treat me better. I am more old fashioned, so i like guys that take control, and thats how they are trained. I prefer soldiers to civilians
2006-09-24 11:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋