Fear of death... My wife has awful fear of death.?

Question

any suggestions....

Answer 1

well...let's break it down.

if there is nothing after death, then that is the end and it is final. in which case one should strive and do all one can to leave something good behind (although that does bring up the question of what defines "good").

if there is an afterlife (god), then one must decide what that afterlife consists of. depending on one's spiritual beliefs, this afterlife will produce feelings of either comfort or fear. not knowing what to believe will produce a LOT of fear. perhaps your wife needs to examine her system of belief, and determine whether or not it is liveable as a philosophy.

if death is the end, then there can be nothing beyond it - in which case there is nothing to fear. you will be dead, but you won't know it, so you might as well live all-out. you lose nothing by living a good life. a bad life will be a painful one...why wreck your only shot at it?

if death is not the end, then what happens after? this is actually scarier than death, when you think about it...it makes one want to reexamine closely held beliefs, because there will be consequences if one chooses the wrong system of belief...

your wife needs to sit down and ask herself in all seriousness the real question; WHY is she afraid of death? that is the starting point to overcoming her fear. when she can define the reason for her terrible dread, she can then decide what she wants to do about it. you can't fight an enemy you can't see.

you can email me if you like...i would be willing to discuss it further if you are interested. i've had to deal with some pretty heavy philosophical questions of my own...

ps. ummm...lavenderbeard? i think you were only "mostly dead" LOL! otherwise i would have gone through your pockets;)

Answer 2

What has happened lately for your wife to become fixated to death? How long has she been feeling the fear of dying? Does she have anxiety attacks? At one point or another we all have this fear. We all come to the reality check that we are going to die no matter how invincible we have thought our self to be in the past. Maintaining a good relationship with God, can help a lot. Reassurance that her life is far from being over, helps too. Maybe she needs some questions answered concerning the death process that she is holding back from asking or maybe someone said something to her, that brought this fear factor on. Just be patience with her, and help her figure out what it is about death that scares her. Maybe your preacher could talk to her. If she doesn't want to talk to them, find someone to listen to her other than yourself. If those that fear death, don't come to terms with what it is that is scaring them, she may get to the point of never wanting to leave the house and eventually want even leave her bedroom. She will be in a panic all the time, also worrying about her loved ones. A terrible world to live it. I hope the best outcome possible for her and you too.

Answer 3

That is so sad. I have no fear of death - I just want to get as much done in this life as I can. Has she talked to a psychic face to face? Even if she is a skeptic, a good reputable psychic may be able to help her. If she can find something that may be waiting for her, she may be eased a bit. Some religions tend to put a terrible fear into people about death. If this is the case, maybe find a different church. I'm not religious, but I do think that god won't mind where you worship. I hope she finds some resolve soon. Good luck.

Answer 4

I hate to sound awful, but depression can lead to fixation on death. I know, I've been there. Please take her to a therapist - and if they suggest meds - DON'T be negative about them! It's a chemical imbalance in your brain - not a weakness of character or moral fiber. People would never tell a diabetic that they should try not to use so much insulin, but the minute it's about depression, people are "Pull yourself together" Real clinical depression - which doesn't necessarily need a trigger - is a chemical imbalance.

Hang in there & get her some help ...

Answer 5

Being afraid of anything is really hard.

Try to ask her exactly what about it she is so afraid of? Help her talk about her fears. This helps get them out in the open and sort of relieve the pressure. Don't judge just listen and be supportive.

Is she a person of faith? If she isn't that tells me she just doesn't have a comfort level about what is going to happen during and after death.

I personally am comfortable that this life is the waiting room and am anxiously awaiting heaven knowing that the best is yet to come.

Be supportive and help her as much as you can.
She may really need counseling.

Answer 6

I'm not sure what your question is... but is there a reason she's afraid of death? Most people who fear death are actually afraid of something else (the unknown, judgement, pain, etc). It might help her to figure out exactly what it is she's afraid of. Then she can start to deal with it and move on.

Answer 7

I had (have) the same fear. I became agoraphobic. I finally went to my local shrink and found that I had a panic/anxiety disorder and major depression. I take medication now and am doing well. It can be a paralyzing fear. Don't downplay or dismiss it. the stress that it causes can cause high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome, etc.

Answer 8

Simple. She just needs to live her life. Being fearfull of death has a horrible impact on it. If she simply can't get these thought out of her mind, I would suggest seeing a psycologist.

Answer 9

Ego fears death. If she wants to drop fear of death, she will need to lose her ego. Zen does this.

Answer 10

She needs to discuss this with someone. Not even a professional but even a preacher or someone. Death is unavoidable and we can't do anything about it so no sense in being afraid of it.