2006-09-24 09:25:52 · 7 answers · asked by mica 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two nuns at the convent were let out for the evening...both returned drunk and in a bit of a state and had to crawl under the convent barbed wire fence to get back in........
Giggling Sister Teresa says "I feel like an SAS soldier" tonight.
Sister Bernadette replied "Don't be so silly, where would we get one of them at this time of the night?"
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I'm passing this on to you cause its worked for me plus I have found INNER PEACE..... the way to do this is to finish the things you started. I looked around this morning to see the things I had started so I finished the Vodka, the Baileys, some red wine and the valium and you have no idea how peaceful I am. :)
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"I don't believe it!" I've just been barred from B & Q... I was walking round the gardening section when some geek in an orange apron asked me if I wanted decking....luckily I got the first punch in!!!
2006-09-25 11:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
>>>>
>>>> A little old lady decides to join The Hell's Angels!
>>>>
>>>> One day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. A big,
>>>> hairy,
>>>> bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She boldly
>>>> proclaims, "I want to join your club."
>>>>
>>>> The guy is amused, and decides to humor her a bit, so he says
>>>> she needs
>>>> to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker
>>>> asks; "Do
>>>> you have a motorcycle?"
>>>>
>>>> The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over
>>>> there," and
>>>> points to a flamed black Harley chopper in t he driveway.
>>>>
>>>> The biker asks, "Do you drink?" The little old lady replies,
>>>> "Yep, like
>>>> a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."
>>>>
>>>> The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?"
>>>>
>>>> The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 4
>>>> packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of
>>>> cigars in the
>>>> evening, while I'm shooting pool."
>>>>
>>>> The biker is very impressed and asks, "You sound like one bad
>>>> Mama. Tell
>>>> me, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
>>>>
>>>> The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but
>>>> I've been
>>>> swung around by my nipples a few times.
2006-09-26 03:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by fire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adam and Eve are lazing on the beach one day, when Eve asks Adam if he fancies giving her some oral.
Adam liked the sound of that, and duly gets down to it, but suddenly jumps up and says, Eve you stink something terrible, don't you ever wash.
With that he picks her up and takes her down to the water, where he duly throws her in.
Just as she hit the water the sky went very dark, there were roars of thunder and huge flashes of lightning.
Then Adam heard a voice saying, " Oh Adam I wish you hadn't done that, I'll never get that smell off the fish."
2006-09-26 04:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a man went to the drs with a huge bottom hole, he said he'd been raped by an elephant, Dr. said " but even so it's such a huge bum hole youv'e got , how come it's that big"...well said the man" it fingered me first"...
2006-09-25 11:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by chris w. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you sink an Irish submarine???
Knock on the door!
2006-09-25 08:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Andy J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not me but thnx for th 2 points!
2006-09-25 08:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by Confused?! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do donkeys in blackpool get for lunch??????????
half hour!!!! boom boom
2006-09-26 00:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by kassaaaaaaaaaa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋