There is this guy, well, this man, that I am crazy about. My parents, however, don't know about him, and probably won't know about him for a while because of the age difference: 12 years. Is this bad that guys my age aren't attractive to me, or do I need to give up on this man and keep looking for someone closer to home? Or maybe, even, what other advice to you have for me that will help my situation?
2006-09-24 09:35:34 · 27 answers · asked by Allee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, since everyone is questioning my age, I will let you know that I'm 20, making him 32, and no, I do not still live with my parents... if that helps with your advice for me! Thanks for all the advice so far - it's helping me sort things out!
2006-09-24 11:37:11 · update #1
Try closer to your age and do not be in a hurry, enjoy life!
2006-09-24 09:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of how old are you? Because if you are under age, there would have to be a miracle for you r folks to accept this type of relationship, parents sometimes won't or can't understand the "youth today." Anyways ( let's say in your early 20's this man must be in his early or late 30's ) the age isn't the problem, it's if you just have a crush on the man or if your willing to put an effort to build a lasting relationship and if the man feels the same way. Believe me when I tell you I was in a situation something similar to yours. The age difference and parental approval. You feel that the guys near your age just don't do it, maybe because of the immaturity or lack of attention to relationships, who knows. But just do what you feel like doing. Date the man, and if things go wrong move on. Don't be afraid to experience new things and the who, what, why's from your folks they'll calm down when they see you happy. Sometimes going out of the age group is a lot BETTER.
2006-09-24 16:51:15 · answer #2 · answered by marelyn d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you aren't a minor, then age is not a problem. I don't think that it is bad that you are attracted to him. Maybe you are just too mature for your age and his maturity level catches your attention. I don't believe that you will be satisfied with a guy your age if he isn't mature enough for you because you will eventually dump him. I was with a man who was 12 years older than me and it was good, the problem was that he had an alcohol problem and an ex-wife with a daughter which made our relationship too difficult and I decided to let go. Now, at this point in time, I have been with a young man who's 11 years YOUNGER than me who is extremely mature for his age. I'M HAPPY! So, it's up to you. Go with your instincts, but do not let this guy walk all over you or try to be controlling just because you are so much younger. Take control of your relationship from the beginning and if it's not going your way, DUMP HIS A**!!! There are more fish in the sea...Good luck.
2006-09-24 16:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by SheDevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, how old are you? secondly, it's okay to like older guys, but stick closer to home like within 3 years. that's still a little high in some cases but it's a lot better than 12 years. the only circumstances wiich that kind of an age difference isn't frowned upon is when the ppl are like 40 and 52.... and that's still a stretch, in my opinion. no matter what you should definetly not date someone that much older than you if you still live with your parents. it's just not a good idea on the guys part due to legal issues that could arise...if ya know what i mean.
2006-09-24 16:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by beneaththemangotree12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your 16 and he's 28, I say give it a rest, at least for now. As long as you're both adults (legal adults) and both are okay with it, I personally see no problem with it. Your parents might, depending on the ages in question.
Now I'm going to spout something you've most likely heard plenty before: Girls mature faster than boys. Meaning, guys your age probably wont look good to you for a while yet, but that's no reason to not look around some. Guys are actually quite surprising, at times.
2006-09-24 16:40:10 · answer #5 · answered by Suraya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes you happy. But listen and look out cuz of age difference you have to make sure he is serious, cuz you can be the one with a broken heart. My bf is 13 years older than me but he loved me first and did about everything in his power to get me and i know he wants only me. so that really does matter with age difference. at the same time focus on what matters and a relationship may not be the thing that matters right now.
2006-09-24 16:42:01 · answer #6 · answered by ifitaintmeidontcare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming since you are worried about your parents that you are really young, which probably means that a 12 year older guy is too old for you. May even be illegal for you to "date".
Find someone closer to your own age.
2006-09-24 16:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alee, I fell in love with someone who was 23 when i had just turned 17. The age diff is not the same as 12, but i wanted to add that my parents didnt know either util i became pregnant! Now that they have met him i feel like they like him more than me hehe. Just keep it secret as long as possible, if you love him dont let anyone come in between. We are getting married next year. Wait until you turn 18 then tell your parents. If they really love you they will learn to like him and one day love him.
love
Girlie
2006-09-24 16:41:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is not as important as the maturity of the individuals involved. The ability to create and maintain a relationship will depend on continuing to have common goals.
Try being honest with yourself and him. If you're afraid your parents won't approve thats a big hint chances are slim it will work.
(But great relationships have started from less)
2006-09-24 16:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by cryptosexologist 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok....i'm 25 and have always gone out with older guys - from 6-15 years older than me. It has never worked for me yet.....but I am guessing you may be young if you are worried what your parents things so tred carefully!!!!
I don't see age difference as a problem (with in reason), but be sure you can trust him before you start anything with him!!!!!
Good luck hun.
2006-09-24 16:39:31 · answer #10 · answered by scs005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
age is just an excuse. if the two of you are happy (and you are legal) i don't see a problem with it. a lot of times women look for older men because they have already matured and gotten over all the little kiddie games. my mom married someone that is 18 years older than her but she is happy and that's all that matters. it's kinda weird to me though because she has step-kids that are older than her! she always told me that all the guys close to her age just wasn't what she was interested in.
2006-09-24 16:43:59 · answer #11 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋