I have noticed in the last couple of months, my stepdaughter has become extremely possessive of my husband and is very clingy to him and needy. If he walks away, sometimes she'll say don't leave me, she needs to sit, stand, walk with him almost all of the time and grab him, hold him. I encourage their relationship, it is her father, but it has become excessive to me and needy. Is this normal for a child of divorce and is it normal for her age? Maybe I'm a little jealous, I'm not sure. I have always supported them and their relationship. I just feel confused and I don't want to feel annoyed, but I do. I do really love her. Any advice?
2006-09-24 09:30:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
P.S. I have been with her father since she was very young, her parents are not newly divorced.
2006-09-24 09:37:10 · update #1
its common, shes afraid of whats going on and the changes that are happening, give her time, or consult her doctor, she may benefit from some help from a counselour
2006-09-24 09:32:42 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do rather then being jealous is to realize she is his child, not another woman.
Right now, this girls parents divorced and she see's daddy with a new woman. Since she lost them two as a couple she is probably in fear right now that she may lose him OR that you'll take him away from her.
Rather then being just supportive and encouraging, you should start a bonding relationship with her so that she can understand you care about her and won't feel the need to be as clingy. Also, she may come to you after a while rather then to her father because you're a woman and if you're showing your love towards her and she sees is then she'll probably confide in you.
Right now, it's a hard time for her and she is young. You have to be patient.
2006-09-24 16:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hiya
Remember that teenagers always go through a difficult state whether they are divorced or not. Having a step mother may provide a focus for it but mums get it just as much.
You and the father need to have a common set of ground rules about what sort of behaviour is acceptable for your daughter and what punishments to give out if need be.
Does your daughter only get attention from the dad if she behaves like this - is he too busy normally? If this is the case he should spend more time with his daughter normally and not "reward" her with attention when she is stroppy.
I dont think it is just step mums who can be jealous of daughters many mums get jealous at times of the relationship between daughters and dads.
You sound like you are trying to be very grown up about this and acknowledge how you feel. Talk to the dad in a positive way as in
I am really proud of the good relationship with your daughter
insert your issue here
becasue then this will improve the way we work as a family unit and we can spend more time enjoying ourselves and developing together.
Also check that there is nothing else going on with other issues in her life like school, friends boys etc.
Good luck.
2006-09-24 16:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by Bebe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a step daughter and i can tell you it aint easy nomatter how you slice it, but the best thing you can do is let it be , she'll understand once she realizes that your not there to steal her dad your there to give so step aside for a while, she'll come around. Best of luck! P.s now my stepmother and i get along just like an actual mom and daughter, i lost my mom when i was two in an bad accident so i feel ya
2006-09-24 16:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by djdawn85 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is normal, but that is an issue that he has to handle, the little girl is having separation anxiety and divorce is hard on kids just be patient she'll come around.
2006-09-24 16:34:57 · answer #5 · answered by mylipshot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im 14 and my parents got divorced six years ago but anyway its normal to certain kids i never really had to go through that because my dad is never here or was never there but it's normal for her to be possesive i mean your a new woman she doesnt really know alot about u but just talk to her about tell her how u feel but do this like when she gets a lil bit older because right now if u say something to her she might hate u for it
good luck
2006-09-24 17:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well u need to trake some time out and do something with the three of them like get to know them and don't get in their buisness because she may not like you yet she still prbrobaly like her reagular mom so just show her how you can be a good mom
2006-09-24 16:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are jealous
kids are jealous too -your not her mother and she knows that and she will resent you for a whiile shes too young to understand
who knows what went wrong with that reationship and dont ask either
wheres her mother shes too young to be away from her
keep supporting them
be a friend to her
its not like having your own
its up to him to make her understand -its hard for her!!!
2006-09-24 16:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by domazina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek family therapy.
2006-09-24 16:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs counseling she is way too needy.
2006-09-24 16:31:56 · answer #10 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋